My gf is upset and i am not sure why.

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So earlier this mourning I texted my aspie gf and woke her up. I didn't realize she was still asleep and she got really angry and upset at me. She has been upset all day long. can anyone help me understand why she got so upset at me? What effect does waking someone up with AS have on them?

Please Help

I doubt it's some kind of universal autistic response to being woken up, but maybe you screwed up her routine and threw off her entire day.

Or maybe she's really mad about something else.

Uhm. I don't think waking up someone with AS is any different than waking an NT up...

That's more a personality thing. Some people are going to be pissed about it, some aren't, some will be annoyed but get over it, some will think to themselves, "Arrrr! Why didn't I put the bloody phone on silent?!"

Probably had more to do with the irritating sound of the phone and her lack of sleep than you personally. Aspies are often night owls who stay up later than they should. Add to that the sensory hypersensitivity to sudden noises and it probably just jarred her awake when she really wasn't ready to be disturbed. Even the buzzing of a phone on silent can be irritating when you're trying to sleep.

I don't think that's an aspie specific thing. You probably just woke her up when she didn't want to be woke up. Just like anybody else.

I didn't mean that I thought people with AS are going to get angry at being woken up more often than NT's. I am concerned about the degree to which she was upset, and how long she has remained upset. most people who are angry when they are woken up would have gotten passed that by now. I saw her earlier today and she yelled at me, and then told me she wanted to be left alone.
I am just trying to figure out why she would be this upset about something like this?
she was definitely upset about being woken up this morning. She made that clear when she yelled at me.
She has never been this upset at me before.

Tell her to turn her phone off if she doesn't want to be woken.
What time was it? Was it at a time when you knew she'd normally be asleep, or not?

Maybe she couldn't/wouldn't go back to sleep after being woken up & thus upset as a result of being really tired & wanted to be left alone to sleep or rest.

Did you ask her if anything else was wrong? By now this is probably not about being woken up by a text but about something else. This something else could be:

a) related to you - as in you are doing other things wrong but she is using the text thing to be mad at you because she doesn't know how to tell you about the other stuff

b) related to something else in her life and she is
i) lashing out on everyone
ii) lashing out at you because you have failed to provide comfort and solace when and how she needed it
iii) lashing out on you because she wants to break up with you


Good luck figuring out which (and I've probably forgotten to include some possibilities).

No wonder so many of us are single when none of us can really tell what the other person is upset about.