Did you feel your parents liked your siblings more then you?

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gertie1999
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15 Dec 2013, 2:26 pm

Just curious. I feel like my parents like my older brother better as he doesn't have as many issues and struggles as me. I mean I know they love me but sometimes I feel that way..



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15 Dec 2013, 2:28 pm

Yes! My mother gave me up when I was small, and kept my two brothers.


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15 Dec 2013, 2:29 pm

Yes and sometimes I still feel that.


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15 Dec 2013, 2:31 pm

i was the favourite, my sister had an attitude and rage problems and picked on me, plus i was adorable, no mater how difficult i could be at times


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15 Dec 2013, 2:53 pm

I don't have to feel it, I know it. Too many things they have done over the years have demonstrated it unmistakably.



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15 Dec 2013, 3:09 pm

Yup, same here. My parents definitely played favorites. I was the black sheep, and blamed for the family's problems.

Sympathy to all of you who had to experience that. It really sucked.

I wonder sometimes if my sisters might have suffered from it, too. Because every time they were preferred, it was because they'd had to let my parents step on me to do it; and they couldn't change it, because my parents were so much more powerful than they were. My sisters love me; they're my sisters. It hurts when you see that your parents' love is conditional. I know that the older of my two sisters definitely learned how to keep her head down, how to be invisible. That's not a good lesson for a child to have to learn.


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15 Dec 2013, 5:06 pm

Just my mother. I still feel some degree I am at fault and to blame, that I deserve it. But my children don't, and I want to set a good example, so try to act with understanding she is doing her best, and it isn't what it should be and I need to hold my head up anyway.

She's stopped talking to me again, does this for months at a time, sometimes longer, and then she's talking to me again. Only some day one of us will die, I can't spend my life caring about this anymore.

Hating one of your children is just wrong. But I do feel lucky my father didn't join her in her dislike for me,



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15 Dec 2013, 5:31 pm

No question, my parents both favored my sister more when we were growing up. My mom eventually came around once my sister grew up and started mistreating her, but my father has never changed. In fact, I am pretty sure there were a lot of times he has downright resented or even hated me. He has been so poisonous to my self-esteem that when I struggle with my depression I have to stay away from him for considerable lengths of time.

The thing that really gets me is that my sister also mistreats my father, yet he seems willing to overlook it completely. I have never understood it, and have come to accept that I never will.



kittygirl0811
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15 Dec 2013, 5:37 pm

My parents favored my brothers, definitely. I was kind of the family "maid". My 2nd oldest brother never had to clean, my mother and I usually ended up doing his chores for him. When I protested shew blew me off and told me to do the chores anyway.


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15 Dec 2013, 6:40 pm

I still feel like my mother favors my younger sister over me... But my dad loves me a whole bunch. :)


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15 Dec 2013, 7:28 pm

I know that my parents like my younger sister better than they like me. I always did. I don't understand why. She's the one who's sarcastic and puts down things that she can't understand. I think she got that from my mum. My mum hated me for not being like my same sex peers during my high school years and beyond. My mum hated me for being masculine. I'm an F to M, though I can't afford to transition my body. My mum and my sister are Rosanne Arnold without the excess weight or the money and I'm Mick Avory without the fame or the money. I guess that a jaded Roseanne will always relate more with a Roseanne, than they will with any other type of person.


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15 Dec 2013, 8:18 pm

yes. it felt like my parents hardly knew me. but now that the siblings have moved out, it is all Adam!


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16 Dec 2013, 2:56 am

Actually, I believe the opposite - that despite all of my difficulties and flaws (and there are many), my parents actually favor me over my siblings. I have 3 siblings, 2 older sisters and a younger brother, and one sister and my brother don't seem to mind at all whether or not my parents favor me. I am on great terms with them. But I have been having a sibling rivalry with my other sister since I was a teenager; there is a lot of jealousy and resentment on her part, and I also hold resentment towards her for her behavior towards me.



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16 Dec 2013, 4:46 am

Nope, I did not have that feeling, when it came to my father. I had the knowledge of it, there is not much to misinterpret about the words: "I wish you would not exist, you were not born, you were like your sister, you are only trouble, your existence ruined my life, everything would be better without you, ...."



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16 Dec 2013, 5:28 am

Interesting reading this - a friend of mine's brother has (undiagnosed) Aspergers and she resents the fact that her parents have always made allowance and excuses for him, and that he was favoured - I am probably a little like that with my son - hope it doesn't lead to resentment from my daughter down the track


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16 Dec 2013, 12:54 pm

I resented it. The worst was when we had relatives over for dinner and they had my brother (17 months my junior) sit with the adults but I had to sit with the little kids.