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Opi
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06 Nov 2013, 12:20 pm

Here is my situation, and i am asking for any insight or ideas or feedback, because i'm having trouble staying out of meltdown and i just can't go there right now.

my lease is up 21st this. at first blush this is a bit of a 'yoo hoo' because i am free to go.

the tougher piece is my check doesn't come until the 20th, which means i have no way of buying a car/truck/SUV until then.

and then the problem is where to go from there, because i will have used what normally would have been my rent money to purchase the vehicle.

there is a women's shelter in flagstaff that may have a space for me whether i have a car or not, but, i've got a little - not much and i'm having a garage sale this weekend to sell as much as possible - but a few things i really don't want to leave behind, and they don't have space for all of it.

i think i probably should do this, if they have room, but i really don't want to bed with a bunch of strangers, i'm scared.

if i had a vehicle at least i'd have some way to run and i wouldn't have to lose everything necessarily (could leave some cookware, camping stuff in the car).

so i'm agonizing over not having control over whether i can find a car in time and whether it's the right move if i do and i'm just basically in one huge panic attack.

to improve things (god does have a sense of irony) my neighbor is having a keg party out in the yard in front of my unit, and the ex-bf may show up. and part of me was actually wanting to go out and drink a little and get out of my head. i guess i will have to wait and see whether he arrives at all. but if he does and my only refuge is ten feet away, it is going to suck enormously.

:cry: :cry:


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161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


MjrMajorMajor
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06 Nov 2013, 12:46 pm

:( Tough situation. I'd go with the shelter, if there's room available. It will suck being around other people, but the shelter will have access to a lot of resources to help you get back into a better situation. Just keep telling yourself it's only temporary. <hugs>



Opi
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06 Nov 2013, 2:19 pm

i could just buy a tent.


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161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


loosewheel
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06 Nov 2013, 3:40 pm

If you hire a van, truck or removalist for the initial move, and hire paid storage for the excess items you can't accommodate. The storage is obviously an ongoing expense but far less than rental accommodation. It will probably also need a deposit. I don't know whether you may need to borrow or put this on a credit card until you receive your check. But you save on buying the car, running the car and accommodation, if you use the shelter. This can give you some head space and take the pressure off while you plan your next move, and your financial situation. Of course, this all depends on how you think you'll cope at the shelter, but just a thought.



Opi
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06 Nov 2013, 7:02 pm

i was thinking camppervan..... not sure i f one will come in time; we had bought a mmimvvam but it needed a lot of work so i sold it.

EDIT basically the timing has to be perfect. the van had to fall into my lap the day before i have to move out. AND i have to be able to get to it.


_________________
161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


Last edited by Opi on 07 Nov 2013, 1:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

alpineglow
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06 Nov 2013, 9:50 pm

Opi PM me. I meant to say, if you want. It came out sounding like a command. :oops:



Mindsigh
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07 Nov 2013, 9:13 am

I think a campground sounds like an okay temporary idea. Is there a state park near you that has camping? It could be like a mini-vacation.


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Opi
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07 Nov 2013, 11:06 am

Mindsigh wrote:
I think a campground sounds like an okay temporary idea. Is there a state park near you that has camping? It could be like a mini-vacation.


that was me being bitter and feeling sorry for myself. aside from the fact that it gets well below freezing, i'm not exactly in shape to carry around a sixty pound backpack and walk - where?


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161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


Opi
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07 Nov 2013, 1:59 pm

loosewheel wrote:
If you hire a van, truck or removalist for the initial move, and hire paid storage for the excess items you can't accommodate. The storage is obviously an ongoing expense but far less than rental accommodation. It will probably also need a deposit. I don't know whether you may need to borrow or put this on a credit card until you receive your check. But you save on buying the car, running the car and accommodation, if you use the shelter. This can give you some head space and take the pressure off while you plan your next move, and your financial situation. Of course, this all depends on how you think you'll cope at the shelter, but just a thought.


i think that last you said is exactly the straw that's breaking my back. the first part - i appreciate the suggestions but i really don't have those kind of resources. the problem is they don't have shelters for crazy people like me who have panic attacks and can't sleep all night and need to stim. they have a lot of rules. i've worked in places like this and i know some are helpful but some are really rigid and i don't need rigid, i don't do well with rigid.


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161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


Mindsigh
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07 Nov 2013, 3:21 pm

I meant stay at a campground--one of the nice ones with bathhouses and showers and stuff. I didn't realize it got so cold where you are. I meant only for a few days, too, and not walking anywhere, just hanging out and enjoying the scenery. Are you completely without a vehicle and completely broke? If not totally broke, maybe try one of those extended stay hotels--I know somebody who stayed in one for a week when he moved out of state for a job.


