okcupid Red: Replies very selectively

Page 2 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,696
Location: US

28 Jan 2014, 1:14 am

was a interesting read.

few problems i see is
1. i can't see who likes me without paying okc their 9 a month. all it will tell me is there's 7. it anoys me they do this while pof doesn't both have ads both have upgrade accounts.

4 is i don't like coffee and can't afford to go on traditional dates, i like walk dates anyways.

you must be really brave

i pretty good at getting women to laugh though it hasn't helped me past first few messages.



buffinator
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 651
Location: Illinois

28 Jan 2014, 9:46 am

sly279 wrote:
was a interesting read.

few problems i see is
1. i can't see who likes me without paying okc their 9 a month. all it will tell me is there's 7. it anoys me they do this while pof doesn't both have ads both have upgrade accounts.

4 is i don't like coffee and can't afford to go on traditional dates, i like walk dates anyways.

you must be really brave

i pretty good at getting women to laugh though it hasn't helped me past first few messages.


I do have the paid sub but it does send you a message when you get "liked."

It took me three months to get my first date on OKC after messaging hundreds of girls. That girl I dated for a month but then she broke it off the day after asking me to be monogamous with her. Since then I've only had a few dates but each time I succeed a little bit it makes it easier to get to that point again on another try. The point isn't to meet the love of my life the point is to slowly build up social skills and confidence. I have never dated before and so I'm behind the game, like many people on the forums.

once you get the girl to laugh ask her out right away. saying "I can't do traditional dates" is a cop out. You can literally do long walks on the beach or sitting on a bench people watching. A fun date idea is to sit on the bench and make up stories for the people who are walking past. Just don't expect that just because a girl goes out with you she owes you anything, emotionally or physically.


_________________
AQ: 31
Your Aspie score: 135 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,696
Location: US

28 Jan 2014, 3:55 pm

buffinator wrote:
sly279 wrote:
was a interesting read.

few problems i see is
1. i can't see who likes me without paying okc their 9 a month. all it will tell me is there's 7. it anoys me they do this while pof doesn't both have ads both have upgrade accounts.

4 is i don't like coffee and can't afford to go on traditional dates, i like walk dates anyways.

you must be really brave

i pretty good at getting women to laugh though it hasn't helped me past first few messages.


I do have the paid sub but it does send you a message when you get "liked."

It took me three months to get my first date on OKC after messaging hundreds of girls. That girl I dated for a month but then she broke it off the day after asking me to be monogamous with her. Since then I've only had a few dates but each time I succeed a little bit it makes it easier to get to that point again on another try. The point isn't to meet the love of my life the point is to slowly build up social skills and confidence. I have never dated before and so I'm behind the game, like many people on the forums.

once you get the girl to laugh ask her out right away. saying "I can't do traditional dates" is a cop out. You can literally do long walks on the beach or sitting on a bench people watching. A fun date idea is to sit on the bench and make up stories for the people who are walking past. Just don't expect that just because a girl goes out with you she owes you anything, emotionally or physically.


nope the most i've gotten is when logging in at the bottom it'll be like such and such likes you but its only there for a second then gone, i suspect to tease me into giving them money

i've been on theere since 2008 messaging girls and only had on date in 2012 :( and another kinda date later that year.
for me its to find my love to be with as i won't be meeting women out of dating sites in that regard i'd have better luck people setting me up, but lack anyone that could set me up with women.
my sister knows a lady but shes dragging her feet at sending her a message, been over a month now :(

by traditional i ment, dinner and a movie to wich i can't afford, most girls arent near by me so my money has to go to gas just to get to them ad to that i only have 80 for 3 months to spend on gas, pants, and other clothes( i could really use more pants.) so dates that cost money just aren't theseable, and i know people will be like well get a job or wait til you have a job, i've been looking for work since 18 now i'm soon 26 so it could be another 10 years before i get a job if i ever do. i count myself super lucky to have the little job i have now. i don't feel this means i don't deserve to be loved, theres tons of fun things to do that don't cost money, growing up poor i know this.



warsend
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 132

30 Jan 2014, 3:07 am

it used to show me who liked me but now it doesn't unless I have A-List.

I got a couple questions, one is about OkCupid, another is about a message I got recently.

1) I got A-List (it's ok, nothing great), there's a creepy feature on there that I sadly use. It says if a person read your message. I sent a message to someone, and it shows that she did not see it despite it saying she was online since I sent it. Is there any way she saw it (I get notifications through e-mail and I can see what they say without logging into okcupid), i'm curious if i should rescind it or if I'm wasting my time.

2) I was stalling while replying with that girl, I asked her out after awhile and she didn't respond. I was annoyed with all the mind games that were going on so I eventually told her she should have just said no instead of ignoring it (not a great move, I was fed up with both me and her playing games, so I said stop the bullshit). She responds with "well, what are you waiting for". Can anyone try to decipher that?

I'm not expecting anything out of her, just some questions I have to help with the future in OLD.



Mindslave
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,052
Location: Where the wild things wish they were

01 Feb 2014, 2:03 pm

The girls with "red" are actually more likely to reply to interesting messages, and when I say interesting, I mean showing interest in her, as opposed to merely initiating conversation. Each individual message does not need to stand on its own as a work of art.

One time I messaged a girl whose profile explicitly said "Do not message me" just to see how she would respond. Sure enough. we struck up a conversation. It didn't continue, but the lesson was the same: Call her bluff, cause she ain't that tough.