new and uncertain

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Hi everyone,

I am on the path to an AS diagnosis. At the end of high school I was diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety, but there was something missing and the more I know, the more I think it's AS.

I've been doing a lot of research in the past half a year, and I think AS makes far more sense than SA. I've always felt "different" from others, hated unfamiliar situations, gotten easily overwhelmed by my senses, and had problems interacting with others. The reason I don't think it's SA is that I don't get scared of being embarrassed; I feel like there's just something fundamental missing when I try to connect with others.

I've been talking to a bunch of people about it. Four mental health people think it makes sense, and so do my family and friends, and so do I. Today is the day that I finally got a referral to see a specialist later this month. Today is also the day that I got an account here, because I could really use some reassurance:

I'm dealing with a lot of self-doubt. I've been pretty good at covering my symptoms, but I feel a little weird because I'm in my 20s and this was never brought up before. Granted, my parents aren't very perceptive - even though I'd told them about my feelings, they didn't even realize I had depression until I ended up in the hospital. Also, gathering from what I've read, if you're female, getting a diagnosis can end up happening late because we can camouflage as NT better.

Anyways, I like animals (especially crocodiles and bugs), politics, and spooky things. I have a lizard named Beatrice of God. I'm a university student and when i finish I want to get a diploma in practical nursing. My favorite color is pink.

Hi ya and Welcome!

You know your own experiences and symptoms better than anyone else can - if you think AS is a better fit than Social Anxiety, then you're probably right.

When I was growing up, nobody had ever heard of Autism, much less Asperger Syndrome, but I was in my 20s the first time I saw a news story on TV about autistic kids and knew immediately that I had something in common with them, because I knew what they were experiencing just by watching them and at that time, even the doctors treating them were mostly clueless.

I was 45 before somebody suggested that I might have AS and led me to information on it, and suddenly the pieces all fell together. It was like somebody had compiled a psyche profile on me personally, the diagnostic criteria fit so perfectly.

So if you're convinced AS fits your experiences better than SA, it would be rather foolish for anyone to argue the point. You're the one living inside that head, you ought to know what you're feeling.

People have suggested SA to me as well! It doesn't fit, for exactly the same reasons! Sorry, I am a bit exited to have found someone who can understand that although I don't like to talk to people, it is not for fear of embarrassment, it is due to fundamental differences in... something!
My parents didn't know I was depressed, either, until I started coming home from school and sleeping until the next morning.
What kind of lizard do you have?
Oh, and Welcome!

I also assumed for years that my problems stemmed from social anxiety, but it never quite seemed to fit for the same reasons mentioned in this thread. Based on what I've read, real social anxiety comes across to me as irrational; if there is no reason for me to feel uncomfortable in a social setting (such as when I'm with a family member or close friend I have learned exactly how to relate to so there are no unknowns to navigate), I don't feel uncomfortable -- though I do usually still feel like I'm "acting normal" most of the time. With true SA, on the other hand, the anxiety seems to be related to a fear of embarrassing yourself or being judged by the other person, no matter who that other person is, and I don't think that makes sense to me. If I can think through a social situation in which I know exactly how the other person will behave and respond to me, I don't see any logical reason to be anxious. I don't feel I know enough yet to assess whether this is a fundamental difference between SA and AS or I'm just misinterpreting the concepts, but it makes sense to me.

Welcome! I hope you find this forum to be helpful.

For years, I figured I was just shy or had social anxiety, but it just didn't quite fit. Social anxiety, as I understand it, is fear or worry about how others will judge you. I'm not afraid of judgement in social situations as much as I don't really know what to say/do. I also have the issue where I'm fine with someone in one context (say, at work) and completely clueless as far as what to say in another (say, at a bar after work). So I can definitely relate to what you describe.

Thank you all so much for your welcomes and replies!
It makes me feel a lot better to know that there are other people in the same boat, and especially that you guys have some of the same thoughts on AS vs SA.
I guess I'll just wait and see how this diagnosis pans out, but it's so nice to know that I'm not alone.

Oh, and @ LAlien, he is a bearded dragon he's a very sweet baby. If I learn how to use technology, I shall post pictures!

Oh, Beardies are great. One of my big brothers has one named Genghis. I hope to have one when I grow up. You should definitely post pictures given the chance.