Victims are shunned upon
"Stop being a victim"
That's the most used sentence I hear on the internet.
Being a victim of a crime is the only victim that doesn't get shunned upon, yet.
Everyone else who are victims of some sort or the other, be it victim of abuse (legal abuse, such as being spanked as a child), or victim of an illness or
victim of the unfair government decisions, are being shunned upon. The very word "victimization" has a negative connotation these days.
I think we are on a VERY dangerous path here. Because if you can't excuse yourself from duties, because of illness, what else have you left back?
It's not one's fault to fall ill!
Examples of victims getting shunned at:
* Tibet
* Peaceful activists getting arrested for peacefully protesting.
* People in favor of government welfare.
* Conscientious Objectors.
* The sick and/or disabled, mostly those mentally ill or mentally handicapped.
We live in a society (USA) where if your life isn't how you wish it to be or if something bad happens to you, you are a "victim" of someone else's bad act.
Sometimes this is true, but in most every situation, the "victim" bears some of the blame. Sometimes, the "victim" is to blame for their own mess.
Like anything else, when you throw it about too liberally, it becomes meaningless.
To tell someone they are a "victim" so they can blame someone else rather than do some painful self-reflection is not only not helping them, but it degrades the status of "victim" for those who legitimately are victims.
It would be better (imo) if certain people would stop playing the victim -- people who, for whatever reason, seem to think that every conversation, every relationship, and every aspect of their lives simply must center on their victimhood.
True, there are some traumatic experiences that may keep a person firmly rooted in one emotional state, forcing them to relive, over and over, the memories of that trauma; also, there are some traumas that leave a person mentally or physically disabled -- these people are not just "playing the victim", since they are REAL victims.
For example, some people who "Play the Victim" may start every conversation with "I can never get a date" or "No one will give me a job", and then ignore every attempt to advise them on how they can make themselves more attractive or employable.
Another example might be a person who provokes others into attacking them so that they can play the victim and complain about being attacked (i.e., Internet Trolls).
Everyone is a victim of something ("You are still a victim of the accident you lead / Sure as I'm a victim of desire!" -- Billy Joel), so why should anybody want to present themselves as "More Victimly Than Thou"?
Notice how the people who spite them manage to victimize themselves? "I work full time and have to support my etc. while all these scum are living off the taxes I pay. I work so hard oh woe me".
Ironic?
Even worse, they claim that that they are not shunning at the victims, they are merely "re-defining" victims.
Being the ones who claim that being the strongest/fittest should grant them better political privileges (such as the right to vote) than those who cannot provide for themselves and have to rely on
government welfare, who in turn should be stripped off their basic civil rights, such as voting in liberal democracies.
These same people also claim the restricting the right to vote for the welfare recipients, makes a society more liberal/free.
What happens in reality is that a lot of people are banned from entering politics, and a lot of people have to work under henious conditions in work/poor houses.
These same people who proclaim their ideal goal is "liberty" are nothing, but hypocrites!
I have noticed this too and I think it means "take responsibility and do something about it." I have also heard "playing the victim" and to me it means someone does something wrong and refuses to take responsibility about their consequence.
Like my husband suffers from pain, people may say he is being the victim meaning he isn't doing anything to fix it or to make his situation better so when they say "he needs to stop being the victim here" they mean he needs to do something about his pain, go get on insurance and go to a doctor, go to a pain clinic.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
This comment clearly illustrates my post. Thank you for providing an example.
It's EXACTLY this: "Whining about your disadvantages doesn't generate sympathy".
It should!
Why someone would go looking for the semantics of a phrase in one of the ocular appendages of an aberration that shoots disintegrate and death rays just by looking at you is beyond me...
For the most part, yes. But there are some people who go beyond "reporting an adverse event" to "never shutting up about an adverse event."
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If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
Modest Mouse - The View
It's not victim-hood per se, it's a certain helpless negativity from people who not only claim that all their problems are the fault of being victimized, but that they are themselves powerless to do anything about it that is off-putting. No one likes to listen to someone who does nothing but complain and won't even try to make things better.
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“The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental.”
-- Robert Anton Wilson
Notice how the people who spite them manage to victimize themselves? "I work full time and have to support my etc. while all these scum are living off the taxes I pay. I work so hard oh woe me".
Ironic?
This.
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"You have a responsibility to consider all sides of a problem and a responsibility to make a judgment and a responsibility to care for all involved." --Ian Danskin
Instead, you are supposed to shut up about any problems that you have, that social and other factors may be contributing to, take them all upon yourself, and let the privileged live a guilt-free life and ignore the elephants in the room.
If you end up being further victimized, then well that is just YOUR fault and no one else's.
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"You have a responsibility to consider all sides of a problem and a responsibility to make a judgment and a responsibility to care for all involved." --Ian Danskin
Like my husband suffers from pain, people may say he is being the victim meaning he isn't doing anything to fix it or to make his situation better so when they say "he needs to stop being the victim here" they mean he needs to do something about his pain, go get on insurance and go to a doctor, go to a pain clinic.
It's highly abused, though.
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"You have a responsibility to consider all sides of a problem and a responsibility to make a judgment and a responsibility to care for all involved." --Ian Danskin