My mum just blocked me on Facebook

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Good, the stupid f*****g idiot has finally taken the hint that I f*****g hate her!

That's horrible. What is her problem? She must love you unconditionally.

Well, I'll never be able to replace her. When I finally go to get sex reassignment surgery, I must do it alone. I will have no one there helping me.

I sent a friend request to my mother when I thought she was ok with me. She never responded. Don't know why. Most of the past 2 years she's not been speaking to me, not clear to me why and I've often had no idea what she was angry about beyond that it's me. I wish for more love and what passes for normalcy, but know it's a waste of time chasing love someone does not want to, or does not have to give.

Might not be the same for you. Still, she's your mother, awful for you she did that, but says more about her than you most likely. Try not to waste too much energy thinking about what she's doing.

I'm in a lot of pain right now.

Your mum may come around. But the pain warns you to be cautious about trusting her. We all wish a mother's love to be complete and unconditional, but some really struggle with that, some have trouble loving at all. She is limited in her ability to love. And that is sad.

I'm starting to realize there is no love in this world. There is only what you can take.

Oh no no no. There is love in this world. I am so sorry for what you are going through. if you are having your surgery in Colorado I could probably help out for a few days, and there are probably WP members in other states that would be there for you as well. Just to warn you though, despite being autistic I do tend towards being a "hover" mother.

You have a special issue in addition to AS. I'm assuming your mother wants you to be a boy and not get sex reassignment surgery. I know that is sucks not being loved unconditionally by your parents. I have a f****d up family too. Your mother is wrong. You are not. There are other people who can and will love you. I know it does not replace the love of your parents, but it is true. Sometimes we have to find a family of choice because our biological families don't treat us right. It is them. Not us.

Big hugs to you Beneficii. Give it some time. This is very difficult for your parents as well as yourself. Hopefully all will be well in time. But we love you here.

I'm sorry, but I'm a little lost here. Is your mother upset at you because of your sex-change operation, your diagnosis with an ASD, or both?

My mum has unblocked me and we chat some now, but I will no longer discuss freely different topics as I have before.