online flirting w/other ppl okay if you're in relationship?

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is sending 'winks', 'smiles', 'hearts' and innuendos/double entendres to people you find attractive on Facebook okay?

if you were the one sending 'flirts'?

if you're the partner of someone sending 'flirts'?

No, no and no. It's just not cool. DOn't send out messages of availability if you're not available. Thats how you hurt people.

Why it would be different than offline flirting?

I wouldn't consider this okay, but I suppose there's room for interpretation in a relationship.

I would be bothered by the fact that my boyfriend was actively seeking that kind of attention from and giving that kind of attention to other women even when I'm available. Looking or enjoying being looked at is one thing, but this isn't passive or something that just happens.

It could also cross into an online "friendship" where people are attracted to each other and treating each other like a boyfriend/girlfriend or a backup lover, but aren't officially together and not having (real-life) sexual encounters. That sucks up energy and love that should be going into the relationship instead of something fun on the side or for when you had a bad day together.

If it's in front of your partner definitely not. I think I would only care if I knew, as people may flirt a little with friends. Obviously we all prefer our partners not to flirt with others, just.. It's a lot worse if you know it makes them jelous or you do it right in front of them, which is usually done for manipulation purposes. In other words be careful with it cause nobody likes their partners doing it really

Nope. If I wouldn't want my husband doing it, I don't do it, either.

Flirting with other people, gives off the impression that you're not comfortable in the relationship you're in. I'm sure you mean well, but to others, they may take your flirting another way, and that could get you into trouble.

Flirting with other folks is off-limits in my marriage. It's never okay for either person, whether it be online, IRL, over the phone, etc.

No.

Think of it this way: would you be happy if your partner was sending flirty messages to a bunch of random people online?

If I can recall, you mentioned that your partner was doing something similar before with Craigslist ads and lied about it. So I am going to interpret this message as your partner having done this, and not you. Would that be a correct guess?

How do you feel about it if your partner is doing this?

Not something I would advise.

I feel like people should make their preferences explicit. I would rather have a lot of detailed conversations with my partner than try to fit our relationship into a predetermined mold. I draw the line at having sex with people who trash-talk me, though, so I can see that I have rather different standards than are the norm in this thread.

yep, aspiemike.

i'm revisiting this situation.

he told me that his 'smiles', 'winks' and 'kisses' he sends are a reaction to the others' witty, educated responses to the thread.

he also told me that although, he sends these 'flirts', they will not affect my position in the relationship as his gf.

I would recommend never to do it online. In fact, it's safer to do it in real life, because online it's recorded permanently and potentially seen by dozens of people. In real life, it might be just the two of you and not recorded. Think first, "will this make me feel guilty?", or "will this make my partner feel pain, confusion, or anger if they find it?". Then if guilt, pain, anger, confusion would be caused, don't do it! SIMPLE.

Better yet, at the outset of a relationship, maybe at the 2-3 month stage, bring up the topic at a neutral time with lots of room to talk. "I really want to know for sure what your opinion is about flirting with other people, or saying other people are good looking. I'm want to discuss it so we can agree and understand, and not cause each other any pain, anger or confusion."

The only time I get REALLY jealous is when my partner specifically points out someone they slept with. I don't get jealous of their ex, more likely if it was "oh, I slept with that guy". But apart from that, flirting is fun and acceptable.

There comes a point where your feelings should matter more to him than his intentions. For instance, when my husband and I were first dating, I corrected his grammar constantly. He comes from an extremely rural town, his mom didn't graduate high school, and none of the adults in his immediate family went to college (his brother ended up going for auto mechanics). His family never encouraged him academically, only in sports, despite his talent for math and analysis.
Anyways, all of that to say that he doesn't have a lot of the foundational grammar "built in" that I do-- my parents both have master's degrees and their parents do as well. I was trying to help him and edify him by correcting his grammar so that he could improve, so it was a kind thing in my eyes.
It was not in his.
I had to understand that despite my intentions, his feelings were being hurt and I needed to spread out my corrections a bit and say them more kindly. And I made that change because I legitimately cared about his feelings and didn't want to intentionally do anything that I knew would hurt him. In my opinion, that is a very important attribute for a significant other to have.