How to Find Intellectually Stimulating Types in Small Towns?

Page 1 of 2 [ 28 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

zacb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,158

16 Nov 2013, 12:10 am

I am seriously considering eventually moving abroad at this point if things don't change. I might try a different city just to make sure it is not me. But it is really frustrated. It reminds me of a title of an article "A Pestilence is Upon the Land" (or something to that effect) in Loompanics. Seems kinda fitting. That is the story of my life. I really hope I can get out of here soon. Either that, or find a Salsa instructor XD .



Thelibrarian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,948
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

16 Nov 2013, 7:32 am

zacb wrote:
Thelibrarian wrote:
zacb wrote:
This is something that is driving me nuts. I can't find one damned person I have something in common with. It seems like most the people are backwoods, and there is no intellectual capital where I live. I would move, but I am finishing up school. In the mean time I am applying for almost anything but cashier and fast food places (which seems to be the predominate jobs I see online). People say network, but with who? That is another issue though. I guess how do you find intellectually stimulating dates? I wish I had some money so I could at least go whore it up some place. IDK anymore. :( . So far I have adopted the whack a mole approach, but I never get past the first date. Any thoughts?


I live in a very rural area, so I understand your situation. I met my girlfriend at a conference in Austin, which is a few hours from where I live, but that was a chance happening. You might want to consider the Internet and look for somebody in the closest cities or college towns to increase your chances. It doesn't have to be a dating site; it can be a site where others share your interests.


I have looked into dating across borders, but until I have sufficient finances, I don't want things to fall through. So for now I am putting that off. But something to think about.


Wherever you look for a woman, you will have almost infinitely better luck if you have the means by which to support yourself, or at least are heading in that direction.

Good luck.



eric76
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,660
Location: In the heart of the dust bowl

18 Dec 2014, 1:03 am

eric76 wrote:
A woman I know who is a little younger than me, but not much, recently did get married for the first time. That really surprised me since she was still living with her mother after all these years.


I'm thinking that she didn't marry very well at all. My impression is that she is often stuck at home all day now. She always seemed rather neat and clean, but from what someone says, she now goes days between baths. Maybe she doesn't feel the need to bathe when she's not going anywhere.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Dec 2014, 3:21 am

eric76 wrote:
Quote:
How to Find Intellectually Stimulating Types in Small Towns?


Would you like to meet my niece?

Seriously, it is a real problem. In my area, for just about any woman who is between the ages of 25 and 55 and is single, there is generally a good reason to avoid them. That reason may not be readily apparent, but trust me, it's there.

There are exceptions. For example, there is an occasional good women who's husband died in an accident or from something like cancer. The best of them get snapped up pretty quick.


This again.

viewtopic.php?t=272611&start=15



Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,537
Location: Europe

18 Dec 2014, 7:56 am

I met a gifted, intellectual guy on tinder. To be honest I meet plenty of intellectual people each day and I live in a small city in the Netherlands. Perhaps it's because I am a student and I meet plenty of other intellectual students.



nerdygirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.

18 Dec 2014, 9:02 pm

I am assuming that you have tried regularly hanging out in the bookstore and the library, right?

Even in a small town with a pathetic library, the only people showing up there are usually the "intellectual type."



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Dec 2014, 9:20 pm

This is my experience:

Women in libraries and bookstores usually want to be left alone. They hate it when guys go up to them to talk. I used to try to go that route--that didn't succeed. Maybe it was because I was short? Who knows.

The best way to meet "intellectual" women, IMHO, is to go to lectures--especially on subjects you're interested in. Or go to poetry readings to read your stuff. In the old days, there were Chautauqua Societies, Elysium Clubs, etc---those were fine places to have "elevated discourse."



Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,537
Location: Europe

18 Dec 2014, 10:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
This is my experience:

Women in libraries and bookstores usually want to be left alone. They hate it when guys go up to them to talk. I used to try to go that route--that didn't succeed. Maybe it was because I was short? Who knows.

The best way to meet "intellectual" women, IMHO, is to go to lectures--especially on subjects you're interested in. Or go to poetry readings to read your stuff. In the old days, there were Chautauqua Societies, Elysium Clubs, etc---those were fine places to have "elevated discourse."


Jep.



FrankiDelano
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 408

19 Dec 2014, 8:24 pm

If there is one thing I've learned about finding some one who is intellectual, to ones own standards, it's that you can't judge people by the way look, or where they hang out. Honestly the best is way to just talk to people who spark even the slightest amount of interest in you at first glance (in the right situation). You may not meet the best people in the world, but it's how you meet a lot of good people.


_________________
Long days, pleasant nights.


BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,086

20 Dec 2014, 9:19 am

Is there a flower garden that needs volunteers?

This is a situation where you can talk and assess your compatibility.



Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 45,472
Location: Houston, Texas

20 Dec 2014, 10:29 pm

Simple: Tell them to quit being Christians.


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

Now proficient in ChatGPT!


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

20 Dec 2014, 11:21 pm

A friend of mine came to visit me for a few days so I took her to the local pub. Bam, she hooked up with an intellectual tradie who was having after work drinks there. Was pretty surprising I must say.

So um...the pub?



NerdGeekMom
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: NY

28 Dec 2014, 8:35 am

Dear OP, I feel you! In my undergrad program, I was miserable. I hung out with wannabe potheads with no aspirations. Since starting graduate school, I have befriended the others in my program. It's a really easy way to connect with people who have similar dream as you. And school is easy for most aspies, so we got to rock our extra time by having juicy conversations with the others.


_________________
I give piano lessons to non-verbal students. What's your superpower?