Please review my FC story.

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(It is a story about a Sonic FC supervillain with the ability to change size at will.)

Grief's Big Day, Part One: Good Guy Grief?

Griefan Nathaniel Bradanska awoke from his slumber one morning in his giant sized racecar bed on Antii-Moebius. His alarm clock when off, and so Grief smashed it to pieces while groaning. While his eyes where dilating Grief's pet chao "Ozzy" flew over to him. Grief stared at his chao, which had grown to giant size as well mimicking his master.

"Good morning Ozzy." Said Griefan to his pet Chao while rubbing its head.

"Chao Chao." The Chao said. The chao had altered its form in the past to mimic Grief. It had a sinister smile on and its color scheme was purple, black, and green.

Grief looked around the room. He made sure that Ozzy had enough water and food to eat. Then he got up and put on his socks, shoes, bracelets, and made sure his hair was right. After that he put on his giant book bag and went out the door.

"See you later Ozzy, I might bring you back a toy later." Grief said as he exited and closed the door.

Grief went outside and walked out the door while using his powers to change size to about 15 meters/50ft tall. He stomped a path away from the city of Siag as he did not want to cause trouble on his own planet's cities. He walked over to where the Federation kept its portal array's and shrunk down to the normal size of a Moebian child and sneaks onto the facility.

"Lets see, which portal was it again?" Grief looked around.He then saw one where some AMA soldiers and came out with a GUN soldier.

"Ha ha! Bingo!" He said.

Grief then grew to about 12ft/3.6576 meters and ran towards the portal. Grief was slow, but he knew the soldiers would not stop him.

"Hey kid stop!" Shouted one of the troopers.

"NA NA NA NA!" Grief said as he went past him and jumped into the portal.

A portal opened up outside an GUN city and Grief jumped out. Grief stared around at the city from afar. He could not wait to have his fun and wasted little time moving towards the city.

"Oh boy! I am going to have so much fun today!" Grief let out as he laughed manically.

Grief grew back to his favorite size as he stomped towards the city, while trying to avoid stepping on trees and anything of nature. With each step he took the earth shook and his giant shoes made a loud boom, as well as left a giant shoe print in the dirt.

People could hear the tremor of his feet and saw him heading towards them in the distance. Many people got out of their cars and started to flee. Others stared as they where shocked and stunned by the unbelievable sight they where witnessing.

Grief entered the city limits, he pushed down a wall built to protect the city and walked in. His shadow was cast over the people fleeing. They gazed up at his sinister grin on his face and many where screaming and running for their lives.

"Heh, I always love it when they run away." Grief said as he stomped down on the street.

Grief watched as the people fled in terror. He roared just to mess with them.

Grief then proceeded to advance. He used his tail to knock over a building. The building fell on the street and shattered leaving a pile of dust.

"Opps." Grief said as he snickered.

Soon Grief heard police sirens from police cars and he could see the cars speeding towards him. To Grief they where toy sized, and very fragile.

"These losers again, you think they would know not to mess with the giant fox boy." Grief said in a mockingly manner.

The police cars stopped and they set up a blockade. The police men and SWAT teams got onto the hoods of their cars and aimed at Grief. Grief stared down at them and thought to himself "I am in a good mood today."

The police and SWAT members opened up on Grief with every gun they could muster. Grief started to advance as the bullets would do little to him. He stomped towards the police men , with each step the police had trouble keeping aim as he would make the cars jumped up and down. Grief got right over them and lifted up his leg. The police started to prey as they knew Grief had a reputation of making "police pancakes" out of officers.

Instead Grief just lifted his giant leg over the blockade and stepped down on the other side, sparring the policemen. Then Grief turned his face around, stuck out his tongue mockingly, and slapped his rear end in a tauntingly way.

The policemen and Swat teams continued to fire their weaponry at the giant sized fox child. They fired at his back, his legs, his tail, and even at his hind quarters, but without a clear shot at his ears or his eyes they where powerless to stop him. All they could do is sit and watch as Grief walked away while laughing and knocking buildings over.

Grief then proceeded to walk towards an intersection. He stepped over the traffic lights and placed his giant feet in the middle of rush hour.

"Lets see how many cars crash into me today." Grief said as he grinned and look down.

A car that was going past the speed limit came rushing down the street. It was carrying two escaped convicts who where going to be on death row, but escaped jail, and where fleeing from the police. While one gunman fired at the police cars pursuing behind , another drove like a madman not caring who got injured. The police car was forced to stay back as it needed to call for backup. The convicts thought they got away and started laughing. Then they turned their head's around from watching to police cars behind them and saw Grief's gigantic sneaker.

