What are your non-negotiables? (apart from must love cats)

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Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,222

28 Dec 2013, 7:00 pm

There is this well known list of 12 non negotiables of dating: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/12-core ... tionships/

and it seems to exclude pretty much everyone I can think of.

So I want to come up with my own, so far I've got:

1. Must like cats

2. Must have good standard of personal hygiene

3. Must not lie, steal and/or cheat (we can discuss open relationship though)

4. Must not be whiny

5. Must not be violent

That's all for now. What are yours?

Last edited by leafplant on 28 Dec 2013, 11:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Joined: 27 Aug 2005
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Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

28 Dec 2013, 7:37 pm

- Must be male.

- No abuse.

- No controlling behaviour.

- Must be able to spend time alone without getting lonely and clingy.

And, reading through their list:

Almost all of them apply.7, not so much because I know what it's like to be better at communicating through writing.

Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


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Joined: 9 Dec 2012
Age: 31
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28 Dec 2013, 7:48 pm

1. Must be female

2. Must be honest

3. Must be willing to learn and/or try new things

4. Must love animals

5. Must have a high sex drive or it just won't work. Sorry I tried it with someone who had a low one and it was feckin' awful.

6. Must be health conscious. You know, not the type of person who pisses in bottles because they're too lazy to walk to the bathroom and eats tubs of that marsh mellow goo 24/7.

7. Must have decent hygiene.

8. Must not be obsessed with their phone/social media. SERIOUS dealbreaker for me if she's constantly texting all the time. Or just on her phone reading her facebook wall. wtf?

9. Must not be a cheater/liar/abuser/clingy..


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Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 60
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Location: Seattle, WA

28 Dec 2013, 8:08 pm

Must be a male

Must be non-religious.

Must like cats.

Must be the skinny, nerdy, quiet type.

Must like fine dining.

Must like movies.

Must be hygienic and clean.

Must be a non-smoker.

Platonic is fine as I've lost interest in sex anyway.


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Joined: 6 Apr 2012
Age: 34
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Location: Scandinavia

28 Dec 2013, 8:20 pm

- Must be female
- Must like animals and children
- Must be average or better looking
- Must have above average intelligence
- Must be feminine
- Can't be lazy
- Must like sex


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Joined: 22 Oct 2013
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Location: Roaming 150 square miles somewhere in north america

28 Dec 2013, 8:23 pm

must be a 25 year old vacume cleaner

must be a female vacume cleaner

must put you in a closet until I need you

must not speak unless spoken to

must cook

must be a 25 year old dishwasher

must have at least over 2.5 million dollars in cash, and gross assets combined

must please my mom

must look like a goddess in a robe and slippers with no makeup

what the heck, im going for broke. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


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Joined: 23 Feb 2007
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Location: Australia

28 Dec 2013, 8:25 pm

-Must like animals, particularly cats and dogs
-Must like sports
-Must be honest
-Must be able to deal with high levels of affection

"It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it."
Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!


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Joined: 17 Dec 2013
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28 Dec 2013, 8:31 pm


-must have at least one physical hobby, preferably martial arts followed by dance. (this isnt really a must but as long as I'm being picky)
-must NOT want to be a stay at home mom ITLR

-preferably non-religious

-must have a moderate libdo, too much may be more than I can handle and too little will leave me depressed.

-must make me laugh / occasionally find me funny

-must like dogs (cats are fine but pointy)

-must be willing to move past brooding and help solve problems or accept irreconcilable differences without breakup.

-must be made happy by/ make me happy. Emo chicks fall out of love with me if they ever become happy the sodden shoulder just doesn't work long term.

-must push me to be better. I sometimes just need a little push to start building momentum and someone supportive makes me 1000 times better person.

... I kinda feel like I'm describing someone specific... GRRR.

AQ: 31
Your Aspie score: 135 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


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Joined: 15 Jul 2013
Age: 36
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28 Dec 2013, 9:29 pm

Lol the content in the link is wrong on so many levels. Zealous advise + female game theory, no wonder it's hit and miss.


1. Has integrity and is respectful
2. Is a kind and honest woman
3. Is attractive, of slim to curvy body type.
4. Provides intellectual stimulation and challenge
5. Many more variations of 1 and 2
6. This is all off the top of my head, so I'll get back to you


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Joined: 5 Feb 2006
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Posts: 2,989

28 Dec 2013, 9:36 pm

must always be happy,around me
can't be too ugly
can't be crazy
that all for now.


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Joined: 12 Nov 2011
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Location: Portland, OR

28 Dec 2013, 9:51 pm

I agree with the items in the linked article. With one exception.
Substance abuse issues are ok, provided they are clean/sober now.

and my other non negotiables:
must be a genetic female
must like, no, love cats
no dog owners (I'm ok with other peoples dogs, but I don't ever want the possibility of potentially living with a canine)
smokers only (a smoker/non smoker relationship does not work, I tried that)
nothing long distance
no racists
no members of an organized religion
no tatoos
no kids, I don't have any and I don't want to deal with someone elses children.

So, that pretty much narrows down the selection to almost nothing. I don't even bother looking anymore.

Your Aspie score: 172 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Diagnosed in 2005


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Joined: 26 Nov 2013
Age: 43
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28 Dec 2013, 10:58 pm

1. Must be kind
2. Must be smart/speak her mind
3. Have good hygiene
4. Love cats
5. Understand each others need for space

Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does


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Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,102

28 Dec 2013, 11:02 pm

Here is the perfect woman for the guys here.

Go get her!



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Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 57,199
Location: Stendec

28 Dec 2013, 11:18 pm

Assuming that I was single...

Female (Chromosome 23 = 'XX')
Of Legal Age (18 to 65)
No Dependents


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Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

29 Dec 2013, 4:42 am

Over 18 years of age.
Doesn't abuse me in any way.

Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
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Posts: 58
Location: Australia

29 Dec 2013, 5:20 am

-must be male

-must be a geek

-must be honest

-no liar

-must love dogs

-must be a gamer or understand the whole gaming thing

-must not try and change me

-must be intelligent

- must not be needy and understands i need 'me time'

-must know how to cook or know basic cooking

-must be taller then me (shorter then me would never work for me, it would weird me out to much)