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pensieve
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10 Nov 2013, 8:55 pm

I don't know if I want to be more social or less, I do know that sometimes I go through so much sh** that it's the last thing on my mind. I just can't switch off my problems and pretend everything's ok.
I'd be fine if I'm just left to be on my own but I feel a lot of pressure on me to be social by a person who has no problem. They do have their on social issues but they can't pick up on it.

Over the years I have tried to build up my social skills and for awhile on Ritalin I was ok, but then even it wasn't enough.

I just don't see the point in trying something when people talk as if they didn't hear what you said, only what they thought you said. How is that people constantly misunderstand what I say as if I mumbled he whole thing out? If they're not doing that then they're basically ignoring what you say or staring at you as if what you said was so lame. And even if they act as if they heard you they change the subject immediately.

I just think talking to people like this serves no practical purpose and isn't worth it, especially if I didn't want to socialise in the first place.

Or maybe I'm lucky. Maybe it's just one group of people I just can't get along with. And also my family. Not the few friends I've got that let me talk about my interests.

Is anyone else going through this? feeling like they're forced into socialising when they really don't want to. I could refuse to socialise but this person gets angry, manipulative and then brings up how much medical help I need. And I can't get out of the situation. I'm not able to live on my own.


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ASPartOfMe
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10 Nov 2013, 10:21 pm

I have had people telling me to be more social, trying to set up social "situations" for me, making "helpful" suggestions my entire life. Unless I really want or need to go the my answer is always the same a quiet but firm "NO".

In your case if you refuse the bully might get worse for a time, maybe a lot worse then hopefully bullyperson will get frustrated and give up. If it gets physical call the police. If it ends up with you have to leave your place of residence you have a lot of people here who have been through this type of thing to give advice. But these are the worse case scenarios. Bullies especially for us appear all powerful because they do know how to manipulate us but underneath that seemingly tough outer shell a lot of the time is insecurity and self loathing.


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Ann2011
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10 Nov 2013, 10:46 pm

pensieve wrote:
I just don't see the point in trying something when people talk as if they didn't hear what you said, only what they thought you said. How is that people constantly misunderstand what I say as if I mumbled he whole thing out? If they're not doing that then they're basically ignoring what you say or staring at you as if what you said was so lame. And even if they act as if they heard you they change the subject immediately.

I get this type of reaction too. Sometimes people react like I was making a joke, but I wasn't.

Quote:
I could refuse to socialise but this person gets angry, manipulative and then brings up how much medical help I need. And I can't get out of the situation. I'm not able to live on my own.

Why is this person so concerned with your social activities? Do they think you will magically start enjoying them? People just don't seem to get it - socializing is unpleasant.



pensieve
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10 Nov 2013, 11:17 pm

Because they are blinded by their own hypomania and natural bossiness.

I get told many of the things I say are 'cute.' I want to eat the cuteness and spit it out. It sounds like pity for my poor stupid brain. Not that I think my brain is stupid but they think there are some things that should be obvious to me. I even get frustrated and tell them when things aren't that obvious to me.

I hate this. I would rather die than go through it again.
Or I could just ignore it or something.


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Ann2011
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11 Nov 2013, 12:28 am

pensieve wrote:
I get told many of the things I say are 'cute.' I want to eat the cuteness and spit it out. It sounds like pity for my poor stupid brain. Not that I think my brain is stupid but they think there are some things that should be obvious to me. I even get frustrated and tell them when things aren't that obvious to me.

I get the wide eyed sympathetic/supportive response sometimes too. Very patronizing. Mostly I just shut up.