The two convicts screamed and tried to put on the breaks, but it was too late, they collided with Grief's giant sneaker and both died. Grief leaned over and looked at the car that was totaled from the impact of his gigantic shoe. Fortunately the pursuing police car was able to put on its breaks way before it got near Grief and was able to avoid from being spotted by the giant child.

"Heh heh. That is one..." Grief said as he chuckled and watched it burn.

On the other side of the highway a truck driver carrying fuel was heading towards the intersection. The driver had gone insane from his wife divorcing him and leaving him with nothing. He got so enraged that after getting in his truck while he was being yelled by his boss, he took the truck and decided to go out with a bang by ramming it into a nearby school.

The mad trucker went faster and faster while laughing insanely, he hated the world and wanted to give it the finger before dying. He sped towards the intersection over the speed limit as well, but what he did not count on was Grief being there. By the time the mad driver could put on the brakes it was too late. The diesel truck collided with Grief's shoe instantly killing the driver and causing the fuel tank to explode at Grief's foot.

"OWWWWWWW!! !!" Grief said as he instinctively lifted up his leg.

Grief then began hopping on one foot in pain, each hop making the ground tremor. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" Grief said while biting his tongue and trying to bear the pain. A nearby fire truck had gotten an distress call that a residential building had caught fire. The fire team was quickly dispatched to rescue the innocents caught up in the tragedy.

The fire truck sped down the road putting on its sirens, which Grief did not notice as he was in too much pain. The truck went past his leg and got out of distance before he put it down again and was the pain stopped. Grief watched the fire truck that whizzed avoided him.

"Hey!" Grief said as he stomped trying to chase the truck.

"Get back here you! " Grief said as he chased it.

Grief then was able to get to the scene of the disaster. A building was on fire and the fire men could not keep the water on long enough to put it out. Grief was about to grab and crush the fire truck when he heard the voice of a little boy with his giant fox ears.

"Help! Mommy! " Said the boy trapped in the inferno. Grief could not stand the thought of a little child getting hurt so he went over to the building and started to blow out the fire. He reached his gigantic hand after he blew out some of the flames and picked out the child, then he put him safely on the ground.

"You ok?" Said Grief.

The child started to cry...

"Mommy was in the bed...She told me not to play with the power outlet, but I did not listen!!" The child said as he started to cry.

"Rats!" Grief said as he then proceeded to blow out the flames and lift the roof off the building. He could see the mother who went unconscious, and he picked her out of the building just before the heater next to her went off. Grief then proceeded to put her down next to an ambulance team. They then put her on a stretcher and the boy was given medical attention.

The firemen and doctors cheered for Griefan after he did this.

"Thank you giant monster, you saved those peoples lives!" Said one fire fighters.

"No I didn't..." Grief replied trying not to feel heroic.

" I just wanted to tear the roof off the building...Also I wanted to do this." Grief said as he leaned down and pinched one of the tires of a nearby police car making the tire go flat. Then Grief walked off trying to stay away from all the positive attention he was getting.


Grief's Big Day Part 2 : Grief's Big Idea.

Grief tried to get as far away from the firemen and victims of that past incident as much as possible. He hated the feeling that he just had. At first he felt a warm fuzzy feeling that made him feel good about doing something noble for a change, however he knew that he would be filed with guilt about all the innocents he harmed just before hand.

"If those people liked me so much maybe they should make me..." Grief just then had an idea, a wonderfully, awful idea.

"Why destroy a city, when you can have a city?" Grief thought as he smiled fiendishly and laughed.

Grief looked around the city. He scanned the area to find any building that looked as if it had any administrative value.

"I wish the humans made their cities like ours, with a big fortress in the middle to show where all the important things go on." Grief said while he sighed and looked around.

"Hm..I think the humans call it a mayors office. Perhaps if I capture this Mayor, they will bow down to me?" Grief thought to himself with his trademark evil grin on his face.

"But first...Where is this mayors office?" Grief said as he tried to look around.

Soon Grief decided to shrink down to normal and go in a store to ask for directions. Grief went up to a cashier who was hiding behind a desk after he saw Grief's gigantic sneakers outside.

"Excuse me. Do you know where the mayors office is?" Grief asked, remembering what his father said about manners and how to ask for things. The cashier screamed and ran out the door.

"Gee, the service here stinks." Grief said.

After eating some of the candy in the store Grief stumbled upon a travel brochure. He took it and read it. He then memorized the brochure and put it in his backpack as he walked out of the store.

"Ah ha! Thata way!" Grief said as he pointed and turned giant again.

Grief then proceeded to heads towards the direction that he saw on the map. Along the way Grief crushed cars under his giant sneakers as he stomped. All of the vehicles where abandoned after their drivers got out and fled. Grief loved to crush cars, to him it was comparable to crushing leaves in the middle of Fall time.

