The reason why many are single

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I don't know if the women posting negative stereotypes in this thread here all have AS, but they certainly aren't giving a useful perspective to myself. Stating that I can't find someone because I want a surrogate mother is grossly inaccurate, and the apparent ease with which you've had casual relationships discredits any possible understanding you might have of the loneliness and suffering I and those like me experience into an advanced age, and the causes.

I don't know if the women posting negative stereotypes in this thread here all have AS, but they certainly aren't giving a useful perspective to myself. Stating that I can't find someone because I want a surrogate mother is grossly inaccurate, and the apparent ease with which you've had casual relationships discredits any possible understanding you might have of the loneliness and suffering I and those like me experience into an advanced age, and the causes.

If you want to see an example of over the top flirting watch one of Nigella Lawson's cookery shows.

Does anyone else spend hours going over and over what someone said (or wrote) to you analyzing and trying to discern every little nuance of meaning? I've been known to do that with mates and potential mates if I am uncertain as to their meaning. So many times someone will say something. Initially I will take it at face value, then later they may say something that doesn't exactly match what they said before, and then begins the obsessive analysis. I hate that I do it, and it's exhausting.

As NatureLover said, it's also almost impossible to determine another person's motives - are they flirting? Are they just being nice? Do they like me? Do they just want sex?

With my late fiance, we flirted a lot, but since he was Aspie too, he never minded when I would "call" him on something he said and ask for an explanation of why he said that today, when last week he said something similar but not exactly the same. Having these conversations with him helped me to better understand the nuances of flirting. Unfortunately, he was unique so I don't know if understanding him will help me in other relationships.

And I hate the thought of having to go back to the guessing/overanalyzing thing.

In fairness she was probably high on coke at the time.

Like this?

This is flirting?
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6DXz0MZP0E[/youtube]

Another reason why many.... *gulp* males (I am gonna be accused as sexist by talking gender dynamics again) are single is because they have major flaws: no job, no car, no place (which is a big deal in the west), and lack of physical fitness (too fat or too skinny...etc). Note that the first three might be caused by Autism , Autism does harm functionality if it's severe.

Add to all this Autism, social ineptness, lack of hygiene....and here you go, 99% of women would find them unappealing.

The keys to getting guys to approach you in busy social situations like parties, bars, etc. (that I have found work):

1) Look around every few minutes with a slight smile on your face and (if possible) a playful look in your eyes. Think to yourself, "I am interesting, I am clever, I am fun." That always gave me a more playful look, rather than just a friendly, somewhat bored one.

2) Be doing something, but nothing too absorbing-- good examples: having a drink, watching a TV in the area, glancing through a menu, looking out a window, etc. bad examples: reading a book, being on your phone, etc. Note: be sure to still follow number 1 while you do these things-- that's why it can't be too absorbing, you still want to look open to conversation.

3) Smile when you talk to people. Keep it to a small-to-medium smile unless they've said something funny or something-- you don't want to seem manic.

4) If you see someone specific that you are interested in and you want them to approach you, glance around the room, let your gaze pause on them, make eye contact (if they look at you within a few seconds), then smile, glance down or away for a moment, then look back, still smiling. Hold the gaze for a moment or two, then slowly turn away, back to what you were doing to semi-occupy yourself. Maintain a body posture slightly turned towards the guy-- this shows that you are open to his approach and in fact waiting for it.

Those are my techniques that I used to get men to approach me. It took me years to develop the details and plan them out-- I practiced in mirrors and stuff as dumb as that sounds. I just don't have those skills naturally, but I wanted to date and meet men, so I made myself study and learn how to do it. I watched my NT friends, I used trial and error, and I adapted my methods until they were effective. I'd honestly say that those methods had about a 90% success rate. They openly and universally convey interest and they make you seem friendly, fun, and positive. It may come across as rigid or overly methodical, but it's what worked for me. And now I'm married, so what the hell, I must have done something right lol.

Does anyone else spend hours going over and over what someone said (or wrote) to you analyzing and trying to discern every little nuance of meaning? I've been known to do that with mates and potential mates if I am uncertain as to their meaning. So many times someone will say something. Initially I will take it at face value, then later they may say something that doesn't exactly match what they said before, and then begins the obsessive analysis. I hate that I do it, and it's exhausting.

As NatureLover said, it's also almost impossible to determine another person's motives - are they flirting? Are they just being nice? Do they like me? Do they just want sex?

With my late fiance, we flirted a lot, but since he was Aspie too, he never minded when I would "call" him on something he said and ask for an explanation of why he said that today, when last week he said something similar but not exactly the same. Having these conversations with him helped me to better understand the nuances of flirting. Unfortunately, he was unique so I don't know if understanding him will help me in other relationships.

And I hate the thought of having to go back to the guessing/overanalyzing thing.