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binaryodes
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24 Nov 2013, 7:00 pm

How many of you pine for human contact? Are you generally satisfied with your own company or do you need to be surrounded by adoring friends/fans to feel happy? Most importantly if youve had loneliness inflicted upon you how have you learnt to adapt?



ASPartOfMe
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24 Nov 2013, 7:19 pm

I am generally satisfied with my own company. I When I do need contact I have have adopted by using Internet forums that cater to my interests.


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Rigor
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24 Nov 2013, 7:28 pm

The less aware I am of the existence of other people, the happier I am.



pete1061
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24 Nov 2013, 8:41 pm

I don't think I have ever really had to adapt. I've always been somewhat of a loner.
The times where there we're more people in my life, I've found it to be somewhat of a burden and difficult to adapt to.

Isolation is my natural state.


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BirdInFlight
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24 Nov 2013, 8:44 pm

I'm very satisfied with my own company, but I've gone through phases in my life when I was very lonely for the kind of circle of good friends that I saw most people in the world enjoying, and I was also lonely for a life partner for many years. I did go through a spell of having lots of friends when I was actively involved in something that brought that about, and I did enjoy all that for a while, but that was when I coped better with my traits and challenges. I cope less well, in some ways, as I get older.

Now that I'm 52, been through a divorce and additional painful and ultimately disastrous failed relationships, I'm caring less and less about finding a special someone to share life with. It would be nice, don't get me wrong, but the hassle of even finding the right person, and then the hassle that all relationships actually are, is not worth giving up my freedom and autonomy.

Same goes for a circle of friends. I no longer want or welcome the demand on my time that this would cause.

.



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24 Nov 2013, 9:11 pm

Brilliantly.
It's a lack of isolation that's the hard thing to adapt to.


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ASPartOfMe
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24 Nov 2013, 9:51 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Brilliantly.
It's a lack of isolation that's the hard thing to adapt to.


This is what most of those studying, researching, and trying to fix us can never understand. This is the main flaw in their research modal that causes them failure and frustration.


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pokerface
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25 Nov 2013, 11:54 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Brilliantly.
It's a lack of isolation that's the hard thing to adapt to.


Exactly!



Marky9
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25 Nov 2013, 2:59 pm

I do not pine for the company of others. In earlier years I sometimes enjoyed the company of others, but I am 59 now and, as I progress into Elderhood, I find that I enjoy my company more and that of others less.

I am quite content with exchanging pleasantries with store clerks during my weekly shopping, and nodding hello to people I may pass on the street. Otherwise, participating in online activities like WrongPlanet fulfill me quite nicely.



saxifraga
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25 Nov 2013, 3:34 pm

my isolation has always been by design keeping me as isolated as possible yet still having to function in a world with other people. The best job i ever had was hauling haz-mat cross country in a tanker truck. I communicated w/ dispatch via a satellite computer, diesel fuel paid for at the pumps via fuel cards, i had a little fridge and microwave for food, i could go days at a time if i so chose without having to speak to a single soul. Not uncommon either for spurts of several hours at a time driving with only the sound of the diesel turbo keeping me company. I was single and enjoyed it so my boss was thrilled. I'd stay out two or three months at a time.

that being said, there were times i wanted interaction and i have no problem talking to people when i want to. actually i enjoy it really its the having to listen to them respond i cant stand. now that we have text messages and emails, makes it a lot easier. i can comfortably interact with the whole world if i want to yet still safe in my bubble of solitude.



michaelhart22
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25 Nov 2013, 8:22 pm

you people are nuts i hate it. dont have any friends. goin crazy alone. makes me suicidaly depressed.



saxifraga
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25 Nov 2013, 9:20 pm

michaelhart22 wrote:
you people are nuts i hate it. dont have any friends. goin crazy alone. makes me suicidaly depressed.


You have friends here, WP that is, never alone. While not the same thing exactly it is better than nothing which for us older folks is a lot more than we ever had. People here are here for you if need be, just reach out and youll find a hand. I think not being alone is overrated anyway, most NTs are jerks. It did really upset me when i was younger, for years the only prayer I ever prayed was that I'd not wake up the next day. I hated the fact my social circle consisted of pretty much me and whatever pet i owned at the time. I had the occasional relationship come and go, some friends came and went as well, but at the end of it all was pretty much just me. Took me a lot of years to get to that point but I got to where I was cool with it. Once I got to where i didnt give a damn it got a lot better. That sounds simplistic I know but its the truth. I have 2 friends now, been friends for decades. We can go a year or two at a pop without face to face time but its all good. Figure out how to be okay in your own skin and things will be fine.

One of the two guys I just mentioned, gave an awesome toast at my wedding. So simple, so deep, so true.
"Ignore the unimportant sh*t, it just doesnt matter"



binaryodes
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25 Nov 2013, 11:19 pm

michaelhart22 wrote:
you people are nuts i hate it. dont have any friends. goin crazy alone. makes me suicidaly depressed.


I had the same reaction but to feelings of ugliness. For around a decade I was convinced that I was so hideously ugly that I couldnt possible lead a happy fulfilling life. This lead me to conclude that suicide was my only option. Eventually with each day I started to care less and less and less until nowadays I rarely think about my appearance at all and in fact regularly go out unshaven and in mismatched tatty old clothes. I must add that I am actually fairly unpleasant in the looks department but ive come to quite enjoy returning disgusted looks with cheeky grins. Its their problem not mine.

I was convinced for that decade that id never* get over it - I cant impress that upon you enough. I put my entire life on hold because of this and it consumed me, became an obsession. What im trying to say is that you will eventually discover that your moments of greatest joy insight and happiness are found alone. I know I have.



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26 Nov 2013, 3:36 am

very well not wasting my time trying to make myself lovable for some ones benefit allows me to use my time more productively , like cut my toe nails. :roll:


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la832
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06 Dec 2013, 1:36 pm

I feel I have been alone all of my life, but have longed for companionship (even when married).

I have had a fantasy (I guess that what you would call it) of being the last person in the world. I can remember thinking this when I was 5 years old. I would think about what I would do to survive (seriously!). I still think about this once in a while. This thought has always been with me.

I only like being along when I am around people too much. But, this hasn't happened in a while. I do not go anywhere or speak to anyone during the week. I can actually go to work and not speak to a single person.

No, I really do not like being alone.



CapricusOmega
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08 Dec 2013, 5:51 am

Recently my husband was gone for a month for work. He made me promise I would get out of the house and do more than grocery shop while he was gone. While I did go to one social function, I was delighted to stay home and not have to go anywhere or do anything because my husband wanted to get out of the house. I loved being a hermit. It was really nice to have time to myself and be alone. Internally I am saddened by the fact that I don't have any friends and cannot seem to maintain any friendships outside of my husband's. It would be nice to have a few girlfriends to go out with on occasion or just to talk to, but people just seem to be so cruel to each other and I don't like it. I am also baffled by the amount of gossip that surrounds female interactions and have no patience for it.