gf catch 22

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its how my younger sister and my niece is, they were spoiled so they like guys who will continue that. they've tended to be with guys who emotional abuse them but give them gifts ugh.


the city next to us(connected) is a big liberal democrat college town.

how would becoming homeless decrease the debt? i wouldn't get the ssi anymore as no address, and i feel if the bank can get its debt wiped clean so should i. i mean they money they'd owed was the same money they lent to me, so it doesn't make sense if they wiped it clean i still owe it o.O

i don't want to date 90 year old guys, thank you very much and that's all one sees at my food bank.

i meet 1000s of women at my seasonal job, but there isn't a chance to try to bond or ask them out, plus 97% of them are way out of my league, also if i somehow did end up with one they and then it ended badly they could get me fired.

i have heard that women are better in other states like Montana, or Iowa etc, but i have no way to go there.

sorry they weren't kind


i'm just saying i would be like what i want in a lady
good job,
good car,
own nice place,
ahtletc and skinny
oh and good personality
stuff in common

wouldn't you women be offended by such a list? it clearly prioritizes items and wealth over personality and common interests.

sued twice and despite it being illegal they still call
total of like 20k, if i was able to make payments it'd take me 20+ years to pay it off, so i'm not going wait that long to look for love.

if i don't work i don't lose money,but i don't have any to spend, if i work part tiem i get some spending money, but don't make enough for them to deduct much from my checks

currently i don't have to do payments on the school debt cause i don't make enough so they put me on a plan for 3 years after that i can apply to have it wiped do to disability

i have plenty of time not alot of money to spend on hanging with friends, not that i have any. i have some set aside for dates, but i'm considering spending it cause its just being wasted.

so i can't find work and i can't do bankruptcy until i find work, so the debt is going no where and apparently bankruptcy won't clear it anymore it just sets up payments, if i find a job and i can prove that how much they take will prevent me from living the court can reduce payment size, currently they take 25% of my money after 418 for two weeks. ssi takes 50% so there went 75% of my money from work, now throw in the school debt which takes 25% so now i make nothing but still have expenses to work, oh and i'll lose the 150 i get for food stamps, so and now i feel sick. unless i find a job that pays $20+ an hour i'll never get out of the hole.

Man, I legitimately feel for you. I wish I could be more helpful, but I've never really looked into financial assistance/help for autism because my case is more or less manageable. I found a list of resources that looks promising at: http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-serv ... lts-autism

Google for things like "Financial resources for autistic adults" and contact as many people as possible.

@ sly279:
Ha, I didn't mean to become homeless, I was just thinking of ways to reduce costs. Maybe those old guys in the food bank line know some nice girls your age. They could probably teach you a thing or two. I don't know, maybe you have that all figured out. I think you should let a woman decide whether she's in your league or not, don't ruin your chances up front. There are a lot of really amazing women out there who don't get much action because everyone thinks she's out of his league. I don't know, maybe you have found out for sure already.
I understand that you have some financial problems, don't let them hold you back from finding someone. My parents were 10k-20k in credit card debt for most of my life. I don't even touch the darned things if I can help it.

thanks i guess

idk apparently i have no choice but to be depressed. theres just too much wrong with me to every be loved, unless i go and change 90% of who i am to possible please shallow women.

only solution i see now is to eventually kill myself, not today or this year but probably in a few years gives me time to prepare for it. think of a good way of doing it.

Your attitude of 'there's all this stuff wrong with me but I refuse to do anything about it' would make me pause before going out with you.

o.O only thing i'm not trying to change is my body.

despite it will put me in a worse situation I'm actively trying to find work and going try to get back into VR, i saved up and bought car so "don't have a car" wouldn't be a problem(also for employment stuff) I've changed my hair and bear style bunch of times to try to approve attraction(different women like different things)

also you wouldn't know a lot of this stuff or about my on and off depression if we'd meet for dating. on dates i come off as confident and fun. its getting there thats the problem

I didn't use to think there was much wrong with me until i started trying to date was always ashamed of aspergers but that was about it.

THOSE ARE NOT FLAWS. Not having a car can be blamed on the system and nobody cares anyway. Nobody cares about the things you listed. It's more just an excuse. And just to note that dinosaurs never died out and still live happily among us. Well, not exactly among us but they're there. Even if someone knew that place existed, they wouldn't reveal it. Mainly because of the other things that are there.

the list I made is almost exact to the list that almost every woman list as their base requirements to even contacting them.

I have a car, its just not a BMW.

^ That's craziness, not ONE of those things makes my list of base requirements for contacting me. Surely I'm not so completely different to "almost every woman" out there. I think you really need to reassess this perspective you have.

on at least 60% of dating profiles and almost all Craigslist ads they list that. though some do it in sentences. I wish it was just me being crazy. glad you don't maybe there's some hope. oh and most don't list the no gf(that comes later), as for the no sex its in some okc questions. ie would you date a virgin, would you prefer a virgin or someone with experience ... etc

but the
must have
job
nice car,
own house(alone)
athletic /skinny
handsome.