As Grief advanced he would punched, swiped at, kicked at, or pushed over any buildings surrounding him. Grief spared no structure in his path. Occasionally however, Grief would find a really nice car on the ground. He would then proceed to pick it up gently and put it in his giant book bag designed by his father's best team of scientists to have the ability to grow with him. Grief always loved cars, even though he could never be able to ride in one due to his weight.

As Grief stomped deeper down town a battalion of tanks approached Grief to attack him. One of the tanks fired a round and hit Griefan in the leg. Grief felt a sharp sting, but then he picked up a building to use as an makeshift shield. The tanks fired at him repeatably, but he blocked his body with the building while advancing. As they fired more and more the building started to take damage, fortunately for Grief he closed enough distance to attack.

"Hm...Perhaps things would go smoothly if I didn't kill these guys." Grief thought in his head.

So instead of crushing the tanks, he nudged them over with his foot until they were unable to fire at him. Then he dropped the building nearby and picked up each tank one by one. He ripped off the main turrets of each tank, and dropped them on the ground so they could not use their main guns at him. After that he laughed and went past the disabled tanks while the tank crews were helpless against him now.

"Later losers." Grief said as he stomped off.

Grief continued his destructive stroll through the city . At long last he could see the City Hall in the distance.

"There you are." Grief said to himself out loud.

Grief took another step and the something hit him from behind. Grief turned around and saw that an GUN AH-64 Apache had fired its Hellfire missile at his back. Grief was in pain, but even more so he was angry. He swatted at the helicopter and it dodged Grief's massive hand.Grief swatted at it again, but the helicopter dodged and moved into his face by flying just after he moved his arms. The helicopter then got up to his face after Grief moved his hands down. The pilot knew Grief's weakness was his ability to move his giant hands to react do to his weight and size.

"Any last words monster?" The pilot said on a speaker.

"Just this." Grief said as he hawked a loogie on the flight deck of the helicopter.

The pilot stunned by not only the amount of Grief's saliva hindering his view, but also at Grief coming up with such a childish move. The pilot tried to get his missiles to lock on, but some saliva was launched onto the missiles and its heat from being in Grief's mouth distorted the lock on time.

Grief however wasted no time grabbing onto the landing gear and turning the whole helicopter around to where it was facing the opposite direction of Grief's face. The pilot was able to clear the window with the windshield wipers on the craft, but it was too late, he could not fire the missiles facing away from Grief and the chain gun was virtually useless.

The pilot tried to move the Apache away from Grief's grasp, but Grief carefully used his giant fingers to break off the tail of the helicopter and jabbed it into the top blades making it stop. Then pulled off the top blade with his teeth and spit it out.

"You lose." Grief said as he moved the helpless disabled helicopter to stare at his face again.

Grief opened the canopy and he could see the pilots expression of terror and fear. Grief took the pilot out, snapping the seat belts like they where nothing. Then Grief crumpled up the helicopter in his one hand and showed it to the pilot who trembled in fear in Grief's other hand. Then the crumpled up husk and tossed it away.

Grief then put the pilot on a nearby building and used his powers of self magnification to bigger and scare the pilot. The pilot was in so much shock that he passed out in fear.

"Heh, what a baby." Grief said as he walked away leaving the pilot unconscious, but unharmed.
Grief's Big Day Part 3: Grief For Mayor or Die!

Grief was nearing the City Hall, with each giant step he could see the hall get smaller and smaller. The people who were not fortunate enough to evacuate in time hid in the shops under the desks and out of sight. The poor citizens in hiding could feel the ground tremor and the booming of his steps as he got closer and closer, when he got near glass would break and objects on the shelves would fall. It was as if they where in an controlled earthquake.

"Honey...What is happening" one teenager said to her boyfriend.

"I do not know...Something about a monster..." The male said while whispering.

Suddenly Grief's massive shoe went down just outside the shop and the windows cracked in the shop. The couple could not believe what they where witnessing. They have seen and heard about Mobians and Moebian on tv, but never could they have imagined the sight of one this big. The mere size of Grief's shoes was astonishing and frightening without having to even move. Eventually Grief's legs moved to where they where not seen and after a minute the couple could not feel any more tremors.

"I...I think he is gone honey..." Said the woman.

"Yeah...." Said the man.

"Just to be clear I will go check, you stay here." Said the male The teenage male got out from hiding and crept closer to the side of the window in the shop.The female however ignored her boyfriends wishes and got out of hiding.

"I think he is gone..." The male whispered.

Suddenly Grief's gigantic face moved down outside the window. The male could see the gigantic face of Grief staring at him in amusement.

"Boo." Said Grief.

The male teenager then went into shock and passed out. His girlfriend started to scream in terror.

"Heh heh...You guys are a cute couple by the way." Grief said overhearing them speaking with his gigantic fox ears.

