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Kezzstar
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22 Jan 2014, 11:42 pm

Yes, this is to do with my football player, so if you're sick of it already, look away now.

I end up chatting to him after training once a week. Only as you can probably guess, I SUCK at conversation. I always have topics to talk about, but I've realised I need to ask him questions to show I am interested in him.

I was able to ask about his Christmas and stuff recently, but I really need some socially-acceptable questions that I can ask to engage him in conversation (keeping in mind he's not the best conversationalist in the world).

Questions I asked today include:

-Feeling better after last week? (he's been sick and sore recently)
-Do you think you might be overdoing it?

Questions he asked me today:
-How far did you manage to run today? (he knows about my running, and how I'm training for a charity run)
-When's your charity run? (see above)
-What are you doing later? (Work, I also mentioned that I only got to todays session by sucking up to the boss and starting early Monday)
-What time do you start work? (see above)

I kind of feel like I dominate conversation too much (except when he's moaning about how sore and tired he is). Help?


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cathylynn
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22 Jan 2014, 11:49 pm

what kind of music does he like? what was his favorite vacation and why? does he have a pet?



Kezzstar
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22 Jan 2014, 11:52 pm

I dunno, those topics never actually come up in conversation, so asking about them would be weird and come across as a fan-girl (when really we're probably heading towards friends).


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yellowtamarin
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23 Jan 2014, 12:42 am

"What are you doing later?" is a classic question to show interest in someone (as friends or romantically). Either he is clueless in the art of casual conversation, or he wanted to hang out with you. Or, perhaps it did fit within context and meant nothing, but it's an odd thing to say if you don't want to lead someone on. Did he seem disappointed that you were busy?

Sorry that's nothing to do with your question but thought I'd mention it.



bearsandsyrup
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23 Jan 2014, 12:56 am

"How did you get into football? Did you play much as a kid growing up?"

Then you can branch off of that.

In the case of, "I played with my Dad and brothers when I was a kid," you could follow with, "Oh cool, so it was a family thing then. Did you play on a team or anything when you were in school?"

In the case of, "I was on football team in school," you could follow with, "Oh neat! Did you play all through high school/secondary school?" or, "Oh cool, okay. Did you play any other sports or were you a diehard football guy?" [insert playful grin]

In the case of, "No, I just got into it recently," you could follow with, "Oh okay. I'd never be able to tell watching you play. Did you play other sports growing up then?"

Just a few ideas that popped into my head. I always tried to ask them minimally intrusive questions that let them talk about themselves. People like to talk about themselves as long as you're not probing too deeply, so keep it comfortable and casual at first.



Kezzstar
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23 Jan 2014, 12:58 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
"What are you doing later?" is a classic question to show interest in someone (as friends or romantically). Either he is clueless in the art of casual conversation, or he wanted to hang out with you. Or, perhaps it did fit within context and meant nothing, but it's an odd thing to say if you don't want to lead someone on. Did he seem disappointed that you were busy?

Sorry that's nothing to do with your question but thought I'd mention it.


He asks it often, along with "So where is your seat again?" Given it took him 5-6 times to finally get to me after a game and give me the footy (and I must admit my reaction wasn't the best, I was just completely gobsmacked) I think it will be a while before he finally asks me out to do something. Then again, I never really answer the way that would lend itself to him asking me out. Hopefully there is a session on Monday morning (Monday being a public holiday for all of us plebs) and maybe I can try again lol.

I can't really read whether or not he's disappointed, the usual reply is "Oh" and then continues on the conversation.


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Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!


Kezzstar
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23 Jan 2014, 2:43 pm

@Bearsandsyrup - I already know that he's a multi-generational player, his uncle and grandfather both played in the SANFL (South Australian AFL) and by what I've heard his grandfather was a pretty popular ruckman. I also know he has 3 brothers and that he's the third child.


_________________
"It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it."
Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!