I guess its like a "must be this tall to ride this ride" lol in a sad way

its funny cause the same women list they want romance not sex, and they're tired of only getting guys who want sex, so since they only talk to guys who have the above. it seems to me their type wants sex, but they won't stop asking for those guys why?

my list of what i want in a woman, don't have any of those. its based of personality types and interests. o.O I feel so wrong, i guess i should base my love interests off material things instead. though maybe its cause I'm not in the position to ?

none the less I must be the only one to see the irony in

"i only want to be loved" or and "this, this, this, this, this) only want love and then a list of things a guy must have seems to contradict . like if I said I only wanted pizza tonight then also said i want hamburgers, hotdogs, lasagna and ice cream .

but it could just be my area, but i also feel it has to do with kids being spoiled and raised to believe they're better then others. I think this will only become a more common thing. I also know they keep posting and looking cause we live in a area with unemployment on the rise and in a poorer area, we aren't Portland. people aren't rich here. those who are are few and already married, or only want sex.

ones who piss me off are the ones saying where are the guys that will treat women with respect, love them, care for them, and not want just sex.
I want to raise my hand and say I'm right here, but I"m not tall enough to ride the ride(fugitive, I'm 6'3" and growing)


can i ask you though would you date a guy without a job, own house, and nice car?

if so i wish there were more women like you.

Most guys I have dated have had a job. I guess a job would be semi-important so that he was financially stable enough to be a happy person. But if he gets by just fine without a job, that's okay. If he wants a job, I would want him to be looking for one. I pay my own way even when I have a partner, so I don't want his money.
I don't think many guys I have dated have owned their own house. Most lived out of home, but I've dated guys living at home to save up to buy a house. Personally, I'm not interested in home ownership so I don't really care about it.
Most guys I have dated have driven average cars. I may be a little turned off buy a guy driving an expensive, wanky car. It's a waste of money IMO, but if he was passionate about the car, that's okay. I would date a guy without a car, if he was getting by without one.

So the main theme I think when I look at the above is that I want him to be personally content, as in, he has the things he needs to be happy within himself, or if he doesn't he is working towards getting them. Plus I'm not interested in dating a guy who sits at his parents' home all day, playing computer games, getting money from the government because he is too lazy to get a job. It's all about context.

Do I sound particularly unusual? Maybe...

by own home, I don't think they mean owned only, but renting, living alone.
I rent a house with my family, when i move they'll have to too and they might not find a place and will have to put animals down more then likely.

I don't get money cause I'm lazy, i get it cause I'm disabled
I tried hard for a year and a half to find work, I went to school for 4 years. I love working its depressing not to work, but no one will hire me. I have a seasonal job that I look forward to going to every 3 months, even if it causes some stress during. I'm still trying to find work, although taking a different route as doing it myself has clearly failed.

I don't want to tell women I'm on SSI cause then if they don't run away, I"d have to explain whats messed up about me. that cause them to run out of miss knowledge.

as for playing games, its certainly better then sitting around depressed until i reach a point of hurting myself. not to mention I need something to keep from going crazy.

but i guess this is why women view me as trash. To be honest if not for being diagnosed I'd had died doing some good. At least then my worthless life would have meant something and I wouldn't be around to deal with be judged by women who are some times in worst situations then me(not you.) but no I'm not even good enough to die for my nation. "tears"

I wasn't talking about you in my post, sorry if you thought I was referring to you. I was talking in general terms. You don't sound lazy to me.

There's one way to solve this that's guaranteed to work, and that's going for one-night stands before going for relationships. Be sure to never let any of the one-night stands know that you're a virgin, and just accept that the first few times will be awkward. To get a one-night stand, dating sites come in handy. A lot of girls who look promiscuous on online dating sites, are just that in real life. It's a generalization, but it's gotten me laid before--and I'm a strict teetotaler.



I agree that this is unfair, but you can't blame individual girls for it either. This is social conditioning.

I wasn't sure, but I also feel bad when I hear that stuff. I have strong conservative friends who post stuff like that on face book. I tend to feel lumped in just cause I'm on SSI, add to that that I don't like being on it, I have a real independence nature. I do ask for help though cause I'm logical. But I'd prefer to be self sufficient. I only want a SO for the emotional connection, help on some stuff I guess. I don't need anyone to cook, clean or do stuff for me. I like to do it myself.
Its actually a concern I have when I talk to a woman who loves to cook. They like "I love cooking for my bf or I'd love to have someone to cook for." I want to cook for them maybe cook together for romantic cooking.

nothing happen how i wanted. I wanted to finish high school and join the military right away. I would have been indpendent and some women love men in uniform.

SSI makes it really difficult to get off of it. I shouldn't be too upset as if it wasn't for it, I'd be homeless and starving. yet still my disorder and SSI cause so much problems. I feel like a bum from the way women treat me.

If my plan had gone thru , I would likely be dead. I have terrible luck with combat, so I wouldn't have lasted long. Even so I feel the short life would have been better.


I hope i didn't upset you, I didn't mean to. I just see stuff like that a lot from my friends. They'll be like oh you're the exception. I'm just like well if I'm ok then isn't it possible there's tons others like me. I'm a big failure though. year and a half trying to find work, nothing, but 3 interviews, one week of paid work. apparently it's suppose to be easy and yet I can't do it. I feel like women look at me and think or hes just as bad as a homeless guy.

what if they didn't and they gave me a shot. What if i made them super happy, and eventually got a job. for the record I have a job, but its not good enough as its seasonal. hard not to feel worthless trash when faced with that from women day after day.

At least some have the decently to put it up front. I don't like the ones where i read thru and get so excited" like wow this girl is perfect match for me and I seem to meet he wants. Maybe I can be loved" only to see at the bottom the dreaded list.

I just don't get how someone could ignore a person that would make them so happy, matches their personality and interests so well. Just over material things that shouldn't matter as much. looks fade, money is paper, items rust. but a good friend is there from worst to greatness, thru dark storms. It also makes me upset how they've built this resentment in me. this feeling that no woman will ever love me unless I have money. I don't want that kind of woman. A fair weather woman. I want someone who can love you when you're at your worse cause if they can't why should they deserve you at your best.

you seem like a nice lady. so I don't mean to direct any of this at you.