Are asperger men what woman secretly want?

Page 4 of 5 [ 77 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next


Aspie men more cool then normal men,if they have confidence?
YES! 40%  40%  [ 34 ]
NO! 60%  60%  [ 52 ]
Total votes : 86

AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

21 Jan 2014, 4:05 am

They hate us they put a sign on us that says kill it with fire!


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

21 Jan 2014, 7:06 am

no one knows I have aspergers until i tell them some have thought i lying(why would you lie about that?) i get rejected more cause i'm not that great looking and poor. none have got far enough to know i have it. well excet the ones i stupidly blab it to :( honest to a fault

Kezzstar

a woman that loves to talk and likes contact :o only way that would be better is if they are silly and playful.
I usually have to make women tell me about their day and interests :( its something i crave and miss though i like to talk alot myself so its has to be balanced, but i really liked this one lady over the net and i loved listening to her when she would.

"how was your day? "it was ok." thaats it ok blah on the other hand had her tell me all about making windmill blades once and the process sounds boring and i'd hate to do it but it was very nice listening to her .

I love to be touched by my romantic interest only!! something my family is jealous and sometimes upset over. I guess i see how its odd but idk why i'm that way i hate being touched by family and friends and strangers but when its a woman i like i suddenly need to be held and hold her. even hand holding is fantastic o.O and i don't feel the need to sanitize afters lol

a problem i have atleast online is continuing to think of topics and worrying about bringing up the same topic twice combined with my over filled memory is hard. Why don't women talk more whah

as to the topic idk i've learned that aspies are different from each other i certainly hope one day some woman will love me
from what women tell me i'm sweet, kind, funny, (some say handsome, yeah idk what they on) even had a few say i'm the perfect boyfriend( though i suspect they just being friends.

i like this forum i just hope i don't talk to much :S i don't get to interact much



NoDisguise
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 14

28 Jan 2014, 6:51 pm

As a middle-aged Aspie (late 40s) and speaking purely from my own experience, I think many women genuinely love Aspie men, though often in a similar way to how they love gay men.

I've lost count of how many females have described me as 'sweet, funny and easy to talk to.' Which is nice, but not so great if you really want to move on to something more physical than the friend zone. When a woman says she 'feels so safe' with you, it's a compliment but it's also slightly insulting.

In my 20s I spent hours intently listening to girls (often very attractive ones) on platonic dates, only to find predatory NT guys sweeping them off their feet and straight into bed. I used to wonder if I was ever going to get beyond an affectionate peck on the cheek and a hug. Finally, thankfully I did. There IS hope guys! :D

I personally think Aspie males are more likely to 'score' with a female who is slightly 'off beam' socially (not necessarily an Aspie). If you're a Big Bang Theory fan, think the Lesley Winkle character. My greatest 'success' has been with women who are unconventional, broad minded and happy to take the lead.

I think a lot of NT women find AS men cute and often attractive but are confused by their inept attempts at courtship, particularly when making the first move physically (or not as in my case). One girlfriend initially thought I was gay, then that I simply didn't find her attractive. However when informed otherwise, she took matters into her own hands and we had the most incredible physical relationship. Aspie men, once freed from the maze of social conventions, can be incredibly loving and tactile (I realise this isn't the same in every case).

But while the downsides of AS are many, women DO fall in love with us and it can lead to incredible relationships. Sustaining them over the long term is however another subject altogether....



Uprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,908

29 Jan 2014, 5:47 am

To be honest, who the heck voted in this poll?

Forum trolls or actual female members?



AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

29 Jan 2014, 5:57 am

Uprising wrote:
To be honest, who the heck voted in this poll?

Forum trolls or actual female members?
probably Female members who are forum trolls! NT women cant stand us were weird we act nerdy and get excited easily over stupid crap and creep them out with our hobbies!


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

29 Jan 2014, 12:45 pm

I was talking to a female friend about this very subject last weekend.

She said that secretly, a lot of women want a protector and the "bad boy" can make them feel safe because they know he can kick the ass of someone who tries to hurt them. When it comes to nicer guys, the woman has to trust that when the situation comes, the nice guy will be able to kick the ass of someone who tries to hurt them. But women don't like the other attributes of a "bad boy."

So in reality, it seems many are looking for two different sets of traits, which often, but not always, are mutually exclusive.

A nice, loving, caring, understanding man who will go rambo on anyone who tries to hurt me.



Northeastern292
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills

29 Jan 2014, 2:33 pm

The idea just doesn't make logical sense. Someone I chat with on Facebook has said this: "good guys do finish last...why? because they get the girl!"



wittgenstein
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,512
Location: Trapped inside a hominid skull

26 Apr 2014, 10:55 am

We also display less emotion, which is the definition of cool!


