Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

leafplant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,222

20 Dec 2013, 4:01 pm

ok, so I have written about this work colleague before in the context of hugs - will he ever let up - but today he did something really weird which I don't know how to interpret because I am socially retarded (as my boss pointed out earlier lol)

Anyway, so I am in the bosses office and this guy comes in (with the aim of handing the boss his christmas card) and hangs about in the doorway for ages just yaking and someone else was leaving, so they were both in the doorway for a while while there was some sort of banter going on between everyone except me, so anyway, the other person leaves, and this guy, instead of stepping over to the side and coming up to the boss to hand him over the card - just hands it to him OVER MY HEAD.
like literally, I think his arm was half an inch over my head. There was TONS of space on the side, and in fact, he had to open the door wider and step further to the wrong side of the office to do this so he must have done it on purpose.

What I can't figure out is what it is meant to signify?

a) Was he being jealous of the boss spending so much time with me and this was some sort of dominance display?
b) Was he annoyed with me for other reasons, and this was some sort passive aggressive way to put me down?
c) Something else?

Btw, don't suggest he fancies me because he doesn't.



Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,647

20 Dec 2013, 4:09 pm

I'm having a little trouble visualizing the whole thing, but I think I get it.

If you're significantly shorter than him, he may have just done it as a tease, by way of silently calling attention to the height difference. It is a kind of Dominance Display. Some neurotypicals (usually males) think that sort of of passive-aggressive bullying is amusing. I consider it apelike and oafish.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

20 Dec 2013, 4:19 pm

Maybe he thought it would be funny. That sounds like something that a 16 or 17 yo would do, thinking it's cute or something, but not in a mean way. Maybe he's got a weird sense of humor and he was in a good mood so it came out all strange like that. That's the only thing I can think of.

Or, maybe it's some sort of an inside joke between him and the boss about reaching over somebody's head to do something.

Who knows? I don't think it sounds threatening or mean, and certainly not like passive aggressive bullying and if it's an attempt at a dominance display then the guy is probably way down at the bottom of the dominance ladder because he sucked at displaying it.

He was probably trying to be amusing and come across as light hearted or something.

I would have just turned around and looked at him like "What was that about?" in a half amused way so it wouldn't hurt his feelings that you acknowledge whatever attempt at a joke it was and walked out. It was probably just something he did in a weird mood.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


leafplant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,222

20 Dec 2013, 4:32 pm

I was sitting down and he was standing, if that helps.

Thanks for the responses.

Anyway, it's not a majorly big deal, but it's useful to know when people are meaning to be insulting, just so I can ignore it on purpose, not out of ignorance :lol:



Last edited by leafplant on 20 Dec 2013, 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

20 Dec 2013, 4:48 pm

Then I have absolutely no idea. Maybe change the title of the thread to have "British people help please" or something like that. In different countries, things can mean something entirely opposite of what it would mean down here. Hell, in 44 3/4 other states in my own country, things can and usually do mean something entirely opposite of what it would mean down here. ;-)

See if you can change your thread title or if you can't edit it, ask a mod to. That might get you more responses from folks who know the culture.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


leafplant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,222

20 Dec 2013, 4:58 pm

thank you for the suggestion, but on second thought, I've edited all the cultural references out, because it may be irrelevant and I am probably just reading too much into it. I just posted wondering if this is a generally recognised rude thing to do, but it doesn't seem to be so I am happy to let it go.

Thank you for your time! (and hope things are going ok at your end - surely my problems seem ridiculous in comparison :oops: )



delaSHANE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2013
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 708

20 Dec 2013, 5:39 pm

... all: a b & c .



leafplant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,222

20 Dec 2013, 7:16 pm

^ ha! good one. I really wish I knew what was going on in his head. What worries me is that I probably already do and he is just being super obvious and there isn't anything other than what I am getting already. brr



delaSHANE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2013
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 708

21 Dec 2013, 1:00 am

He's feeling you out. Testing you. Testing the waters so to speak, so he knows how to further proceed. Obviously I cannot be sure what he's doing or what his true intentions are, however, I feel like this is the start of a movie I've personally seen, before... if you know what I mean.