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Verdandi
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15 Jan 2014, 10:01 pm

It could be executive function, In my case I have moderate to severe executive functioning impairments, and the transition to thinking in words is proposed as a form of executive function. It's a difficulty that I have seen many autistic people describe to varying degrees, so it would not surprise me as something commonly associated with autism.

Although I would hesitate to say that there is no language impairment at all.



Marybird
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15 Jan 2014, 10:15 pm

I'm in state 2 with speaking and writing.
I stumble over words, mispronounce words. repeat things I've already said, and have a word retrieval problem. I've always had a word retrieval problem, it's not my age. If it gets worse, I'll worry.
I have a hard time expressing my thoughts when writing also. I can't write walls of text. I spend 20 minutes writing a single paragraph. I have to figure out how to say what I want to say, from what angle to approach what I want to say, where to begin.
I have a hard time saying or writing what I want to say, and then someone else comes along and says it so much better.
When I do write something I'm a perfectionist about getting it right.



Verdandi
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15 Jan 2014, 10:20 pm

One of the things that makes me consider that it is not just executive function is that I was hyperlexic, and this meant I learned where words go in phrases based on the words around them, but without knowing what many of those words actually meant. I was in my 20s before I could say with confidence that I actually knew what most of the words I used actually meant.



btbnnyr
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15 Jan 2014, 10:26 pm

Did you use the words or phrases correctly or incorrectly without knowing what they meant?

I was hyperlexic too, but I knew what I said or wrote meant as soon as I started communicating verbally.


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Verdandi
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15 Jan 2014, 10:58 pm

Incorrectly sometimes, correctly sometimes. Occasionally I got into some trouble because of the words I used. For example, two words I knew that were usable when angry at someone were "traitorous b*tch" which I said to my older sister once. I didn't know what the words were, but I got into some trouble over it.

I mean learning what the words that I knew meant was an ongoing process, and when I started writing for money I had to look words up when I used them and realized I had no idea what the word meant, I just knew it would fit into that particular location in a phrase. I know I found it frustrating the way people would correct usage because such corrections would sometimes involve mockery for not getting it perfectly correct.



btbnnyr
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16 Jan 2014, 12:15 am

In real time with a person in front of you, can you type to communicate bester than you can speak to communicate?


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Verdandi
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16 Jan 2014, 1:57 am

Yes, typing is easier. When I was temporarily nonverbal during an appointment, my case manager said that my communication was clearer and more direct, but that she prefers when I speak because she thinks that represents the "real me" more nearly accurately than typing. However, that was the least stressful appointment I'd ever had with her.

I've experimented with a text to speech program and I find that much easier to work with, but I have no way to carry it around with me, and attitudes about speaking vs. not speaking mean that I go ahead with speech even when it's not the best option because people take speech more seriously than augmented communication.



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16 Jan 2014, 9:37 am

Typing to communicate is way easier than speaking to communicate for me. Whether the person is there or not. I will actually communicate using IM with people sitting next to me.

It isn't just that I can undo it when typing. Without undoing anything I type, what I type is easier, more accurate, and more me, than speaking.

Sometimes what I do is type and then after typing speak. Don't just read, because it's awkward for me to do that (I can't keep my speaking up with my reading), but use that to prompt what to say andOrganize thoughts externally. I get out better than just speaking and worse than topping that way.



btbnnyr
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16 Jan 2014, 5:47 pm

I don't think that I would be bester at typing than speaking, because I add informative gestures to my speaking that take the load off having to verbally communicate and put the load on non-verbal due to most people understanding what I am trying to communicate with the gestures like drawing in air or showing some process, and I couldn't do this while typing, it's best to show these at the same time as speaking, as NTs are good at integrating verbal + non-verbal, so it's like I am eggspressing based on my strengths in non-verbal stuff and they are receiving based on their strengths in integrating + inferring.


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Verdandi
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16 Jan 2014, 11:45 pm

I have had people tell me so many times that my facial expressions or gestures don't match with what I'm saying that I don't really think the nonverbal cues help me much, unless my intent is to be accused of lying.



btbnnyr
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17 Jan 2014, 12:07 am

It's not social-emotional non-verbal cues that I am showing, it's physical processes like this atom does this, or this instrument works this way, how something works, etc.


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Verdandi
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17 Jan 2014, 10:58 pm

Ah, yeah, that's different. I don't often have conversations where such things come up, unfortunately.

I think my life would be a lot more interesting if they did.



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17 Jan 2014, 11:05 pm

Marybird wrote:
I spend 20 minutes writing a single paragraph. I have to figure out how to say what I want to say, from what angle to approach what I want to say, where to begin.
I have a hard time saying or writing what I want to say, and then someone else comes along and says it so much better.
When I do write something I'm a perfectionist about getting it right.


I do this too. I am so slow at writing. In the end my words come out better in writing but it just takes so long. And I'm not really aware of how much time is passing either. I think it has only been a few minutes then I realize a half hour has passed while I've been struggling to phrase something the right way.

Then I think about how this compares to my problems in real-time conversations with people and no wonder I feel so stressed out and pressured. I can't take the luxury of taking that much time to work out what I am going to say when I speak.