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Joined: 2 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 14

04 Feb 2014, 12:06 am

I've been diagnosed for awhile, but I just found out I had it.

I'm really disappoint that my parents didn't tell me all these years. I was clueless to the fact I had it, I just figured it out today, on accident. All these years without knowing I had it. Now, I have to add more to my list.

I'm already struggling with a few things,but to find this out, devastates me. No wonder why people hate me,& bully me.


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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,645
Location: Long Island, New York

04 Feb 2014, 1:15 am

I am sorry you had to find out in this manner.

Okay take a deep breath.

I can tell you this, you probably do not need to add Autism to your "list' of issues because your "list" is likely mostly about Autism anyway. As you find out about what Autism is all about a lot of things that were mysteries will now get explained. Once you understand why things happened the way they did you can devise coping strategies. Whatever you have been through there are people here who have also been through those same things. For instance pretty much all of us have been bullied.

Please ask us questions no matter how "stupid" you think they are.

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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


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Joined: 28 Jan 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 596
Location: The Dire Swamp, NW UK

04 Feb 2014, 2:40 am

Don't be disappointed in your parents, there could be a benevolent or just plain ignorant reason for them withholding that information from you. Given that autism is poorly understood, even among autistic folk (me included) I think we can forgive people for their ignorance.

Have you considered that one or both of your parents is on the spectrum? How about your grandparents? Autistic people have been thriving and breeding for generations, apparently, without any of the modern labels we have. Would being labelled as autistic have helped or hindered them?

You have the opportunity to discuss this with your parents, for this I am quite jealous.

With the benefit of hindsight - knowing how shy and introverted and self-obsessed I was I might have reacted very negatively to an ASD diagnosis as a child or a teenager. I wasn't flagged until my 30s, by then I was comfortable enough with myself to actually celebrate the fact that I was different.

You'll probably find that most people don't hate you, there's a chance you misinterpret them and they misinterpret you. If there's some genuine hate for you, take it as flattery. If anyone is stupid enough to judge you / avoid you because of your differences, be grateful that you've had the opportunity to see their 'true colours'. Think of your ASD not as a barrier, but as a filter for scum.

Regarding bullies, if you're not willing or able to stand up for yourself you need to speak to someone in authority (a teacher, boss, or even the police depending on age / situation / severity of bullying) and ask them to help. Learn to spot and confront bullies now, or you will be an easy target for the rest of your life.