Boyfriend using me? Or just forgetful?

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Money is always such a touchy subject, it doesn't matter which gender is the one that pays more. Or even if they are going dutch all the time. My ex and I argued ALL the time about the fact that I didn't want him to pay my way for things that I couldn't afford. He would get really mad and sometimes I could see his point because - if I didn't let him pay for me, we wouldn't be able to do the nice stuff he wanted to do. So sometimes I relented and would let him pay but it always hung over me like a black cloud. And then you have the laws which say that spouses should divide everything equally, so to them it makes no difference who makes more money because as a couple you are seen to have joint money. I guess a lot of modern couples cannot accept this premise, but back when women didn't work, the man earned the salary but it was the family salary. Like, my grandmother was the one in charge of the money and with the say who gets what even though it was my grandfather who was earning the salary.

At the end of the day, it all depends on what belief systems about money each person has and whether their belief systems coincide with that of their partner.

Mine just said I can afford it so I should pay.

In my humble opinion, men should pay most. If you marry him and have a baby, there will be time when you cannot work. You need a man who will support you through this time, so you are testing now if he is up to it. When I go out with guys, I offer to pay, but if they do not insist to pay half or more I keep a mental note. See how many times I end up paying more than he had... I make up for what I don't pay by treating him to home cooked meals that I pay for, or other things.

Guys should pay when you go out - especially if they earn more than you. If they aren't paying, they are taking you for a ride.

I had an ex who did this, which is why I have such strict rules on the topic. I would give him money, then he would not give me change, and he would announce we should go for coffee and cakes in expensive shops then tell me he would find a chair while I ordered, or say he was going to the toilet.

He left me when I began to insist he paid half!