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wozeree
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30 Jan 2014, 8:02 pm

I just asked this question in Jen's thread, but then I thought I should give it its own thread.

I'm talking about fights on the forum.

I notice there are a lot of hotheads on this forum who tend to get into arguments in multiple threads discussing multiple subjects (like me). I also notice though that there are a lot of people who NEVER ever get into fights and whom I can't even imagine fighting.

So what's your secrets? I've been trying to keep myself calmer both in real life and here, but I need all the help I can get. Do you have tips? Does it come naturally to you, or do you have to work at it?

What especially do you do when someone is saying something that you feel is wrong and it's a subject that you feel passionate about?

Feel free to discuss! Thanks!



AdamAutistic
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30 Jan 2014, 8:13 pm

i just ignore it.


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Last edited by AdamAutistic on 30 Jan 2014, 8:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DarkRain
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30 Jan 2014, 8:14 pm

If someone says something I disagree with, I state my opinion in as calm a manner as I can and then leave it at that. I've got no interest in fighting with anyone, so I simply don't respond to whatever they might have said after I put in my two cents.



KingdomOfRats
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30 Jan 2014, 8:36 pm

will respond in a way that isnt offensive or confrontational to the person because it isnt nice plus do not like getting defensive confrontation,will remember to be adaptable to the differing writing styles people have and the fact we are mainly a bunch of autistics so have to accomodate each others differences and difficulties to exist as a community.
outside of that,there are times will mention something if it is really getting to self,a common post trigger of mine is the use of retard/retarded on here as the long outdated medical label or as an insult when many of us on the spectrum are also intelectualy disabled and detest everything that word has represented and done to us.



vickygleitz
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30 Jan 2014, 8:59 pm

You don't come across as a hot head to me, but maybe you should not attempt to debate delussional people who are incapable of listening to reason.



Willard
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30 Jan 2014, 9:10 pm

:lol: I rarely return to the same thread once I've said my piece, so if someone wants to argue, they'll be arguing with a blank wall. I don't really care if anyone agrees with me or not, it's not my problem and their arguments are not going to change my mind, so why read them?

I'm not trying to save the world, just commenting randomly in a support group, on what I think about what's being discussed. If my remarks seem non sequitur or inappropriate, well, that's kind of the disorder we all have, just ignore it and move on, no offense intended. I gave up intentionally wading into ideological arguments when I matured enough to realize that only a fool thinks he has all the answers about anything. :roll:

I think the only times I've been intentionally snippy with anyone is when I took them for a troll. If I misread, my apologies, but I am a bit defensive when it comes to perceived insults against my WP brothers and sisters.



CockneyRebel
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30 Jan 2014, 9:34 pm

I state my opinion and than I try to keep out of it afterwards. If I disagree with the opinion of someone who starts a thread, I stay out of it.


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EzraS
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30 Jan 2014, 11:46 pm

I'm just lucky that way I guess. In thousands of posts in different forums, I've never gotten into an argument.



daydreamer84
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31 Jan 2014, 12:53 am

:lol: I'm one of the hotheads. OP, I don't know, I need to learn to let arguments go as well. In real life I also go on too long with them or just keep them going past the point where it's appropriate, apparently. My mum gets angry at me for this.



TallyMan
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31 Jan 2014, 3:13 am

I'm watching out for hotheads. :P

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31 Jan 2014, 4:43 am

I'm prone to getting into lengthy and heated arguments that leave me feeling exhausted and emotionally numb. The only way I've found to suppress the urge to "set things right" is to switch into "I weep for humanity" mode. I wish I could explain it better :) I simply tell myself that 99% of my alleged species consists of small-minded, biased, uneducated and plain ignorant individuals, and that there is no cure for this condition unless the sufferer wants to be cured. And I remind myself of previous drawn-out forum debates, some of which have driven me to leave a forum because I don't cope well with adversity.

This method often (not always) allows me to close the thread, move on to something more interesting and rewarding, and completely ignore the annoying poster from then on. I also stay out of subforums that appear to be hotbeds for trolls, bigots and people who are strongly afflicted by certain viral memes, which tends to be the political subforum in most places. I have a strong interest in politics, but I have yet to find a place where political issues can be debated in a relatively polite and reasonable manner. There is way too much cultism and tribalism in modern day politics for that to be possible (and the Powers That Be probably like it that way).



GivePeaceAChance
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31 Jan 2014, 8:09 am

I am a major activist with very extreme positions, also Vegan, feminist, atheist, the list goes on - needless to say on the internet it is very easy for people to get in fights around statements I make and for me to be offended by others statements.

when I was younger I would go off on people, now I make prodigious use of block features and in some cases just delete accounts when it gets bad.


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coffeebean
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31 Jan 2014, 10:09 am

Quite simply: many arguments don't matter. Opinions rarely change. There is no "winning."

The only thing I'll argue about is prejudice and willful ignorance outside of debate zones, in particular if no one else seems to be speaking up. It's not about changing opinions, though, it's about not letting those attitudes gain a foothold and letting people wonder if everyone really feels that way because no one says anything in response or disagrees. Silence just lets it spread.



Fogpatrol
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31 Jan 2014, 2:20 pm

Simple: Internet



Ashariel
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31 Jan 2014, 2:29 pm

Sometimes I say things that accidentally offend other people, but I didn't mean it that way. So I just do my best to apologize, and try to clear up the misunderstanding. I don't like fighting. :(