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cavernio
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19 Nov 2013, 10:08 am

"It sounds hard but I am so upset about the problem that is all i can focus on. i have to persist until a solution is found, i cant just drop it..i have an obsessive streak that won't let me. I have to keep going on and on and on and on and on and on until I have found a resolution. I try to step away but once obsession has surfaced that is hard."

This is what's ultimately going to break you I think. :-(
You can't fix or solve problems for someone else, but that's what you're trying to do. Yes, you are the brunt of these nasty people's personalities, but the problem that they're giant asshats isn't something that you can control. Kudos to you for trying, but they've taken the lowest of the low ground and now are just having fun with you. They aren't good enough for your rage.

You can do cognitive behavioural therapy for obsessiveness that might be able to help. The Nature of Things (it's a Canadian show) had half an episode devoted to explaining it and how therapy can help people with OCD. (Of course, they really only looked at the compulsiveness of it, actions, so not the thoughts necessarily.) But you will also need to want to change. It's not going to work if you don't want to give up being obsessed about this. It's not the solution you want, I know. The solution you want, the solution that's just, the solution that's satisfying involves these people getting horribly hurt, but that will land you in jail. And talking about a social situation no one wants to be in, jail's right up there.

What about something like a restraining order? Do those exist for non-physical bullying?


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AdamAutistic
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19 Nov 2013, 11:40 am

the best way to deal with cyber bullying is to not respond.


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bumble
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19 Nov 2013, 2:18 pm

cavernio wrote:
"It sounds hard but I am so upset about the problem that is all i can focus on. i have to persist until a solution is found, i cant just drop it..i have an obsessive streak that won't let me. I have to keep going on and on and on and on and on and on until I have found a resolution. I try to step away but once obsession has surfaced that is hard."

This is what's ultimately going to break you I think. :-(
You can't fix or solve problems for someone else, but that's what you're trying to do. Yes, you are the brunt of these nasty people's personalities, but the problem that they're giant asshats isn't something that you can control. Kudos to you for trying, but they've taken the lowest of the low ground and now are just having fun with you. They aren't good enough for your rage.

You can do cognitive behavioural therapy for obsessiveness that might be able to help. The Nature of Things (it's a Canadian show) had half an episode devoted to explaining it and how therapy can help people with OCD. (Of course, they really only looked at the compulsiveness of it, actions, so not the thoughts necessarily.) But you will also need to want to change. It's not going to work if you don't want to give up being obsessed about this. It's not the solution you want, I know. The solution you want, the solution that's just, the solution that's satisfying involves these people getting horribly hurt, but that will land you in jail. And talking about a social situation no one wants to be in, jail's right up there.

What about something like a restraining order? Do those exist for non-physical bullying?


I wouldn't mind if they just disappeared from my world so I could focus on finding genuine people I like instead of messing me around with fake profiles that confuse me.

I really hate drama...hence my poor reaction to it.

I went out for a bus ride and am feeling calmer now. It sounds odd but I like the feeling of motion of the bus. I put my headphones on to shut out external noise and watch the scenery go by. It relaxes me.

I must have been one of those babies my parents took out in the car if I was upset.



cavernio
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19 Nov 2013, 5:04 pm

I had heard that the motion of a car somewhat feels like what it's like to be carried around in the womb. No idea how accurate that is.

I remember when I was at my worst depression-wise, I had a 20ish hour bus trip to go home for Christmas from university. Most people would cringe at that,It was heaven-no responsibilities, nothing I had to do, no one beside me on my seat, just sit there and enjoy the bus. I couldn't stand waiting FOR the bus though (had a stopover of a few hours along the way.)

People around here still go for 'Sunday drives' sometimes. I dunno if that's a rural thing that'll die with my parents' generation or not. My husband and I go on drives sometimes if one of us is too lazy/tired to walk (more often than not) and we want to get out.


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bumble
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19 Nov 2013, 5:10 pm

cavernio wrote:
I had heard that the motion of a car somewhat feels like what it's like to be carried around in the womb. No idea how accurate that is.

I remember when I was at my worst depression-wise, I had a 20ish hour bus trip to go home for Christmas from university. Most people would cringe at that,It was heaven-no responsibilities, nothing I had to do, no one beside me on my seat, just sit there and enjoy the bus. I couldn't stand waiting FOR the bus though (had a stopover of a few hours along the way.)

People around here still go for 'Sunday drives' sometimes. I dunno if that's a rural thing that'll die with my parents' generation or not. My husband and I go on drives sometimes if one of us is too lazy/tired to walk (more often than not) and we want to get out.


It is nice just to be able to sit quietly and take a break from things.

I hope Sunday drives don't die out. If I drove a car or knew anyone who did I would still go out on them. They are also nice if you stop at a nice country pub for lunch along the way.