Keep being misinterpreted online

Post Reply New Topic

Lately I say jokey things and some people seem to take it seriously. Or I'll just say anything and people misinterpret it. I know sometimes we all make mistakes but it has happened a few times before and I now feel I hate to write everything down specifically, because of the fear of someone being offended.

Last week I got upset with someone (who I don't have on Facebook), and on Facebook I put something like ''God, some people are so ignorant.'' So one of my male friends, who was concerned, sent me a private message asking if everything was OK, because I don't normally complain about things on Facebook. The conversation went exactly like this, written exactly how it was wrote (with the punctuation and everything):

Friend: Is everything all right? x
Me: Yes, just had a bit of trouble with some b***h today xx
Friend: Aww, I hope you stood up for yourself xx
Me: Yep I did I told her 'today I learnt you were a complete a***hole' lol xx
Friend: Thanks Jo, if u mean me

The bolded bit was what threw me. He thought what I said referred to him, when by the way it was written I was obviously talking about the person I had the argument with. I put ''lol'' because I know that this friend always says I should stand up for myself, and I was glad I said that to the person I had the argument with because that did put her in her place, and I knew he would like it if I told him what I said to her (because she was nasty to me). Also if it was referring to my male friend why would I of put ''lol'' and two kisses? Also it was the way I wrote it too, I used speech marks and everything. So I had to explain myself in the private message saying ''no, I meant the woman I had an argument with''. He then put a reply back saying ''OK Jo, all is forgiven, I could never stay mad at you, you are a good friend and I'm so pleased you stood up for yourself, show her what you're made of!''
So I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding but I'd have thought he would automatically know what I mean when I wrote about what I said to this woman.

This man is only an online friend, he lives far away and I've been chatting to him on Facebook for a few years. Maybe he's Dyslexic or something and so could misread things sometimes.

Does anyone else get misinterpreted online, or have the fear of writing things in case you might get misinterpreted, no matter how clear you write?

Yeah, I think it's pretty common for most everyone, even for NTs, since tone and intent don't always come across as intended.

For example, I have a dry sense of humor and it's even drier when typed. You really have to know me well to understand that I'm trying to be funny/sarcastic/etc.

I get misinterpreted online so often it is not funny, I have even gotten in the habit of posting another post after the person questions "did I break into mandarin again? dang" (and I leave it just like that even though I tag all of my other stuff #sarcasm)

people seem to be very much in the habit of skimming what they get - interpreting it however they want to feel about the subject - and then flaming you with whatever they want to force you to do/believe

it is the same IRL, people don't listen - they are thinking of what they want to say to you while you are talking - so they never hear what you had to say.

many times I just want to give up, but I don't really want to be completely alone for the rest of my life

I don't think there's even 1 regular internet user on the entire internets that never got misinterpreted. Sometimes it's the writers fault, sometimes the readers fault and sometimes a bit of both. This happens often in communities where there is a mixture of many non-English countries. It's quite common with European communities.

Not really. I Just explain it to the person what I really meant if he/she misinterpreted it.

you are taking this wrong - see happening again!

of course everyone has certain things occur once or twice in life, the idea here is it something that happens extremely often or far too often.

more often than not I get misinterpreted

Yeah, I con get badly interpreted online that even with good intention, I can fall into the trap of elaborate rules, interpret jokes as a threat to forum security, get banned for stating facts and offend people while being polite and helpful and there's no way I can elaborate myself to get out of that situation without losing trust, be seen in a bad light, seem immature and wreck my reputation and good standing.

It's a shame that could mirror real life and I have absolutely no way in knowing what I'm doing wrong without someone else pointing out my misdeeds.

Hi.
This is one of the things that puzzles me.

I'm gonna share a quick episode that occurred just now. Most of the people in the office are males, few here are females. There's this guy that, as he says, likes to eat (food and the opposite sex). He seems more refined when it comes to food. He just asked if i liked tuna. We don't usually talk, so I was like "what?'". "Tuna, do you like tuna?". As they sometimes use this "guys' code", I couldn't tell if he was serious or making fun (if it was really about tuna or something fishy), and I didn't want to give an answer that could be misinterpreted (aka interpreted the way he wanted to). I told him the question was odd and made no sense - we don't usually talk and I didn't have a reason to give him an answer. He replied "ok, the mistery will remain, we will never know if you like tuna".
NT's may master speech and have communication skills beyhond my abilities, but that doesn't mean they make sense all the time

(...freakin' tuna... )

It's possible for anyone to get misinterpreted online. Text is a flat medium, there is no emotion or tonal variation.

I find smilies are helpful.

Did I really just misinterpret something in a thread about misinterpreting? My bad!

It happens quite often for me too but that is to be expected when you browse forums with a language you didn't grow up with.

that is a different situation than for myself, it occurs for me and I have complained and one person asked if English was my native language, it is my only language - keep trying to learn others and fail miserably

yeah, it sounds bizzare, it could also be some weird insult or sexual compliment. Where the something fishy could be a reference to body odor or sex organs. It depends on cultures I think.

Hi.
It just thought it would be pertinent to this subjec to clarify it was "real" tuna (the fish) after all. Seems they found a new restaurant, hence the subject. I gather I was to foccused on work or they started the chat elsewhere and continued near me, so I missed the context/beggining.

Anyway, some behaviours/conversations NT's have can be confusing, even for other NT's, less alone to Aspies

Question: do they even bother to think about it?...

in my experience no,, and even worse - they look at you and treat you like an idiot for asking for clarification.