_________________
YES! This is me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gtdlR4rUcY
I went up over 50 feet!
I love debate!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtckVng_1a0
My debate style is calm and deadly!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-230v_ecAcM


Rayvn
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 79

26 Apr 2014, 11:26 am

HELL NO. They are always trying to tell you that "Yes you did mean it in some negative way that doesn't even seem like a possible/reasonable interpretation of what you said, even though you LITERALLY JUST TOLD ME what you actually meant by it," and refuse to listen to anything when they are mad. In fact you have to beg to be allowed to merely TALK for so long that by the time they finally allow you to explain or say it, it might not even make sense anymore! Males seems to be worse on this then females, so when you're talking about males specifically it's even worse. There seems to just be this huge problem like they won't believe that anyone can possibly be saying something other then what they think, even though they know they have Asperger's Syndrome and therefore are unlikely to be right in their interpretation of other people! (if there's anyone or the prlerson themselves who disagreed with them). If I have an ASD boyfriend, it's much better for me to have an autistic one. Autistic people are also usually nice in general, and though I highly despise "politeness" (i.e. soccer moms), autistic people aren't doing it cause they're dumb, they're doing it to actually be nice. Asperger's males are nice on the surface too - at least the ones I know and I probably would not go to someone who seems "creepy" but I'm also not dumb enough to think that merely saying "Hi" or talking a lot is "creepy". In fact no creepy person I've met has ever seemed to have any signs of ASD at all. In any case it does not seem like As pies make good boyfriends at all because they argue too much and always insist that you cannot possibly be telling the truth about what you said or meant about something, but of course if the individual Aspire knows how to accept the common fact that LITERALLY ANYTHING A PERSON EVER SAYS ABOUT HOW THEY MEANT SOMETHING IS ALWAYS WITHOUT EXCEPTION 99% LIKELY TO BE TRUE BEXAUSE WHO WOULD EVER LIE ABOUT THAT?, ... then they might be much better then my Aspie boyfriends were/are. What is good for the boyfriend though (besides the obvious of being extremely loving, caring, sympathetic, understanding, and caring about you for REAL rather then the not-really-love that most people do or basing it on something stupid like a car or how you look), is the immature one. If you're not "immature" then there's no fun around the person anyway!



Rayvn
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 79

26 Apr 2014, 11:30 am

nick007 wrote:
I think this question may depend on if we're talking about Aspie women or NT women. Lots of Aspies tend to have a problem with being tickled, dislike being touched unless they're close to the person, & have problems expressing/showing empathy. Add all the other typical Aspie issues to the list here & these are things that could be a problem for NT women but not so much for Aspie women.


How could not touching "unless you're close to someone" be a problem?! If someone is your girlfriend then you're close to them... so, yeah. If you just walk up and randomly touch a stranger? ...Um, yeah, don't do that!

Also how could "not wanting to be rock led" be a problem? Um, what.....? All marriages now have a pre-requirement of tickling or something? lol



Acedia
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 489

27 Apr 2014, 6:12 pm

Rayvn, I respect your opinion, it's good to have input from a neurotypical woman. You're probably right, I'm more a HFA profile than AS, but still I'm difficult. Not easy to get along with. I'm intractable, rigid in my routines, and hate accommodating change in my life, which means relationship-wise I'm extremely difficult.

I'm reticent though, but still awkward, as my insistence on sameness is probably very annoying. But still I'm trying to modify these behaviours and make compromise as much as I possibly can. And I also have all the other problems people with autism have, which isn't easy for others.

---



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31,294
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

27 Apr 2014, 7:48 pm

appletheclown wrote:
Depends on how much you want that lady as opposed to "I wish girls liked me". When you make an effort, forgoing your doubts about yourself, it doesn't matter much if you are a loser. Doing so shows charisma, and that you are not afraid to walk up to a girl and say what you need to. Girls, regardless of how hot you are to them, will view a man's fear of initiating as a turn off.


Depends on the girl, I don't really care about charisma and wouldn't see trouble with initiating or fear of it as a turn off...I have trouble initiating interaction in general so I'd be understanding about that.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31,294
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

27 Apr 2014, 7:55 pm

TheGoggles wrote:
Does anyone want a partner with a life-long mental illness that can and probably would be passed on to their offspring?

Lol yeah, I'm absolutely sure that's the case. Oh, but we can "tickle ourselves" apparently! Wow, call Professor X, I've got freaking super powers over here!


Autism isn't a mental illness, its a neurological condition and/or developmental disorder, though many people with autism also have mental illnesses.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31,294
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

27 Apr 2014, 8:00 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
onewithstrange wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
They hate aspie men and find them creepy and judge before getting to know them and associate em with serial killers and pedophiles.When in all honesty the majority is neither.


I've been called 'The Next Unabomber' behind my back. People are mean.
Ive been asked if I shot up any schools lately. :(


During a lockdown at my highschool, due to a man with a gun coming in the school....one of the other students told me 'I'm surprised you're not the psychopath with the gun.' It was a female student and I am female as well they certainly can be nasty, not all are though, same with males some are complete jerks some aren't.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

27 Apr 2014, 8:01 pm

I seriously DOUBT IT. I don't understand why one would think that. Surely this forum gives you an indication as to otherwise?

Women most likely don't even class guys into AS and Non AS, more like, creepy, weird, normal etc.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 31,294
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

27 Apr 2014, 8:07 pm

I also voted no, because it depends on the individual how cool they are. Some might be cooler than normal males but I doubt it is always the case...also the term 'cool' probably does not even mean the same thing to everyone.