Grief stood back up again after crouching for a minute. Then he stomped away trying to keep on his goal to reach City Hall. Grief knew more and more people where hiding in the local shops, but he also wanted to spare them all to make them his citizens once he became mayor.

"Once I rule all these humans, then my daddy will see I am the better child. He might even make me a general!" Grief said not knowing that the city is not an AMA target.

Grief stomped closer and closer to his objective. His height allowed him an excellent view of the city, if not looking like a toy town. Grief could see the humans fortifying their positions with their ground forces.

The city did not have allot of tanks as they never where near any major combat zone or perhaps they sent them all to fight elsewhere. Instead they had many soldiers armed with guns and grenade launchers.

"Its time to play with the little army men." Grief said so loudly that the defenders could hear him and their morale dropped.

When Grief got in range the captain of the defense force ordered the soldiers to open fire on the gigantic sized fox boy. They fired all kinds of bullets and grenades at him. yet the most of what this was doing is making Grief ticklish and giggle, which would be cute admittedly if he was not on a path of destruction.

"Ha ha! Hey quit it with the grenade launchers you guys!" Grief said smiling as the grenades hit his tickle spots.

Grief finally stopped laughing and he then bent over to where his face was above the soldiers. His evil grin was pouring fear into them so bad they could not take it in themselves to aim and fire at his eyes.

"Now it is my turn!" Grief said as he then exhaled a huge gust of breath from his mouth.

The force was so strong that it knocked most of the soldiers over, except for the captain. Grief then moved his giant hand down and flicking his fingers at the captain. The captain was hit with a mighty force, it was as if he was hit by a car. The captain was flung back and he hit the wall of the City Hall and then the soldier fell down and passed out.

The captain was hit with a mighty force, it was as if he was hit by a car. The captain was flung back and he hit the wall of the City Hall. Some of the soldiers started to get back up from their fall due to Griefs blast of air, so Grief then gently swiped through them with the backside of his hand knocking them all down again.

"Stay outa my way or else!" Grief let out.

After watching them not get back up, Grief just stood up and walked over them as he did with the police men earlier. He then walked right next to the City Hall and he lifted up the roof off of the building with his giant strengh.

"Where is the mayor?" Grief asked the staff as everyone was wearing formal attire and Grief could not tell who was who.

"Humans are so strange, they dress like penguins when they are important." Grief thought in his head about the human males in the building.

Some of the security guards started shooting at Grief, but he just nudged them over with his giant fingers. They were using pistols and not aiming at his eyes, so they could not harm him.

"Please...I just tore through an army." Grief said mocking them.

"Now where is the mayor?" Grief said in an threatening tone.

The staff all pointed to an office. Grief could see the office from an birds eye view as he lift off the offices roof, yet Grief still could not see the mayor. So Grief decided to search around for him in that room. He moved things like a child would if they had a doll house or play set for boys. Grief lifted up the office desk and sure enough the mayor was cowering under it.

"HA! Gotcha!" Grief said as he lowered his hand and picked up the mayor.

Grief lifted up the mayor to his face with his hand firmly around the mayors body so he could not escape. Then Grief let the roof go with a loud thud. Next Grief sat down on the garden.

"So...How do I become mayor?" Grief asked curiously.

"What?" Said the mayor.

"I want to become mayor...How do I do that?" Asked Griefan curiously.

"That..Is my job..." said the mayor.

"Not anymore...I am taking over now." Grief said.

"But....You can't!" said the mayor.

"Oh? Why can't I?" Asked Grief agitated.

"Because, you have to get elected first." explained the mayor.

"Elected? What the heck is that?" Asked Grief.

" In our city you have to get people to vote for you to become mayor.." Said the current mayor.

Grief thought about what they mayor said for a minute.

"That is strange. On our planet people come to power by someone else dying." Grief thought.

"If people vote for me it will prove I am the best mayor there is! Nothing like having people who will love me no matter how many things I break!" Grief contemplated in his mind.

"So how do I get people to elect me?" Griefan asked the terrified mayor "You have to participate in an election against other candidates." Replied the nervous mayor.

"Ok? So where are those guys?" Asked Grief (To be Continued.)

Legend:

Chao: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q= ... 8011,d.cWc

GUN: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q= ... 8011,d.cWc

Anti-Moebius: http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Anti-Mobius

Siag and the Anti Moebian Federation I came up with.

I can't review this. What the hell is going on?

Its a story about my character Griefan, a nine year old supervillain with the power to change size to become a super powerful giant,(which I am well aware breaks the Square Cube Law.) Anyways, Griefan always has a bad day and gets beaten up by the heroes, so I thought I would make a story just about him without any heroic intervention.

OK, it makes more sense now.
I spotted 5 or six minor typos. Also, I think you over-use the "Grief said" phrase. I know its hard to avoid using it, but usually its fairly obvious who is talking.