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namaste
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28 Jan 2014, 9:55 am

I often wonder how people have sex without feeling shy...
i mean removing their clothes in front of strangers
if they have good figure well and good
what about those who are plum do they feel embrassed
to have sex with their dates


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buffinator
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28 Jan 2014, 10:47 am

most people feel somewhat shy and embarrassed the first time. How your body looks on the outside doesn't really effect who you are on the inside and everyone has insecurities.

This is why people build relationships over time so they trust their partner before they open up to them sexually. Conversely this is why people 'hook up' with strangers who have no ties to their lives and they will never see again and cannot interfere with their social lives.

It all depends on the context.


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StarCity
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28 Jan 2014, 3:47 pm

buffinator wrote:
most people feel somewhat shy and embarrassed the first time. How your body looks on the outside doesn't really effect who you are on the inside and everyone has insecurities.

This is why people build relationships over time so they trust their partner before they open up to them sexually. Conversely this is why people 'hook up' with strangers who have no ties to their lives and they will never see again and cannot interfere with their social lives.

It all depends on the context.


I have very little experience, but I think that what "buffinator" has written is good advice.


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yellowtamarin
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28 Jan 2014, 8:28 pm

Also, alcohol can help for the first time with someone new.



MadeUnderground
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28 Jan 2014, 8:29 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Also, alcohol can help for the first time with someone new.


Dat devil's nectar tho ;)



Deuterium
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28 Jan 2014, 9:58 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Also, alcohol can help for the first time with someone new.

Or, as I have heard, make you completely regret your first time.



yellowtamarin
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28 Jan 2014, 11:58 pm

Deuterium wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Also, alcohol can help for the first time with someone new.

Or, as I have heard, make you completely regret your first time.

Well I was talking about having a couple of standard drinks to take the edge off before sleeping with a new partner, not getting plastered before having sex for the first time ever.



headhunter228
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29 Jan 2014, 1:21 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Well I was talking about having a couple of standard drinks to take the edge off before sleeping with a new partner, not getting plastered before having sex for the first time ever.

At the very least, I'd like to be able to remember my first time.


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29 Jan 2014, 4:29 am

In my own experience, even in a hookup situation with a relative stranger shyness tends to fall to lust pretty quickly once the clothes start coming off, and I've got a far from perfect body myself.


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namaste
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29 Jan 2014, 5:19 am

Deuterium wrote:
Or, as I have heard, make you completely regret your first time.

i wasnt asking about first time.......
its anytime


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namaste
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29 Jan 2014, 5:21 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Well I was talking about having a couple of standard drinks to take the edge off before sleeping with a new partner, not getting plastered before having sex for the first time ever.

ya rite
getting drunk and sloshed gives guts to do things
otherwise in normal state of mind lot of shyness will inhibit the situation


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AspieOtaku
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29 Jan 2014, 5:33 am

I have my moments! I did date a woman a few years ago for three months after the second month she invited me over to her apartment and she took off her clothes and wanted to have sex with me and I rejected her offer and left and the relationship deteriorated afterwards with her crying and being mad at me for not having sex with her!


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Fogpatrol
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29 Jan 2014, 3:17 pm

Deuterium wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Also, alcohol can help for the first time with someone new.

Or, as I have heard, make you completely regret your first time.


I thought regreting your first time was pretty much the standard for everybody, alcohol or not.

How was the first time you rode a bike? Did you get better over time and was it more enjoyable?



Deuterium
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29 Jan 2014, 7:29 pm

Fogpatrol wrote:
I thought regreting your first time was pretty much the standard for everybody, alcohol or not.

How was the first time you rode a bike? Did you get better over time and was it more enjoyable?

Regretting your first time has nothing to do with how "good" it felt, it has to do with if you felt you made some horrible mistake in who you chose to do it with, or the circumstances it was done under; that you wish you could 'take it back' and make a better decision.

Do you regret the first time you rode a bike just because you weren't good at it? Chances are that sounds like a silly question, unless you chose to ride a bike that was all rusty and it broke while riding it and you fell down a ditch and broke a bunch of bones - then maybe you'd regret that choice and would have wished you'd picked a better bike.



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30 Jan 2014, 12:07 am

^ I don't regret my first time, even though the guy was a douche. I do kinda regret not doing it sooner, drunker, with a different douche :P

Back on the topic of anytime sex, I think there's value in sober, tipsy and drunk sex. Each has its own dynamic. Part of the excitement of sober sex is, in fact, that you may be more nervous about getting naked. The adrenaline that comes with that can be good!