why do so many aspie struggle with women

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YourMajesty
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01 Dec 2013, 5:39 am

I don't like most women I know myself because they care so much about shoes or good looking male models and such. I can't really relate to their 'world'.



starenczak
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01 Dec 2013, 4:59 pm

Perhaps we struggle because most interactions are unscripted and you may not know what to say.

I struggle with the majority of women but recognise the connections with the minority of women I can get on with and jump in as quickly as is appropriate :oops:



TheZachadoodle
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11 Dec 2013, 11:30 pm

Well to me the reason why is because I'm so socially disordered. I do have three female best friends (just friends), but that is because I could relate to them in some way. They were girlfriends and friends to my male best friends. To me it isn't so much about making friends, but rather starting a romantic relationship. Which I believe is what both aspie sexes have problems with. Starting a friendly relationship just means treating them the same way you do as your same sex's friends. The difference between this and romantic relationships, is that in romantic relationships you have to be the first one to climb the mountain before the other members of your sex do.

Aspies got being heroic, nice, smart, and intelligent down, but the main ones: flirting, joking, and independence. Are difficult for some strange reason I don't know and wish to fix.



BrandonSP
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12 Dec 2013, 12:16 am

Maybe I haven't paid enough attention to it, but I can't say I tend to get along better with one sex over the other. Both men and women have tended to give me a hard time in the social sphere. Women can hurt my feelings if they perceive me as creepy, but on the other hand I find the insensitive tendencies of other males offensive in their own way. I guess I am uncomfortable with men and women equally.


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thewhitrbbit
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12 Dec 2013, 9:43 am

Female communication is much more subtle than male. and often relies on non-verbal than verbal.

These are traditionally aspects of communication aspies struggle with.



muslimmetalhead
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12 Dec 2013, 12:00 pm

Idk maybe I just don't got no game...or grammar lol


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Bomir
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12 Dec 2013, 1:51 pm

Between my Asperger's and the way my parents raised me its the perfect storm of not getting along with women. Both my father and mother always taught me to never let a woman feel entitled to be out-of-control emotionally just because she's a woman. If a woman gives you warning that she might be a bit off that day due to certain reasons and just bear with her as she gets through, she's in the clear. However, if she comes to say work and is in a bitchy attitude and you're just all going to have to deal then lay it flat out that you refuse to tolerate her. I have a couple female friends that I get along with because they are like the former but the vast majority of women will tell me that because I demand a good reason for how they are acting I make them ashamed of the way they feel.



thewhitrbbit
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12 Dec 2013, 2:12 pm

knowbody15 wrote:
Because we tend to "think" too much and not "do" enough. Maybe?


This is true too; and the thinking may come to the wrong conclusions.



Aspie19828
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13 Dec 2013, 8:50 am

People with Aspergers usually show little or no emotion and they struggle to read and understand body language. Avoiding eye contact does not help.



WaraFujiAng
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16 Dec 2013, 6:28 am

Most of the boys I knew were too blunt and aggressive and around junior high I couldn't get along with girly girls. They were too sensitive, moody, dishonest and passive. They never mean what they say. Tomboys and the more studious girls were ok though. That being said, I'm guilty of many of the negative traits mentioned above and I apologize for acting that way. I copied the bad behavior I'd seen over the years thinking it was normal for girls to behave that way, but recently I've had to deal with those types and I can only bear them for an hour or so where I just nod my head and agree with everything they say just like an obedient husband would.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Dec 2013, 6:47 am

Because we suck.



Roninninja
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16 Dec 2013, 7:54 pm

Because women are much more emotional, and tend to make decisions based on what they are feeling rather than logic.



Cash__
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16 Dec 2013, 8:34 pm

I find it much easier to speak with women then with other men. I don't understand the whole male machismo thing at all.

Well maybe I should say women seem more willing to put up with me.



KingofKaboom
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16 Dec 2013, 10:12 pm

They are fun to talk to for me as well. I've always had a much easier time being friends with women in general. I have trouble being friends with women I find attractive right away. I just need to get out more and try to stop over thinking it. Alot of what goes wrong for me is worrying about misunderstanding someone and trying to read into it. Trying to MAKE it make sense. The only solution I've found is if I'm uncertain and can form a coherent question I ask them. Still working on me alot I have a lot to improve on myself before I can be a healthy enough person to be in a relationship.


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TheGoggles
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17 Dec 2013, 2:18 am

Because the demand for a relationship with a woman is higher than the supply. Therefore, the more NT or otherwise attractive you are, the better your odds. And since we tend to have plenty of qualities that society frowns upon, well, there's no demand for our supply.



Redstar2613
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17 Dec 2013, 3:06 am

Well, it's a common thing for men to have problems understanding women anyway, so of course it's going to be even harder for us, since we have problems understanding anyone, regardless of gender.