I don't get along with Aspies in real life

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

30 Jan 2014, 9:46 pm

I get along with people on wrong planet, but I don't get along with Aspies in real life. I get along best with quirky NTs in real life. I often end up hanging out with Aspies anyways because I don't feel as nervous around them.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


ZombieBrideXD
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2013
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,507
Location: Canada

30 Jan 2014, 10:17 pm

im the same way in some ways, i get along with lower function autistics than aspies, aspies talk a lot and invade my personal space. but lower functioning tend to keep their distance and talk a lot less. but i do have a lot of aspie friends, and even though im EXACLY like them, i get nervous around them and get tired out. i do not get along with NTs AT ALL though!


_________________
Obsessing over Sonic the Hedgehog since 2009
Diagnosed with Aspergers' syndrome in 2012.
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 severity without intellectual disability and without language impairment in 2015.

DA: http://mephilesdark123.deviantart.com

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 170 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 43 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

30 Jan 2014, 10:31 pm

Having gone to school my whole life with kids all over the spectrum, it really depends on the individual.
But I do feel more comfortable with aspies than nt's, just because we have something very distinct in
common, that most nt's don't get of course.



Norny
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2013
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,487

30 Jan 2014, 10:58 pm

1 of my 2 best friends has classic autism and was non-verbal for 6 years, but now he would be considered high functioning most likely. The only real struggles he has now are that he has to prepare at least one day in advance for any big changes, and that unexpected/unpredictable things 'scare' him (he refers to most negative emotions as 'scared'). He doesn't really have sensory issues now - he told me once every 3 months or so he'll suddenly feels really tired and his central vision will be focused and more detailed while his periphery de-focuses and fades to grey, and his hearing becomes louder, both lasting for only 10 minutes or so.

He's very much like me personality wise, and we get along very well.


_________________
Unapologetically, Norny. :rambo:
-chronically drunk


Dillogic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,770

30 Jan 2014, 11:51 pm

I have no idea why people think socially challenged people will actually get along better with other, socially challenged people.

It technically should be worst.



EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

31 Jan 2014, 12:05 am

Dillogic wrote:
I have no idea why people think socially challenged people will actually get along better with other, socially challenged people.
It technically should be worst.


Stuff is pretty much the same in a population of all asd as it is with nt's. There are a lot of people on the spectrum I can't stand because of their particular autistic traits.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 21,187

31 Jan 2014, 12:12 am

Human beings generally make good friends when there is some understanding of mutual benefit. Usually this happens when two people are from similar socio-economic backgrounds, similar social status and have similar personalities, likes and dislikes. Hence they have a reasonable amount in common (it's not really rocket science)

However this type of chemistry can be nurtured between people of widely different developmental levels, appearance, intellect or personalities etc...

For instance an outgoing NT or even high functioning Aspie male may not feel he has anything to gain hanging around a person who is socially awkward and says very little. Therefore it's possibly unlikely he will make friends with that person. If however the socially awkward person runs a Fortune 500 company or looks like Charlize Theron in a miniskirt then there is a clear trade-off for that Aspie guy to make concessions over his preferences and make a bigger effort to make friends.

On the flipside a socially reticent individual may find benefit making friends with an NT because there is yet again a trade-off in having a stimulating socially interesting person even if that person makes loud irritating noises, ignores them every once in a while to talk to other people or changes plans all the time.

it all comes down to how much mutual benefit there is for the different parties.



Northeastern292
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills

31 Jan 2014, 12:13 am

I get along with many but not all of them. I also find that for the most part I do better with quirky NT's. In fact, I find a ton of aspies annoying, sad to say. Go figure: my Aspie-quiz score was a 119/200 NT-wise and 113/200 autie-wise, or was it the other way around? Needless to say, the test said that I have both aspie and NT traits.



Waterfalls
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,075

31 Jan 2014, 6:25 am

Dillogic wrote:
I have no idea why people think socially challenged people will actually get along better with other, socially challenged people.

Very true. So it's hard to understand the appeal of Wrong Planet, which is very real. What does make this place compelling?



GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

31 Jan 2014, 8:01 am

I was about to make a thread about this. Hi, my name is GiantHockeyFan and I have to confess: I can't stand real life Aspies! :lol:

In all seriousness, there were two guys I now realize probably have Aspergers (or strong traits) that use to practically cling to me for no apparent reason and came across as WAYYYY too intense. I have to admit they were both probably harmless looking back but they gave me the "used car salesman" vibes to the point I couldn't stand to be around them. What's worse was this guy from the Middle East in my university used to constantly invade my personal space: too bad as I'm sure we could have got along great if he didn't do that.

It also goes the other way: there was this almost certainly Aspie or Autie kid back in High School my mother was encouraging me to get to know (and she is an expert at reading people) He seemed like a decent guy so I tried to say hi and found to my surprise he was a huge a**hole and he was a loner because he was a jerk who hated people. Like a disability advocate told me once off the record: having a disability or impairment doesn't mean you can't also be a complete a**hole too.



qawer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,252

31 Jan 2014, 8:22 am

All human interactions are determined by social contracts, nothing else. Are mutual benefits present, the relationship goes well. When benefits disappear on either side, the relationship falls apart. In the end, everyone is in it for themselves some way or the other.

The only truly unconditional relationship you can ever have to anyone is the one you have to yourself. Relationships to other people are conditional contracts, some better than others.