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HikariKun
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Joined: 10 Jan 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7
Location: San Francisco

11 Jan 2014, 3:46 am

All my life it's been the same story. I'm quickly wanted and accepted in to a group, but within a few days people "see me for what I am" and don't want anything to do with me. The only guys that talk to me are horndogs who want to get into my pants. It's gotten to a point where I try to dress very modestly just to avoid the attention in hopes to filter in more genuine people...but then I wind up alone and in my own little world. It's so sad that I feel like I'm starting to resent men, and I don't mean that to offend anyone I'm sure there are a lot of great guys on here...but they treat me like a piece of meat with a personality they "tolerate". I don't feel I have a bad personality I feel I am a very deep person with a lot of strong emotions that I just can't share with most people, because I feel them in a weird and sporadic way. Is this normal of an aspie?



EzraS
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Joined: 24 Sep 2013
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Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

11 Jan 2014, 6:53 am

yeah it all sounds typical and normal with an aspie and with them.
I have never been able to connect with any real life group.
it is like they have some kind of primal herd instinct that says
"this person is different, avoid - or treat like crap".



yournamehere
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Joined: 22 Oct 2013
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Location: Roaming 150 square miles somewhere in north america

11 Jan 2014, 8:50 am

it is no different for me sweetheart. I have grown old, soo many things have changed. when I was young and frivolous, girls that were friends literally took turns on me. I didn't know what was going on until the fourth one. things were soo short term for me, I had a long list of phone numbers on my wall in about a five year span. all I wanted was a relationship with one woman, and still do. now I have been single for 12 years. still looking, confused, celibate. It's the price we pay for having "unique" social skills. my friends honestly cannot believe how many times I have turned down, and said no to an opportunity to be with a women. I just know by asking the right questions, and behaving a certain way weather or not things will work out between us. I have done it soo many times it is pathetic. there is obviously something going on I do not get, and to be perfectly honest, I don't think I want to. I'm not going to fake my life away for a girl. good luck on your journey.



Dmarcotte
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Joined: 18 May 2012
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Posts: 197
Location: Farmington, MN

11 Jan 2014, 11:32 am

I am so sorry you are so sad. I have a 14 year old daughter and I can tell you as a mother it is heartbreaking to hear this. However I am wondering if you have a hobby or special interest? My daughter loves Anime and she has joined an Anime club at school. She now has people who enjoy talking about her special interest as much as she does and it has helped her make some friends. If you have a special interest and can find a club or group around that interest you will find people who already have something in common with you.

I would also say that spending some time on this forum may help you find some online friends who are also on the spectrum. My daughter seems to relate better to others who has Aspergers than she does to NT kids. They all seem to understand each other so much better.

Please don't give up - and don't believe what you see in the media - I know the pressure for a girl to 'find someone' is almost overwhelming and it can really make you feel like you are somehow lacking - but it isn't true. Get comfortable with who you are and find activities that make you happy - do that and try not to worry too much about your single status. In the long run you will be better off.

Good Luck


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