Taking advantage of shallowness

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People in general are shallow. That might be a bummer for some people, but I like to exploit that shallowness. Simply by wearing makeup, dressing well and having an ok hairstyle I can make people overlook my quirks or even make them think I'm cool.

I too use this as a coping skill in this NT world. I'm a guy however, but girls seem to be very fond of me (I'm told I'm tall, dark, handsome and mysterious). I guess I'm lucky that my awkward nature and quirks galore are looked at as "mysterious." So I use this to my advantage and dress nice and take care of my appearance to cover up the awkward and weird person I am.

I can tell you right now if people weren't shallow and I was not easy on the eyes... I would not be treated normal at all or even get the time of day from most people.

I have found that something as simple as good grooming can make such a big difference in first impressions. Which, unfortunately, for me lasts about as long as the initial "hello". Once I open my mouth the real me comes out, and I am back to square one in the friends-making arena.

Looks don't always matter. I was bullied at school even if I did take care of my appearance.

WARNING

May contain material that may offend more sensitive souls due to my wearing a bikini. Please let me know if there is a problem and I shall remove the blog link the picture is in. PN I do not walk around in such a state of undress in everyday life, it was worn for the purpose of taking a photo of myself doing various yoga poses. At least I was not naked.

That said, i have tried a number of different looks over the years and still I have not made friends and still I am single...In fact I was bullied and ripped apart by people especially other girls so it must take more than appearance or looks to get people to like you:













http://bumblesrubbishdump.blogspot.co.uk/

I do that too. I think it is a great coping skill.

I know this sounds like a mightier-than-thou kind of deal but there's a lot of people out there who act like they're smart... only to act like they're incredibly stupid. They get away with it though because they're NT and it's actually normal behaviour. I still can't get over how... STUPID NTs can be about certain things. It's not everyone of course. But at both of my last jobs I got it a lot. Of course you're the one who's wrong and they have to sit down with you and explain why you're wrong with some ambiguous meaningless banter that doesn't actually explain anything because they think you're the stupid one.

My best buddy (who's blind) and I chat about this a lot actually. People go around and avoid both of us, because with me I make them feel "weird" or something (idfk) and he makes them feel vulnerable. But it's pretty funny when you hear them through the side of their ear, complaining about something which is EASILY FIXABLE because they're too silly to even realize it.

People acting like they have the right to believe that you are stupid and just some feeble minded kid has its advantages. For one, they do not expect you to react. So when you do it scares them. Secondly, they don't expect you to think for yourself (how ironic). So when you do something autonomously it freaks them out. It actually applies to both my buddy and me, which just comes to show you that a lot of the people who claim they support helping people with a disability are just doing it for show.

I play on the whole autism thing and enjoy using "shock" to make people freak out and help break stereotypes. People don't expect an autistic to have a full time job or drive to work on their own or to be fairly witty or someone who is loud and proud or any of that stuff because they never learned to not judge a book by its cover. People actually tell me that "it's impossible for me to have autism because I'm so loud and proud". Ha! My buddy encounters similar situations where people freak out when he explains the answer effortlessly, or he manages to outdo everyone's work around him.

There's a lot of people who expect you to not be good enough because you have a disability. Show them you're better than that! Most people I found with autism or another disability are very good at at least something and, well, that's something you have a leg up on in the world over everyone else. Tackle it and use it!

Is it just me or does society and social cues usually make NT's... really dumb?

I have achieved the same thing by by dressing very similar to this:



I find by dressing stylishly quirky, people automatically seem to accept me better. It took me a lot of research to get the look down. I think I seem stranger to others when I'm dressed in causal office attire. Now it's like people expect someone who acts differently and they like it.

Last edited by briankelley on 27 Jan 2014, 9:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Same here.

Second picture of you very cute, bumble.

Excellent point ! ! I have found that to also be true for me.

For a few years I worked in the arts. During that time I adopted a "uniform" typical of an artist in my field, with an added bit of quirkiness by always wearing Birkenstocks and always having some tool of my trade on me. It seems people thereby rather expected a bit of oddness which they took as artistic eccentricity. It helped a bit.

On the other hand, if I dress, groom and overall present as an (older) preppie, (these days more like a country club type) then people rather expect me to behave that way. It is harder for me to sustain that because they more likely expect me to be an extroverted NT.

I have sometimes found it a bit of fun to alter my attire and then watch for differences in how people act toward me (at least initially).