Anyone else here find it difficult to trust people?

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dianthus
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10 Jan 2014, 6:07 pm

When I open up to someone, I tend to open up and trust all the way really quickly. I can't do it in phases or hold part of myself back the way other people do. So I have to be really careful about letting myself trust a person.



musician_enigma
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10 Jan 2014, 6:27 pm

Yeah, I find it difficult to trust people. Mainly due to the fact that I struggle tremendously to read social situations. I am very observant of changes in body language/facial expression though, which usually leaves me feeling confused when I wonder if what I perceived was a negative reaction. Negative for what? What the hell did I say or do (or not do) to provoke that? Was what I read really a negative reaction?

Many situations like this make it difficult for me to trust. I can't tell who's really friend or who's talkin about me behind my back. I don't deal with fake people so once I've finally seen someone for that, they don't exist to me. It's easy to capture my suspicious, which is where I strengthen my guard to create distance.

The absolute best thing a person could do to gain my trust is to be brutally direct in the way they express (like how I would be with no guard up). If I see the body language or facial expression it is ESSENTIAL for me to hear spoken words and possibly action (to confirm my logic), which in turn allows me to react with much greater comprehension. End result, communication clear, no confusion, it becomes easier on both sides as we learn more about each other.

That would be extraordinaringly rare since most people rely on the subtleness of non verbal communication, ambiguity... whatever. I seldom react to that s**t because I don't understand, it's like a different language. Even if I knew what it meant I need bold confirmation for my mind to effectively react.



jk1
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10 Jan 2014, 6:32 pm

Ron5442 wrote:
After many bad experiences and very few good ones, I have learned to trust every one. I 100% trust everyone to do exactly what they think is in their own best interest and if that includes knifing their best friend in the back, they will


This is very true. To my disappointment, even the colleague that I get along best with actually tried to make himself look good to our boss in a certain situation, which indirectly made me look bad. I have learned that ultimately he only cares about his own interest, and sacrifices me for that. Although he wouldn't purposely make me look bad for no reason (like some others do), I cannot fully trust him (or anyone else).



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10 Jan 2014, 7:19 pm

From a young age I had too much experience with broken homes, and it left me mistrustful of almost everyone, and completely against the idea of romantic love ever working out. I've never been in a romantic relationship, and at this juncture, I can't say for certain whether I ever will be. I have no interest in repeating my past.


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ASPartOfMe
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11 Jan 2014, 2:59 pm

Even before my diagnosis I have always known that most people have an advantage over me in "reading people". So I overcompensate. "Why do you always assume the worst about people" is a question I am frequently asked.


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ZombieBrideXD
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11 Jan 2014, 3:03 pm

Nice avatar, i had it for a while

anyways i trust people a little too much but i learned to be cautious of people. i dont know when im being manipulated, conned or tricked yet but im getting the hang of it.


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alpineglow
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11 Jan 2014, 3:48 pm

I have strict limits on how much to trust people. There are very few people in my life and that makes it simple.



babybird
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11 Jan 2014, 3:50 pm

I think it's a two way street with me.


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zer0netgain
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11 Jan 2014, 5:53 pm

I try to give everyone a measure of trust so I can function with them. It's easy for that trust to be lost, and to really have my trust, they must earn it.



loner1984
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12 Jan 2014, 10:28 pm

I don't trust anyone I have to sadly admit.



LtlPinkCoupe
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13 Jan 2014, 12:00 am

I certainly do find it difficult to trust people. I feel like people either forget about, replace, or turn on me after awhile, or I'll eventually do something (unintentionally) that will piss them off so bad that they'll leave me then.


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