Does this happen to you?

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I went out for my birthday tonight with my dad. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back to sit down, the waitress was bringing out a sundae with a lit candle in it for my birthday. It really upset me and changed my whole mood and demeanor. I felt bad because I know my dad was trying to be nice but I really wasn't expecting it. It kind of just shut me down. I couldn't even pretend to be grateful for it. I just packed the ice cream up and brought it home. Does this happen to anyone else? Like, you get upset about unexpected things even if they aren't negative? Do you think you should be happy/grateful but just can't because of the unexpectedness? Like you know your feelings are irrational and silly but can't stop the feeling?

Also, a completely unrelated thing, but do you get upset when people ask you questions about things? Like when I got home from dinner my sister asked me what I got and I got upset and didn't want to answer her. I also get upset when I am watching TV and then someone comes into the room and asks me what I am watching. Or if I am eating and someone asks what I am eating or tries to look themselves to see. Anyone else?

Welcome to WrongPlanet!!

For me, most of the time.

Also, welcome.

Welcome Kateididit. And I really do wish you a very happy birthday even though you did not like the Sundae surprise.

I actually really like surprises like that but I have known other people who do not and would have reacted the same way you did. So you are definitely not the only one.

Greetings and welcome to the Wrong Planet.

Also Happy Birth Day.

And I would have been the same way if that had happen to me.

None of that would upset me, except for being interrupted when watching something. That's very annoying.

No, that wouldn't upset me. In fact I have always loved good surprises. One thing I hate is when I am in the middle of something and someone tries to talk to me and my mind is somewhere else. it's hard to switch gears so I get irritable and it's hard for me to process what the person is telling me and I have no memory of it later on so that gives me problems in my marriage.

It wouldn't upset me for that reason, but it would make me the center of attention - that would.

me too. In one of my birthdays they made me the center of attention and it upset me. I went to a dark room and locked myself inside and no one understood it. They thought I didn't appreciate their effort to plan the party and I hated that too.

This would upset me, and has.

My mother and grandmother liked to take my sister and I to this restaurant in Portland for our birthdays. This place would run loud sirens and bells and other horrible noises, and have the entire waitstaff come to your table to sing "happy birthday" and every single time it was a horror show for me, and they thought my objections and meltdowns were "funny." My mother still doesn't understand why subjecting me to this was rubbish.

Nope. I enjoy changes and surprises if they are neutral or positive.

That seems pretty typical of people on the spectrum.
Not liking unexpected surprises, being put on the spot, people asking prying questions.
All of that feels intrusive.