I thought life was a bizarre trick as a small child

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Because everyone treated me like I was "ret*d" and non-verbal, which I was non-verbal granted. BUT I realized that I was not ret*d on the inside, I existed in the inside of my head even if others couldn't see it.

So I started getting paranoid, what was going on? I wondered if people would get angry if I revealed I could speak, or if it was a test. The incongruity of the way people treated me and how I knew I was made me wonder if life was a test, at some point everyone would stop the world would stop and I'd get told whether I passed or failed.

But then around age six I started being verbal and my parents proclaimed me cured and from that day forward nothing was wrong with me, and I was never diagnosed with AS or autism.

EDIT:Oh and it gave me a lot of experience observing people, I shared almost nothing in common with them so it was odd. I literally felt like I was on the wrong planet, and if the others find out will they kill me? What will happen to me?

My sister who was much older had friends who assumed I was a mental vegetable basically, they talked as if I was not there in the room because they assumed I could not know or repeat what they said. Sometimes they even used drugs assuming I couldn't be aware, but inside I was kind of laughing because I was like if I wanted to get you busted I COULD.

Anyone else ever feel like you were there but trapped inside your brain?

Ever consider getting diagnosed to see if/where you are on the spectrum?

You say you had a serious language delay. That's not common with Aspies, but it is with classic autism.

You say in your profile you're an 'undiagnosed Aspie'. Could it be time to find out?

PS
How are you with other autistic symptoms?

I'm surprised your doctor never said anything; over the course of six years, throughout your checkups, it would be odd for him to think nothing was wrong when you never spoke, even in the 1980's. I'm a little concerned that in all that time your parents never got you help either. Even in Temple Gradin's day, delayed language ability was recognised as a potentially serious problem and addressed with speech therapy. How did you get through kindergarten and first grade without ever saying anything? Didn't your teachers express concern? It seems rather irresponsible of your parents to just leave you without any language for the first six years of your life without ever trying to figure out what was wrong.

When you revealed you could speak, did they actually get angry?
And did you get anyone in trouble?

I still often feel like it's one big quiz out there, but hardly anyone cares what your answers are if they do not meet their expectations.
(Some exclusions may apply!)

To clarify the non-verbal thing, I did use what I think is called jargon and a crude personal language in my fourth and fifth years. But obviously only my parents could understand it, and because of this my mom insists I was normal(she also tells people I was ret*d).

No one reacted badly to me revealing I could speak and had been aware for years, if anything my parents were happy. I'm not really angry at them for how poorly they handled this, they were very old in their forties when I was born and are culturally different. They feared I would end up in an institution, so they just felt ok he is talking the end.

I feel very foolish now because at the time I somehow expected they should see that I was really inside my head, and if they could not then what was wrong with them? I mean looking back on it I feel foolish, I was definitely in the wrong and should have made more effort to speak.

I think it was the very exaggerated emotions and gestures that people used in everyday life that made me wonder if everyone was putting on an act for me, because it seemed very fake and surreal.