Just found out im Asexual

Post Reply New Topic

i was expressing my concerns to my therapist about not wanting to be a boy and not wanting to be a girl, he said like most aspies, im more than likely Asexual, and i agreed with him.

it also explains why im so reluctant about having sex and also dont really desire it either. (although i had a very high sex drive when i was 13, but it ended quickly)

so now i know

It's good that you have come to finding out now.

It took me years to come to terms with it. I've put myself through f*****g hell because I didn't understand what was going on.

I'm very proud of you.

ZombieBride, you might be a little young to know that for sure, but then it's much easier not to spend your life trying to be something you never wanted to be.

Zombiebride,

Asexual is not wanting to have sex. Non-binary gender of many varieties is usually about not being a boy or a girl. If you don't have a gender at all that's usually agender or genderless, but there are other possibilities (bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc).

wozeree's incorrect, though. For some reason, a lot of people are perfectly accepting of cisgender, heterosexual teens being correct in their evaluations of who they are in terms of sex and gender, but any deviation from that tends to receive responses like "you might be a little young to know that for sure." This is generally false, even though it is often well meaning and well intentioned.

You know who you are and what you want. That might change in the future, it might not. Do what you think is best because you know you better than we do.

I'm also asexual. I've never really had any desire for a sexual relationship with another person. I didn't know there was a term for it until a few years ago.

Seeing people chase other people around trying to have sex with them is one of those things that completely baffled me. When I hear someone talk about lying to someone and pretending to be interested in them just to have sex with them disgusts me. It seems really silly to me when I see people do stupid stuff to have sex.

It's interesting you should create this thread; I was considering making one just like it. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I'm asexual. I've never been in a relationship or even on a real date; the only time I ever came close to being on a date (it was research for a school project), it was awkward and uncomfortable. I didn't know what to talk about, and he held my hand but I just found it sweaty and gross, not to mention our height differences made me feel like I was holding my father's hand! I've never been kissed, and have no particular desire to be; I'm afraid of catching mono or something, plus from my experience with my parents when I was younger, kissing is just slimy and gross, I don't like thinking about other peoples' spit on my face! Whenever I think about what having sex would be like, my first thought is always, "How do I ask him if he's been tested for STDs?" usually followed by, "If he's on top, will he crush me?" (I'm very small so it would be easy to do.) I'm trying to decide if I'm "too young" to make such firm decisions about my sexuality; I don't want to box myself in, for instance, if I met a man I found attractive (there's no such thing as "hot" in my world), and thought I might want to be with him, I wouldn't want to shut the idea down with, "Oh, I'm asexual/aromantic." It's not really anything I've given much thought to before now, but the therapist doing my intake eval for my autism assessment asked me about my romantic life, and that was what I came up with. Now I can't stop thinking about it. Damn you obsessive thought patterns!

I've had a baby and I'm asexual.

There are also many different variations of asexuality.

Why don't you go to asexual and agender forums and see if you can relate to what to what they are discussing the in a similar manner to the way you relate to what we discuss?. But don't forget about us.

I have this bizarre mental image of otherwise complex organisms reproducing via mitosis.

I didn't realize I was asexual until I was 39, and had been married 13 years. I'm kind of slow.