I never would have been able to ask a person in real life what they meant by the way they were speaking about me at 13, I can and do now when I am confused and if I trust the person.
Or I ask someone else I do trust. It helps, a lot.
It would be great if all parents and all therapists were perfect, but even the best won't get everything perfectly right all the time.
I still think good for you, Serena, asking us online, anonymously, for help understanding. Try to ignore the grown up bickering, we have often been misunderstood, it probably brings out strong reactions in us that you shouldn't have to worry about. The important thing is you are trying, in your own way, in your own time, to understand the people around you and yourself. If you are able to do this and still feel good about yourself (that is the part I don't have) you will be moving forward. Appreciate yourself for this!!
And since I get lost how to go about things, and people sometimes offer me wording that helps, I will offer you my suggestion Serena that if you want to ask, you could say "Mom, it sounded like the counselor thought you were upset. I don't understand. Are you upset?" Or to the counselor, since this is what started the issue, "How are these questions about the video important? To me it seems like just a video. Please help me understand, I am confused."
Whether or not your mother is upset is one issue, but please don't get lost in thinking that you have to be able to learn from and use videos to learn about social interactions. I think maybe you can learn more from real life (finding out what is going on with the counselor and your mom) that will be useful than from any videos. Just take your time and observe or ask directly. And maybe the counselor can help you in a different way. See what happens next. One episode of confusion could just be trying something new, if it doesn't work, moving on. I think you have to wait and see!
06 Feb 2014, 7:13 am
