Five Traits of True Friends - article & praise of Aspie

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ZaphodsCloset
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12 Jan 2014, 8:26 pm

First, here's the article:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/commun ... iends.html

And here are some ways my Aspie friend lives these qualities:

The Ability to Listen
The guy is a talker, that's for sure. But when I make it clear that I need to talk, not only does he listen, but he picks up on and remembers *everything.* Even more importantly, whatever I say stops there; he's very respectful of my privacy. I can't imagine him turning my private life into water-cooler jokes. I could tell him anything, truly anything.

Honesty/Sincerity
He's a straight shooter. (Not that I always want to hear it, or that it even occurred to me that anyone would bother to have an opinion.) I can't imagine him ever telling me something just because it's what he thinks I want to hear.

Complete Acceptance
This friend isn't that thrilled with various aspects of my ability to be a friend to him, but he doesn't try to mould me into something I'm not. (Maybe sometimes he's even *too* accepting, to his own detriment, when I could make more effort in his direction. But that's something I'm working on from my side.) Past "friends" tried to coerce me into becoming more athletic, or going to comedy clubs, or hanging out in large groups when I needed something low-key. Not this guy.

Dependability
Marvin is rock-solid dependable. If he says he can do something, his follow-through is 110%.

Presence
When he's there, he's *there.* And when he's not going to be available, he lets me know way in advance.

There's a lot here I'd like to become more like, myself.

Also, he's really good with my cat; she'll seek him out even times when she's otherwise not keen on interacting with stupid bipeds. He's very generous with his time and energy in playing with her and letting her explore on leash, and he brings and even makes her toys.


How do you exhibit these traits, and which of them do you value in your own legit friends?



KingofKaboom
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12 Jan 2014, 9:07 pm

1245. I often say things a friend DOESN'T want to hear, things that upset them and make them angry. Not really the goal but sometimes they do bad or hurtful things so I let them no it isn't ok. Just now realizing how bad my last friend was reading this, but it's good to know now. Not so sure how good I am with 3. I don't try and change people but I do wish I could share more with them. People I don't like I just avoid though so maybe three it's hard to judge oneself accurately.


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aspiemike
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12 Jan 2014, 9:12 pm

I show all five to a degree. If I had to say which ones are highest, I'd say dependability and acceptance. I'm less likely to want to hear someone else out if they are unwilling to do the same with me. Great to see you speaking well of Marvin too :)


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ZaphodsCloset
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13 Jan 2014, 2:39 pm

@KoK, no way do I aspire to completely accept *everybody*! Most people out there, I really don't care to interact with at all, never mind to have as friends.

@aspiemike, yeah Marvin is a great guy, I just let some annoyances build up too much, to the point of extreme frustration with little things.