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TornadoEvil
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30 Nov 2013, 2:21 pm

I was asked by my therapist to figure out what makes me happy. This is probably going to be a bit of a rant and not what she was looking for. Wondering what peoples two cents are? In other words, what is happiness to you, for the literal minded? Also might make some detours through neuroscience, electrical engineering, and music.

I am a collection of nerve impulses. Mostly I respond to my outside environment. Any description of me can be given either internally or externally. For people with a background in wireless communications and know of Claude Shannon's noisy channel coding theorem. I think of neurology as more of a self-optimizing communication system. There is a limit to how much information can be transmitted given a certain signal to noise ratio. Shannon's theorem proves that given enough time we can create a code that approaches this limit. It doesn't state how, why, or what your coding is, but recently engineers have gotten as close as 1% for wireless systems. If neurons are able to optimize for this using sensory feedback, then trying to understand a human brain is like trying to understand something more complicated than the entire cellular system on this planet, it will look like a whole bunch of noise without its context. Moreso, given multiple neurons transmitting the same information, they could adjust for sending to multiple other neurons, similar to a MIMO system, so that they can increase the number of available channels of information. With enough information, this is accomplished through a matrix operation called an SVD.

Not sure how the above makes me happy, but it provides some context. My brain is mostly fueled by associations. A stimuli prompts a reaction bringing up memories. Also I can make predictions and decisions using prior data. I can't reliably express them and use them to my benefit, though they can be pretty accurate, but that is self fulfilling logic. As an aspie I would say my weakness is being able to control all of this. Social motivations lead to a way of controlling what we think about. It can all be quite random for me. People normally have ways to stop what they are thinking. In my case it might take more experience then what other people tell me. Positive and negative reactions providing feedback. It takes someone close to me in order to trigger the proper reactions, and I don't connect with people or respect authority in that way.

I saw a lecture by Steve Everett about music. He was pretty inspiring. He focuses on what makes music. Timber and tuning and the listeners experience. Something that might sound beautiful to one person could be noise to another. Yet, he found people like the imperfections, the noise. Perfect tuning is a European thing. You can get used to anything, but eventually it gets boring. There needs to be the extra difference and new patterns to help you find something enjoyable.

Connecting with someone is about harmony. Control can be too one sided in terms of what people want. I find most of my enjoyment in other people, otherwise things end up too predictable and boring. I only have so much time on this planet, and its up to me to use it to make it better and let that signal propagate through time. I have severe limitations in how I can do this, so I have to trust and understand people for what they are, and at least understand how I can beneficially interact with them.

I might never be truly content, but at least I can try to make it there. There are a lot of paradoxes in the road to happiness.



Fnord
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30 Nov 2013, 4:08 pm

Happiness to me is living in the moment - the Here and the Now - without care or concern for anything.

No guilt for the past, no worry for the future, and total indifference to everything - even pain.



leafplant
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30 Nov 2013, 4:17 pm

It doesn't matter what happiness is to the rest of us because we are not you - or your neurons ;)

There are more important questions yet:

Do you recognise when you are happy?

Can you manufacture the feeling of happiness?

Can you reproduce the circumstances that will guarantee your feeling of happiness?

Do you understand that you need to experience its polar opposite in order to appreciate the happiness?


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redrobin62
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30 Nov 2013, 5:02 pm

I haven't felt true happiness in ages. I know pain, misery and suffering well, though. And depression.