NT things/Social rules you find stupid or rude?
Or there's a twist on this one, the way I was brought up (rural Southern US) when someone offers something you are supposed to turn them down the first time just to be polite. Then if they offer again and you can accept on the second offer.
.
There are probably lots and lots of twists on it that are culture and subculture specific. You go to X and it's incredibly rude to take what is offered. You go to Y and it's incredibly rude to not take what is offered. Or you can take what is offered but only if they insist (your variant) or you can take just the tiniest little bit but then must turn down additional offers of more etc. etc. etc. etc.
I am done trying to parse the codes of offers. These days I'll take something if I want it and won't if I don't and never mind if it's rude or not. There is just so much variation that I am done.
I wish they would stop lying.
I also wish that they wouldn't go on about their wonderful empathy. If they were so empathic the world would be a much nicer place, because they would actually understand when someone is being hurt, feel it themselves, and stop doing so many of the things they do. No more bullying, no more discrimination, no more poverty, no more wars. Many of them really need to face this. I genuinely think impairment of affective empathy is more common than they like to admit.
^^this is what hurts me the most about the way the world is, generally speaking--but i don't think it's an aspie/NT thing, i think it's a human thing.
lostonearth35
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I get it already! ALL NTs are ignorant, stupid morons, WE'RE the perfect, special, ones. I'm so sick of hearing that all the time. And I'm sick of being upset by what people say on this site, because then I dwell on it for weeks or even months, and feeling guilty for trivial things like buying a stuffed animal at Build-a-Bear because the company supports Autism Speaks. I've had ENOUGH. That's it. No more. GOODBYE WP.
daydreamer84
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^
I didn't see this as a autism supremacy thread or anything, I was just thinking of a social rule in everyday life, normal society, that I hated. I didn't mean any hatred or disrespect toward NTs. Also, there are people here who support autism speaks and people who are undecided about it. I'm undecided, I don't really know enough about it.
Another one I thought of, I don't know if it's really a "rule" or just something a lot of people do. When a person just INSISTS that you must try something. And they really believe with total conviction that if they enjoy it that you will absolutely love it too. And if you finally DO try it just to shut them up, and don't like it, they are crestfallen and almost offended that you don't like the same thing they do.
A similar one is when a person says "trust me this is a good idea" and despite my having dozens of very good reasons not to go along with it, even to the extent that it could possibly ruin my life, they insist and act really offended and hurt if I don't agree.
Another one is if I tell someone I made a decision about something, all of a sudden they start telling me why I should do that as if they didn't hear me say that I already made a decision to do it. It's like they need to feel like they are the one who told me to do it.
What annoys me the most is that you've only got to wear things what a large amount of people are seen wearing, otherwise it ''looks stupid''. Never mind that some of the things what are in fashion look so ridiculous and would have ''looked stupid'' a year ago.
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Not necessarily. You see, in the NT world, certain topics are off limits for discussion, and if brought up, the person being addressed will immediately take offense (after all, the NT knows that it's a social no-no to talk about X, so "obviously" it must be an attack.)
"No offense," "With all due respect," etc. are ways of prefacing something that needs to be said without flat-out saying it. Flat-out saying it would undoubtedly be seen as offensive between NTs.
To an aspiring NT artist for example:
"I don't like your drawing, so it's not going into our magazine" = Your drawing sucks.
"No offense, but I don't think your artwork is what were looking for" = I'm not attacking you, I'm gently telling you it's no good.
While those sentences may seem the same to you, remember, you're not NT. Your directness, bluntness, and unapologetic honesty have probably gotten you in trouble with NTs before. NTs don't think and comprehend the world the same way we do, so it's good to at least observe the nature of how they operate (as nutty as their behavior may seem).
What would be wrong with:
"I'm sorry, but I don't think your artwork is what we're looking for"?
Is that still an attack? It sounds much nicer and gentler to me than the version with the cringe-worthy "no offence".
mr_bigmouth_502
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I think a lot of the clothes I see NTs wearing look stupid. Especially those god-damn sticker caps. Blech.
I think I posted this a year ago but I'll repeat it here. NT social banter/rules amount the same thing as chimpanzees grooming each other.
They are just simply "rules of engagement" in order to smooth over any important interaction that pair of people may have in future. They essentially increase the bonds between humans in order to maintain cooperation.
"I don't like your drawing, so it's not going into our magazine" = Your drawing sucks.
"No offense, but I don't think your artwork is what were looking for" = I'm not attacking you, I'm gently telling you it's no good.
While those sentences may seem the same to you, remember, you're not NT.
Actually I don't think they seem the same at all, but my reaction would have been different. I'm not an artist but I have tried to have a story published, without success.
"I don't like your story, so it's not going into our magazine"
I wouldn't hear "Your story sucks" if I was told that. Regardless of whether or not the person was giving their actual opinion, it would only be one person's opinion and based on the books that get published a lot of their choices and tastes don't impress me. What I would hear is: "I'm an arrogant ******* who will treat you like crap"
That would actually make statement 1 easier to bear in some ways than statement 2, because the person who said it was saying it unkindly. They show that they're not a great person in making that statement, and that puts it on them more than me.
Anger is easier to deal with for me than sadness.
"No offense, but I don't think your story is what were looking for" = I'm not attacking you, I'm gently telling you it's no good.
For the very reason that they're not being an a-hole about it, this is harder to take. They're not trying to get to me, but my story still sucks in their opinion, and that is harder to take from someone who actually don't wanna crush me.
It's not an NT thing. I'm embarrassed to buy toilet paper period. And pads. Yeah we all do that, but gad it's embarrassing. The less said the better.
Really? Both my parents smoke and none of them tend to buy their smokes one by one. My mother can buy quite a few packs in one go.
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BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
Here is a social rule I actually find rude:
Say A and B are in a room. C enters and wants a private word with B. Now both B and C expect A to leave.
I find that rude. A was there first (at least earlier than C) and B and C are the ones who need the privacy, so if anyone should leave it should be them.
Actually I've never met most of my FB "friends" at all. They're mostly fellow turtle lovers I've come in touch with on FB. They're not my friends, but I don't think anyone think FB friends (necessarily) mean friends. They're allies or fellow partisans in the turtle cause.
In the past some were online friends. You can be friend with someone without ever meeting them face to face. In fact all my friends have been online only.
I know FB is supposed to help you keep in touch with people from RL, but some of us use it differently.
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
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