Do Neurotypicals Understand Aspies? Do They Care?

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I have a big question that I want to get off of my chest, and I thought that this would be the safest place to ask it: do neurotypicals care about people with Asperger's and autism? It seems like the world ignores people like myself who have the condition, and it seems like they don't want to care about us because they don't have it or understand it. Every time I see a neurotypical, I get so jealous and unhappy with myself because I'm not like them. I always wonder if I'm human enough for people in this world. I want to tell people that I'm human too, and that I shouldn't have to blend in with society, but I'm always forced into using my social skills and blending in. And that's another word I hate: "social skills." I hate using them, because they make me like everyone else, and I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to be me. A girl who sees the world a little differently than other people. I want to be free from all the social pressure, and I want to live a different life. I want to see the world my own way, meet inspirational people like my favorite singer, Josh Groban, and live a life with no more fear of being different. I always ask myself if it's my fault that I'm an Aspie, or the universes' fault. And I'm afraid of having babies because I don't want my babies to go through the same pain I go through every day. I want to ask a neurotypical this question: What has an Aspie or an autistic person done to ever hurt you or make you feel out of place? I need an answer to this question, because I'm having trouble answering this myself. I know all of you are part of a supportive community, so can you help me answer my question? You guys rock!

Your question includes a generalization or three upon neurotypicals, but I think that the word "typical" has connotations of uncaring or ambivalence when applied to people. The less typical among NTs are some of the most accepting, inclusive and loving people I've ever met. I can't say I really know anything about the most typical of NTs, or even if they exist. Since I learned where it can take me, I've formed a sort of ad-hoc brain trust of close friends doing interesting things, I'm firm in my belief that the separation between disciplines and acquaintances is all in everyone's heads. I think meeting inspirational people isn't so much a 'glass celing' scenario, as with celebrities, because particularly in the context of music, whenever I think I've found the end-all-be-all of a particular genre, I pick up some shiny new audio gear and start exploring again. As a coder, I run into informative people everywhere I go, partially because I've learned pieces of their vernacular.

Being aspies, for us is a no fault scenario because no one but us has the right to decide if this is a 'disorder'. All the work I ever did for anyone was on the basis of my understanding of complex order.

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It is not your fault and you are as human as anybody else. As far as Neurotypicals despite the name there is nothing typical about them there are good ones and bad ones. In New York City Neurotypicals have been searching for weeks to find an autistic boy who ran away. In upstate New York a neurotypical yelled at a aspie cashier for being too slow. The bully got criticized and the cashier has gotten hundreds of Facebook posts supporting her.

There are are many bullying NT's but I think most of it is not understanding because in many cases they have is no need to. The latest studies show 87 out of 88 people are neurotypicals so how ofter will they run into us?. And when they do we do things differently so because they don't understand they feel threatened.

As far as masking our aspie selves by using social skills that is a tough question. If we want them to compromise for us we got to do the same. And since they are the majority in order to get good jobs we have to do some of it. On the other hand masking ourselves is exhausting. If we do too much suppression of ourselves we can cause mental problems. How much acting one needs to do will vary by person and situation. But you are not alone you can be your true aspie self here. There are probably support groups in your area where you can let it all out even the personal stuff and you won't be judged. Hopefully things will get better as scientists find out more about us.

Good luck, again you are human and it is not our fault.

One thing you must also remember, mjgirl, is that most people react that way because they are ignorant about autism. The vast majority of people either is unaware of autism altogether, or they'll have heard OF it, but haven't had personal experience interacting with autistics.

they dont care for the most part from my experience,however not all N.T's are like that.
so its best to judge one person at a time because you dont know if they will care untill you get to know them

I am an NT and I do care quite a bit about those who have Asperger's/Autism as my fiancé has Asperger's. We are all different and being an NT doesn't make us any better than someone who is not. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. There are a lot of people in this world who make fun or hurt people just because they are different from themselves. But not everyone is this way, thank God! Unfortunately you cant control what others think and do. We are currently expecting our first child together. I have the attitude where if someone doesn't like me for whatever reason, I will not get upset or lose sleep over it. You either like me or you don't. Try not to dwell on the negative people, they will suck the life out of you. Try and be proud of who you are and focus on those who love you just as you are. I am mothering aren't I?

Well said, and welcome to the forum! Also, congrats to you guys.

Thank you! I am glad to be on here.

I have several family members on the spectrum and I can answer your question (what has an autistic person ever done to you to make you feel bad or out of place). I'm an autism researcher now, but I wasn't always.

-Autistic people often have trouble showing how much they love or like you. This is really hurtful when you love or like an autistic person. A person could be your own sibling or partner and they might say mean things without realizing it or act like they don't care about you. As a NT person, you have to learn what loving and liking means to them and how they express it.

-Autistic people have made me feel like an idiot. It doesn't matter if they're smarter than me or not. If someone thinks in a very different way than you, they'll come up with different ideas. You can feel inadequate because you didn't consider what seems simple when another person points it out.

-Autistic people may not be able to fake being interested in what you are. Something like your career or friends could be very important to you, but you could have no outlet for talking about these things because an autistic person can't tolerate hearing about it. I think people kind of need to talk about or spend time with their interests, NT or aspie.

Not everyone is able to see these things for what they are and get over them. NTs don't always see themselves as superior. Even if they act that way. And it's not good to be envious of other people. They may seem to have it easier, but they have their own issues that you might not want to deal with.

sounds like a good explaination as to why my family doesnt talk to me anymore.(im a bastard i deserve it,ha ha ha ) your very perceptive.