Why do so many women trivialize rape?

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Aaendi
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31 Jan 2014, 5:50 am

In my experience it seems like the vast majority of women think that getting arrested is one big joke. If there is anything that makes them feel slightly uncomfortable, they blow it out of proportion, by comparing everything to rape. I also hear a lot of women making rape jokes that target men, and use excuses like "oh but, it's not technically rape if a woman does it". I feel very uncomfortable at college, because of this.

Yes, I am aware that this thread could be interpreted as a generalization of women, but somebody else made "men think with their dicks" thread, so I don't feel guilty about doing it. If you are a girl, and you find other women who do this despicable, then I'll be glad to see some women who are actually decent.



Last edited by Aaendi on 31 Jan 2014, 5:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

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31 Jan 2014, 5:55 am

No, rape is rape. If you mean the word rape in the vernacular then think about this. I might say "I'm gonna kill him for saying that" and I'm not trivializing murder, it's just an expression.


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Aaendi
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31 Jan 2014, 6:06 am

It's one thing to use it in an expression like "that alien got raped by that wizard in this video game", and another thing to tell a cop that you've been raped, just to laugh at a guy getting arrested.



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31 Jan 2014, 6:44 am

Aaendi wrote:
It's one thing to use it in an expression like "that alien got raped by that wizard in this video game", and another thing to tell a cop that you've been raped, just to laugh at a guy getting arrested.


Yeah it is. And whoever would do that is a worthless c**t. Who deserves whatever she gets for the rest of her life.


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TheGoggles
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31 Jan 2014, 10:17 am

As someone with ASD and severe anxiety, I can empathize with your fear of false accusation. But it's far rarer than you're making it out to be, and the prosecution needs some kind of compelling evidence to prove that you're guilty beyond any reasonable doubt. With DNA evidence as advanced as it is, false accusations are even harder to get away with.

Unless you're a minority, in which case you might be in a bit more danger. Like that guy who was on his way to joining the NFL before he was falsely accused of rape. The woman later said that she lied, and he was released from prison after several years. All of the money she received in civil damages wasn't repaid because she had already spent it all, and she was never punished. This isn't a common occurrence, though, and I'm sure the defendant being an African American man didn't help his chances.



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31 Jan 2014, 11:00 am

Aaendi wrote:
If there is anything that makes them feel slightly uncomfortable, they blow it out of proportion, by comparing everything to rape.


Many women that get mugged w/ wallet stolen probably try to claim it was "attempted rape" just cause they be pervs or something.



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31 Jan 2014, 11:33 am

Venger wrote:
Aaendi wrote:
If there is anything that makes them feel slightly uncomfortable, they blow it out of proportion, by comparing everything to rape.


Many women that get mugged w/ wallet stolen probably try to claim it was "attempted rape" just cause they be pervs or something.


Errr, no. Unless the offender explicitly grabbed at the breast or genital area of their victim, in which case the prosecutor would likely tack on a sexual assault charge. But even then, it's iffy as to whether that count would stick unless it was caught on surveillance or there were witnesses.



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31 Jan 2014, 11:49 am

TheGoggles wrote:
Venger wrote:
Aaendi wrote:
If there is anything that makes them feel slightly uncomfortable, they blow it out of proportion, by comparing everything to rape.


Many women that get mugged w/ wallet stolen probably try to claim it was "attempted rape" just cause they be pervs or something.


Errr, no. Unless the offender explicitly grabbed at the breast or genital area of their victim, in which case the prosecutor would likely tack on a sexual assault charge. But even then, it's iffy as to whether that count would stick unless it was caught on surveillance or there were witnesses.


ikr, I'm sure the cop immediately says something like: "that wasn't a sex-crime, you just got mugged idiot". Good way for the woman to try and dramatize it though.



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31 Jan 2014, 12:23 pm

The sad truth is that it is funny until it happens to them or to someone they love. Only then can they realize that rape literally is the murder of a person's self-respect.

There are many kinds of rape. Not just the violent, physical ones. A person can be raped through emotional coercion... the fact that they 'willingly' allowed someone else to have sex with them because if they didn't they'd be on the receiving end of severe emotional pain (aka, have sex or he will leave and find another girl to satisfy him) or lose access to something they desperately need (aka drugs or access to her children or even room&board).

These last 2 kinds of rape are the least known and the most common.

But in the general population 'rape' is a power/domination concept...the physical 'conquest' of someone weaker. Its taken almost as a form of bullying when jokes are made with it ('we raped their team with a 10-0 score last night',etc)



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31 Jan 2014, 12:55 pm

Venger wrote:
TheGoggles wrote:
Venger wrote:
Aaendi wrote:
If there is anything that makes them feel slightly uncomfortable, they blow it out of proportion, by comparing everything to rape.


Many women that get mugged w/ wallet stolen probably try to claim it was "attempted rape" just cause they be pervs or something.


Errr, no. Unless the offender explicitly grabbed at the breast or genital area of their victim, in which case the prosecutor would likely tack on a sexual assault charge. But even then, it's iffy as to whether that count would stick unless it was caught on surveillance or there were witnesses.


ikr, I'm sure the cop immediately says something like: "that wasn't a sex-crime, you just got mugged idiot". Good way for the woman to try and dramatize it though.