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CharityFunDay
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07 Nov 2013, 5:19 pm

Problem: Nowhere to move to.

Reason: Proposes to spend possible sum (rent + desposit for new pad) on new vehicle,.

Solution: Don't buy vehicle, put the money down on a place of your own, which will be of immeasurably greater benefit and security to you

Problem: No way of moving stuff to (hypothetical) new place

Solution (Heurism): Bargain hard to get the best possible deal you can on a potential homes. Use the spare cash you save to rent a van for the day, to move your stuff in

Problem: I've got a home and have moved in such of my belongings as I wanted to keep, but now I don't have transport.

Solution: Well that was a choice you made. Meanwhile public transport still exists. If you want your own vehicle then (a) save up for one or (b) Inquire about gettjng credit from a dealer

Problem: I just feel that

Solution: Go away and be sensible about this. It's not the intractable mystery you seem to imagine

HTH



Opi
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08 Nov 2013, 4:32 am

i really appreciate the thoughtful analysis and you make some good points, however some information is missing that makes it less useful but i won't get into all that.

i do want to thank everyone who posted and pmd and talked with me and help me get emotionally stabilized and think through my situation a little longer.

i think i'm just going to try to get through the yard sale as best i can and be packing to go (whereever) next week.

then either i'll get lucky and a van/truck will drop into my lap on Weds, hopefully a van so i can drop a mattress in the back, what's left of my camping gear, and start heading toward a city where the rents are cheap and healthcare is more available. i can survive a month in a truck or van, longer if i have to to save money.

if that doesnt' happen, and i'm not counting on it, i'll go to the shelter in flagstaff, assuming they have room. if they don't, i might be able to talk my landlady into a few more days here, or even grab a motel 6 or something. the season is over so prices will be down. i just can't get into spending the small nestegg i have saved for the vehicle. if things don't work out at the shelter, and i am really worried they won't be able to handle my psych issues, at least it might buy me a week or two to be able to find those wheels.

Pueblo Colorado is the closest cheap city.

St Louis has a lot of resources and very cheap rents, but will take more gas money to get there. it's also kind of central so if i decide on someplace else, like maybe south carolina, it won't be such a haul.

these are my thoughts at this time.


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161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


alpineglow
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08 Nov 2013, 10:52 am

Glad to see your post Opi. Offer still stands.
:)



Opi
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08 Nov 2013, 4:22 pm

thanks all. today i cleaned up some of the appliances i hope to sell and just generally ended up cleaning a little and throwing out a whole bunch i don't know why i was hanging on to. some really painful reminders of the dreams i original came out here with. right now i would just settle for my brain to stop feeling like a rat in a cage. the woman who bought my rv is putting me through all these hoops about the bonded title she needs to get and i'm like about to just say LOOK FIGURE THIS s**t OUT I GOT YOU ALL THE FU CKING FORMS AND I AM UNDER PLENTY OF PRESSURE TOO I MEAN YOU *KNOW* I"M ABOUT TO BE HOMELESS RIGHT???????

i had to vent this.

there's a slight, slight chance i might be able to buy a 1987 Jeep Cherokee. I probably posted this already. the waiting is killing me. it would have nice symmetry since the truck my ex wrecked was a 1987 Jeep Comanche. both lifted, have 4wd, and this one has better rear axles. i want it so bad.

back and forth on the shelter thing. i will probably give it a go (i may not have a choice).

the amount of stress and pressure i feel right now is literally making my arms shake as i type.

i vary between crying and feeling really angry and just really depressed.


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161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks


alpineglow
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08 Nov 2013, 4:36 pm

Keep posting how it's going. I know that shaking thing. Are you eating good enough?



Opi
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08 Nov 2013, 5:48 pm

ugh, i have no appetite at all. i've been doing alright, at least cooking and getting protein in, but today a bowl of ramen noodles is all i handle. i am so dreading this moving sale. but in a wierd way it will feel lighter, i guess.

i also just got some good news about the jeep, he is willing to drive it up to me to let me test drive it, so that has to be a good sign.

i'm trying to stay positive (It may not sound like it because i post a lot of my pain here). i mean, the sun was out today all day, i'm finally getting out of williams one way or the other, i might get this jeep, my arms and limbs and insides work, i have food in the fridge, and i feel lonely but i am NOT alone because of WP.


_________________
161 Aspie / 51 NT - Aspie Quiz (very likely an aspie)
36 - AS Quotient
115 aloof, 123 rigid, 89 prag - Aut/BAP
24 - HSP / ADD Quiz- 41, Inattention: 24, Hyperactive/Impulsive: 17
"Odd and different is beautiful" -- Tyra Banks