What things do you find hard to understand in NTs?

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Here is a list of things that I don't get about neurotypicals, these are the situations that I find hard to connect to, and I usually don't know what to say. I only act like I care when I don't understand what they are feeling.
Why do NTs:

-Get crazy over gold? It's just a gold metal.

-Say pregnancy and childbirth is awful, yet they continue to have children just to repeat that pain all over again.

-Say having children is important even if they comment on how children can be a pain.

-Break the laws when they know it's bad and they will eventually get caught.

-Join a gang even if death or jail are the only choices they have.

-Feel expensive clothing is the best when it's just fabric that you wear. I don't get what's so great about wearing a fashion designer's clothing, their sketched work is what I find more intriguing.

-Cheat on their partners when they badly want to stay committed.

There is much more to list. What things do you find hard to understand in other people that would be seen as "strange" or "rude"?

hmm, what I have found hard to understand is how some women can talk about things for hours and hours and never come to a workable solution regarding their issues. They then continue to repeat the same pattern of behaviour (for months or years) and continue to 'vent' about the same thing over and over again.

Similar to the above, I don't quite understand why people complain about certain things and then do the opposite of what they said they wouldn't do. For instance, I went to a work Christmas party in December and one of the girls complained about how the champagne was expensive ($75 a bottle), yet she continued to buy bottles with another worker.

I don't understand how some women can be so jealous and bitchy about another woman, and be so two-faced. I found it hilarious that there was actually a hierarchy among females (e.g. queen bees and wannabes). I did my best to learn (and continue to learn) about social and manipulation games.

And lastly how being silent as a female equates to shyness or having good posture means you're 'tense'.

I agree with you, I wish I knew why people will continue to contradict themselves and then complain all over again.

-Say pregnancy and childbirth is awful, yet they continue to have children just to repeat that pain all over again.

-Say having children is important even if they comment on how children can be a pain.


I find that the autism community has a lot in common with the childfree community, just go to www.bratfree and see what I mean.


-Cheat on their partners when they badly want to stay committed. Again, there is a reason but better save this for the adult section.

What I do not understand about NTs like my mother who is strongly NT is spending money on the church and insurance that you cannot see, touch, feel, eat, drive, wear, but is not a "real" product. Yet they talk all about things like insurance, giving to a church, pension plans, and especially health insurance. Hard to understand. Gold would be like that too unless you were like my dad, who was a dentist with the VA, who used gold to make gold fillings, that is, use gold as a material.

It's not so much that I don't understand their behavior, I get it. I understand how the underlying motivations work. I just don't share most of them. Having to deal with this kind of behavior is incredibly frustrating sometimes. It's kinda hard to account for the desires of others when you just don't share them.


However, if you'd like, I could definitely explain all of the examples you've given so far.

yea I agree, it is hard to relate to others when values/interests/priorities conflict.

Ah, I understand what the underlying motivations are in the examples I gave (if you thought to examine those). What I don't know is all the things that contributed to the formation of those behaviours. For example, one person I know who can talk and talk about her problems and never resolve them has a lot of insecurity/self-esteem issues (which crop up in many areas of her life). Offering advice (even when asked for it) doesn't help because she fails to integrate it or put it into practice, so it's wasted effort. There is also another lady I know who will put both herself and me down in the same sentence, it's as though she can't manage the 'full-weight' of her issue and has to distribute that burden to feel better about herself in that moment. If that makes sense.

Oh, with women they tend to want to talk things out with others (use others as a sounding board) and they don't necessarily want you to offer a solution. I tend to want to offer a solution or fix a problem if someone starts to talk to me about their problems, so in this way my brain is more like a guys. I have to think things through to figure out the other persons intentions or ask the person what they want from me outright - solution to problem or sounding board. So, I've personally had to read up on how 'women' think in order to understand my own gender.

Whenever I say 'I don't understand' or 'I don't know' it is because what appears so simple is actually very complex - it's not that I literally don't 'understand' the gist of what is occurring.

i don't understand the need of a lot of people to fit in and follow trends, i tried to do it once but it bored me too much, i would rather be an outsider than follow a trend. this may not be limited to NTs though just the majority of people that i have met/seen in school

I sometimes wonder why people are so afraid of people that are slightly different to their social standards. It doesn't even have to be different as such, just somebody who's sitting on a bench in the street eating something with a metal spoon or on a plate (that person may have brought with them from home). Why are people so afraid of that?

I've given this lot of thought and I don't know what really to say except that, I understand in theory. It's not hard for me to figure out why people complain and than do the opposite, I do that as well, because sometimes things I like annoy me. I said I would not spend any more time playing video games, yet I play. I guess, it's not that all different.


I don't understand certain people, like those who need to be popular, need to follow fashion, need to be on top all the frecking time and things like that. But, it's an individual thing, not all NT's want that, some do, others don't.

Their concept of fun is what i least understand... and sports, what's so interesting about watching bunch of people running for ball? I mean, theoretically i understand, and the need to socialize and everything else.

Well, sometimes I find it hard even to understand myself....so, understanding others is even bigger problem, except in theory.

I don't understand why they make so many false assumptions and leaps in logic regarding things they don't know for sure. They make wild assumptions and then act on their assumptions without checking to be sure they are correct. And chaos ensues.

I don't get the whole 'herd' mentality and how "leaders" form. I also don't understand why people blindly believe the leader. I swear if the 'ringleader' in school said the sky was red, everyone would believe it no questions asked and nobody would listen to me no matter how smart I was. As well, I don't get how person A can make a joke and everyone laughs while person B (usually me) can say the exact same thing and nobody laughs. I simply don't get it

What I find more ironic is how many of the herd pride themselves on being smart, independence and skeptical. Do they not see themselves in the mirror?

I don't understand how those social situations (parties, discussions between 3-4+ persons, etc.) where everyone is talking together in a fluid and smooth way are working. I know I probably just can't understand it because it is 90% held together by implicit and non-verbal signals that I don't get and it goes way too fast for my deciphering skills, but it still makes me sad. The way people can intuitively adapt to the way the conversation goes and tweak the discussion in any way they like seems especially "magical". I can usually handle one or two persons decently. With only one person I can even sometimes be manipulative if I know him/her well and plan it in advance. But more are just too many.

-The way they use other people as "mirrors." Online I once asked a question about how to deal with people who mistreat me...I was told that "we" (humans) just see ourselves in other people and therefore I was just seeing myself as a person who mistreats. I found the answers so very bizarre and KNEW them to be false...I guess it's only true in the case of NT's.
-Their need to interact with other people around them. As long as I'm not sitting next to a thief, I couldn't care less who's around
-Fashion trends, how they come, go, and come back. Is this an NT thing? Well it really confuses me.
-the way they look at other people, and then start thinking of themselves. How they can look at someone with untidy hair then go and fetch their comb to fix their own hair. So weird.
-how they take the accomplishments of others as if were their own...One very broad example of this are commercials that say things like "Humans are amazing. We've been to the moon and blah blah blah." The fact of the matter is that most people are simply benefiting from the minority of logical people who lived on Earth. Most people aren't that logical. I mean even a raccoon could "choose" between sitting under the rain or under a roof. Is it really "logic"?
-How they hate being called animals. This could be an AS thing as well, idk.
-psychologists who excuse all the annoying things people do as a a result of evolution.