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Eureka13
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24 Jan 2014, 12:01 am

I have been corresponding with a number of guys since I set up my OKC profile last weekend (six or seven who made it through my preliminary "filters"). Some of them I obviously had nothing in common with, so those exchanges quickly died off. I talked to a couple of them on the phone (short calls, the conversation didn't "flow"), and even met one for coffee (the only one who actually lives in the same town), and it was instantly known to both of us that it was a "no-go." One of the exchanges, I was really enjoying, so a couple days ago he suggested we Skype. I got it set up on my computer last night, and tonight we Skyped. It was fun! He may be someone I could actually be interested in, even though he lives 1500 miles away. He is retired and travels a lot, and actually already had a trip planned through the area where I live in a few weeks (one of the reasons he contacted me).

Funny thing, he had another IRL date set up for earlier this evening, and she cancelled on him only an hour before the time they were supposed to meet (a Happy Hour drinks thing). So we were able to start our "date" sooner. We Skyped for about an hour and a half (and never ran out of things to talk about!), and then we IM'ed the rest of the evening.

This is kind of cool!

The really cool bit: based on my communications with him so far, he may be "one of us." :)



buffinator
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24 Jan 2014, 12:28 am

question:
did you do camera / voice / IM?
How long did you communicate prior?


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MadeUnderground
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24 Jan 2014, 3:51 am

LOL "One of us" (echoes creepily)

Anyway, that's great! Congratulations!!

I can't remember my first Skype as it was years ago (maybe when I was 18 or 19 or so), but I feel like I am still just as inept on it as the day I started. Did you feel nervous during the Skype session at all?
I have a horrible before anxiety, like before I know that I'm going to Skype, I just want to run out the door and not look back, but I always wind up enjoying it, and want to keep doing it.. but then that anxiety comes back in. It's annoying.

I hadn't skyped in a year and a half until recently I began skyping a lady for the last month or so.. another WP member, we've skyped about five or so times but it never gets easier for me.
Do you ever feel nervous having eyes constantly on your face? Or feel the need to be entertaining the whole time and if they seem bored you get even more anxious?

IDK what's wrong with me. It's like that with phone calls and video chats only. Everything else is fine. I guess it may have something to do with my slow audio processing thing. Or my uncontrollable urge to talk whenever things fall silent because I wrongly assume it's awkward silence, and I hate awkwardness when it's by me.



KingofKaboom
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24 Jan 2014, 5:22 am

I usually do voice but I'll do video if I want to see them. it's always anxious for me as well. Idk how to get over it I skyped the same people over and over usually once or twice a month and I never get less nervous. I can chat with people I'm not interested in fairly well I guess


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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Jan 2014, 5:44 am

Ever tried mutual voyeurism via skype?



KingofKaboom
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24 Jan 2014, 5:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ever tried mutual voyeurism via skype?
As in sex skype? No. As in just watching people live daily life on camera? No. Just talking to people.


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24 Jan 2014, 7:13 am

@ Eureka13 - aww that's great! Hope something comes of it.


MadeUnderground wrote:
Do you ever feel nervous having eyes constantly on your face? Or feel the need to be entertaining the whole time and if they seem bored you get even more anxious?

IDK what's wrong with me. It's like that with phone calls and video chats only. Everything else is fine. I guess it may have something to do with my slow audio processing thing. Or my uncontrollable urge to talk whenever things fall silent because I wrongly assume it's awkward silence, and I hate awkwardness when it's by me.


Exactly the same here. Worse. I can't even skype with family any more. The feeling of being on display, of having to perform, of having to hide that I feel bored or disinterested, of feigning emotions ...it's exhausting. The only person I can do a long (up to 2 hrs) vid chat with is a friend I've known all my life who is just so wrapped up in herself that she doesn't notice if I am not paying attention. lol Still, I only did this once, so, whose to say what would happen the next time.



Eureka13
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24 Jan 2014, 8:31 am

Video + voice. I *was* nervous and a little unsettled at first. I could feel myself blushing almost constantly, but I think I pretty quickly felt at ease with him. I don't know if it would be that easy with other people, since it was my very first time Skyping.

It was actually better for me, I think, than just talking on the phone. I think I am better at "reading" people when I can both hear their voice and see their face - I don't pick up voice clues at all unless I know the person EXTREMELY well. I HATE talking on the phone, except to people I already know well (such as family and close friends).



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24 Jan 2014, 12:16 pm

Congrats!

Also, I like your logical approach to the initial filtering, email, phone call, coffee progression. My experience has been that at each stage the other person and I get to know one another better, and either can stop it there with no-harm / no-foul on anyone's part.

Finding someone with whom I have some degree of compatibility definitely seems a numbers game. I am reminded of the TV show "Gold Rush" - the more yards of dirt I sift through, the more likely I am of finding a nugget.


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Eureka13
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24 Jan 2014, 9:16 pm

Marky9 wrote:
Congrats!

Also, I like your logical approach to the initial filtering, email, phone call, coffee progression. My experience has been that at each stage the other person and I get to know one another better, and either can stop it there with no-harm / no-foul on anyone's part.

Finding someone with whom I have some degree of compatibility definitely seems a numbers game. I am reminded of the TV show "Gold Rush" - the more yards of dirt I sift through, the more likely I am of finding a nugget.


Yes, this. Having done this once before (on POF) and only finding one person who was at all interesting to me, I'm kind of amazed that there are so many that are at least a little bit interesting. Of course, with OKC I am not limited to within 200 miles or so, and am finding that the more interesting (to me) people seem to be much farther away. Also, I'm much more picky about personality than I am about looks, now that I have had a supremely successful relationship and I know what *does* work. Not that I think I will find someone "exactly like him" but I at least have a better idea of how to eliminate those who are obviously not compatible, personality-wise.

Of course, profiles (and photos) can be misleading, and a lot of many people's personalities don't come through until you're actually communicating with them. Being my age, and having a few other long-term serious relationships under my belt, at this point it's more a matter of saying "definitely not that" instead of saying "maybe this." LOL