I feel judgemental and jealous

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KingofKaboom
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23 Jan 2014, 5:32 am

So a friend of mine was in a 6 year relationship with her bf and pretty sure they got engaged but she says it was an april fools joke (who jokes about that on fb?) Anyway she met a new guy at work and they've been together several months she won't tell me exactly how long idk official for like two months publicly.
I liked her but she made it clear no go so I'm dealing with that the best I can. But he's also 9 years older than her and I personally could never date a bigger gap than 3 or 4 and it's driving me crazy that she left her last man of 6 years to be with this one and I just can't seem to find it in myself to forgive someone for that. My predictions on others always seem to come true I knew she'd end up dating this guy, and I'm predicting marriage so I'm so far out of the picture I need to look elsewhere which hurts too. I'm trying to forgive her and stay her friend but idk how! She's a really nice person but she always seems to lie to me or try and trick me about things I just don't understand why she does that. Like she hid when she broke up with her bf and I'm so angry she did that I just don't understand. She say's she feel in love in a MONTH! She backtracked on that a bit saying "awhile" but dammit.... I want to understand this situation and if I should even try to be her friend. I want to get over her but can't stop thinking about all these things. I just want to meet someone new :( Can anyone offer advice on this?


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em_tsuj
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23 Jan 2014, 6:08 am

Everybody's different, but for me, I avoid getting close to women I am attracted to who are unavailable (dating someone else, in love with someone else, not attracted to me, just broke up with somebody else, too many personal issues going on). I also avoid getting close to women who are attracted to me but I am not attracted to. That is how I avoid these types of feelings. There are plenty of guys I can be friends with. I can be friendly and acquaintances with these women, but I will not let them into my personal bubble. I've gone down that road too many times before and things always get weird.



KingofKaboom
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23 Jan 2014, 7:27 am

I think that's true. She let her feelings for him interfere with what I was hoping was a good friendship first I'd had in a long time. Now my feelings and thoughts are all muddled and confused and honestly I can't trust them to be honest with me. Just I really needed a friend when they showed up and thought my prayers got answered. Now after it's all done I feel like crap but I know I learned a lot from talking and spending time with them. I'm just sick of things turning out so badly all the time. I'm hard to deal with when people get close and I doubt I'll ever really be able to do away with all that. She lied to me so many times even when I said it was ok and I wasn't mad she still wouldn't admit it when I caught her red handed. Just feel like a poop that got dooped.


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