how obvious might it be?

Post Reply New Topic

Someone said to me once "it's really obvious you have aspergers". I then asked him "how is it obvious?" And he said "because"lack of empathy and lack of eye contact"


There are those with AS who do manage to fit and get through life without help but that is not the case with me.


Do you think possibly judging by his comments that I have a more seveare case of AS? Even though I do view myself as a normal person who does does do weird things from time to time quite possibly am I not in tune with how obvious my aspergers is too others?

It's can only be "obvious" to people who know what AS is. Most people have never heard of it, so it may be obvious that you're not like most everyone else, but that doesn't mean everybody you meet automatically thinks "Geez, that guy sure is AUTISTIC."

Don't overthink it, or let some thoughtless remark psyche you out. It's okay to be weird. I would hate to be normal, normal people are so BORING.

I get the opposite: "YOU have ASPERGERS?!? No way. You're so NORMAL..."

Which always makes me feel great.

"A more severe case"?

More severe than who?

Everything is relative.

You're you. If your neurology leaves you with a few brain mechanisms not working, or not working as well as the average person, that's the hand you were dealt.

If this person says you have obvious eye-contact problems, then maybe make an effort to work on that. Don't worry about it, but try.

The "lack of empathy"? That might take a bit more doing, but you could try pausing to reflect when you interact with someone. "Is what I'm about to say or do something that would bother me if someone said or did it to me?"

If you do that, you're putting yourself in the other person's shoes. If you decide YOU wouldn't like it, then don't say or do it to them.

Yeah, it'll be an effort to constantly self-monitor like that, but you'll be slowly learning to at least approximate NT behaviour and to some degree NT thinking. The more you do this, the less effort it'll take because it'll become more and more a part of who you are, how you think, and how you act.

Last edited by Sethno on 28 Jan 2014, 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

if have got the confidence to do so-do the same back to them,swap 'ASPERGERS' for normal, and 'NORMAL' for weird.
eg; "YOU are NORMAL?!? No way. You're so WEIRD..."

Pretty much this. People can't know if you have ASD unless they know the earmarks, and even then not always. I know the earmarks inside and out, and have still met people who I'm genuinely surprised are autistic.

Being diagnosed by people on the street isn't something to worry about. People are always going to think about you, analyze you, and form opinions about you. It's how people work - fighting against that won't do you any good.

I think his comment says more about how well he knows AS, rather than how obvious your AS is. You can be an embodiment of the classic stereotype of AS and still have people not realize it, if they don't know what AS is.