Feeling lonely thread

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Meh, I actually haven't been feeling terribly lonely as of lately, and am actually quite happy and content with myself.

Not really going to bother searching for a soulmate, because let's face it, that's not a very good tactic to use... I'll just let him find me, as cheesy as that sounds.

This thread still up? Lol
Honestly idk what to even feel anymore. The older I get the colder I get. Maybe it's the city? Idk. I am not certain where life is leading me. Is it hard for someone you like just to like you for who you are?
When I read and hear how sincere people are about being alone and lonely, I think those are the people who would give their all in a relationship. But they are always overlooked or not taken into consideration. Meanwhile you have people out there who are cheating and doing people wrong and they aren't fretting about loneliness at all.
Just makes you feel cheated and irrelevant in the date world.

Every night I lay by myself. Or by myself. Pizza, movie, games all alone. And in the days when I'm not busy I end up sitting in the house myself. I had to go to the library the other day just to read my book. I am only 24. I don't want to quit but Idk what to do. The crazy thing is that I had a GF before. But I just knew I wasn't the right one for her and eventually we would be very unhappy so I broke it off so no one would get hurt.

Only thing I haven't tried is paid dating services. But I have some days where I don't care about it all. But it's those times that get me. Especially Fridays and Saturdays. And I just feel so lame. Like it's something wrong with me...

I feel so lonely...

Please, stop telling me you care... instead of showing me.
But, please... Don't stop telling me... just because you think you're showing me...

Does anyone ever feel inunderstood by others?

I find this society so ugly. There is so much hostility and shortsightedness that it just gets my mood down. Appearantly people are very different on the internet than they are in real life. If always feel like no one understands me. No one really gets me, with all my ideas and opinions. And that's another reason that I am afraid that I will stay single for the rest of my life.

I know I am generally misunderstood. Only how I am not misunderstood is if I put on a mask. I live downtown. It has it's perks but honestly I cannot wait to move away from it. It's a constant reminder of how out of place I am; not being a bar/club person. I forced myself to go once. Afterwords I felt even worse.

I don't think I will ever find a person who just liked me for me--as a whole--like my ex GF. I think I'll forever be judged by what I don't have; money, car etc. I believe I am good looking. I love myself. But I know that I am not the most attractive when going places--I don't show that openly though.
I still have youth on my side. I still get mistaken for a teenager in high school still.

But seriously as I look at these posts I make, I go back and just say to myself how pathetic I must sound. Is it alright to feel how I feel? I am the only true man within the family I have. I'm not allowed to show emotion or crack-down; only allowed to go forward with an iron fist. I can't even remember the last time I actually...cried! Like probably YEARS ago. I was taught not to cry. Crying is stupid. It doesn't really solve anything. I seem to agree on that.

But sometimes I just want to barricade myself in my room to see if I can cry. It's not just the loneliness. It's many of other things too. Me not having a GF just makes it worse I guess.

I'm trying to keep myself busy lately. And still working on my meditations too.