Annnd that's not how it works. The arresting officer takes statements, files a report, and the charges are then submitted to the court system. If the defendant chooses to plead guilty, they're sentenced. If they don't, it has to be proven that they committed the crime beyond any reasonable doubt.

Unless you're a minority, in which case you could be in trouble whether or not you did it.



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31 Jan 2014, 1:44 pm

Quote:
I also hear a lot of women making rape jokes that target men, and use excuses like "oh but, it's not technically rape if a woman does it".

I think this is just a s***ty excuse for making female-on-male rapes look "more acceptable".
Female-on-male rape is pretty rare (or at least few men report having been raped by women) but it's just as bad as male-on-female rape and it should be punished in the same way. Rape it's rape, it's never enjoyable even if it's a woman doing that to a man, and I think that when men comment on female-on-male rape articles online with stuff like "can't anyone rape me?" or "he was a lucky guy" they either have no idea of what rape it's like or are real idiots. My father escaped a rape assault when he was 19 just because he was quick enough to hit on the head the large woman that was trying to assault him. This is why he decided to never accepts lifts again from strangers at night, no matter if they were males or females. My father didn't know something like that could happen before that experience and despites it he still has difficulty taking all female-on-male rape cases seriously.

Anyway, I quote Dantac on the fact that no one really takes rape seriously/really understands what rape is until they get that happening to them and on the fact that there are many kinds of rape.



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31 Jan 2014, 3:12 pm

I'm very uncomfortable with this thread. Rape is a rape, and for me, absolutely not a subject to be joked about. I think the OP seriously underestimates how difficult it is to get even a genuine rapist convicted. Serious amount of evidence is required and that is not always available, even when one is obviously guilty. Large portion of rapists never get convicted and even larger portion never gets reported, often due to victim being afraid of the consequences by doing so. You'd probably be surprised how much bullying and bashing the rape victims often get.

There are a lot of morons, males and females, joking about things that really shouldn't be joked about and making inappropriate remarks. Statistically there are very few women who actually report rape that never happened.

If you think such jokes are difficult to handle (to be falsely reported has to be utter hell, though), try to imagine being a victim that never received justice or credibility.

Here's a very worthwhile website, with both female and male victims:

http://projectunbreakable.tumblr.com/

Lastly, I think this topic is fairly different in context and gravity to men thinking with their dicks (I didn't read the thread, but it sounds more of joking, a lighthearted one) but I think generalizations should overall be avoided.


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31 Jan 2014, 3:13 pm

I had this discussion with my ex one time. I asked him how he would feel if I jumped on him while he was asleep (guys are pretty reliably erect in the morning before they wake up). To my surprise he said he would feel violated. I am so glad I checked. :oops:



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31 Jan 2014, 3:14 pm

TheGoggles wrote:
As someone with ASD and severe anxiety, I can empathize with your fear of false accusation. But it's far rarer than you're making it out to be, and the prosecution needs some kind of compelling evidence to prove that you're guilty beyond any reasonable doubt. With DNA evidence as advanced as it is, false accusations are even harder to get away with.

Unless you're a minority, in which case you might be in a bit more danger. Like that guy who was on his way to joining the NFL before he was falsely accused of rape. The woman later said that she lied, and he was released from prison after several years. All of the money she received in civil damages wasn't repaid because she had already spent it all, and she was never punished. This isn't a common occurrence, though, and I'm sure the defendant being an African American man didn't help his chances.


this is irrelevant. If you get arrested for a sex crime that is unexpungable and you will never hold gainful employment again. It doesn't matter what they can or cannot prove because that decision is made on instinct by the arresting officer.


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Aaendi
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31 Jan 2014, 6:30 pm

Lilya wrote:
Statistically there are very few women who actually report rape that never happened.


Somebody has never been to Harper College in Palatine, IL. Women accuse me of rape nonstop and they always come up with insane reasoning, such as seeing me in the cafeteria at 12:00 and assuming that I followed her in there. In fact, it happened to me yesterday by a group of 5 girls, and that is why I made this thread in the first place.



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31 Jan 2014, 8:08 pm

Aaendi wrote:
Lilya wrote:
Statistically there are very few women who actually report rape that never happened.


Somebody has never been to Harper College in Palatine, IL. Women accuse me of rape nonstop and they always come up with insane reasoning, such as seeing me in the cafeteria at 12:00 and assuming that I followed her in there. In fact, it happened to me yesterday by a group of 5 girls, and that is why I made this thread in the first place.


well that is different from rape, but yeah that happens. Because some aspies have non-standard body language and eye contact people are creeped out by them and get worked up over nothing. Usually what happens is one girl with an overactive imagination starts spreading rumors or tells a joke that is taken seriously and it snowballs. Don't know what to do about it other than have a different female friend be seen in public with you interacting normally, and even that doesn't always work. Just don't try and explain the situation to anyone. No one will ever believe that the behavior is unwarranted.

I had a situation on a public bus once where I was dosing off and this girl started screaming at me to stop looking at her. People started being suspicious of me and told me to stop so I moved to a seat facing the other way but she kept accusing me. At this point the other passengers concluded she was mentally unstable and began ignoring her. I have had 2 friends endure rape who I talked to about it and so I concluded that this girl had gone through some kind of trauma and convinced a collected female passenger to talk to her and get her to call a support person about it. It turned out my intuition was right. But the person was still suspicious of me for having such a specific intuition and for caring about a stranger enough to get help for them so I stopped talking until my stop.


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