I hate myself for some reason right now.

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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 21 Aug 2013
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 66

14 Feb 2014, 11:21 am

Since this is the random section, anything goes. This is not a poem or anything. It's a random stitching of sentences.

I don't know why but i feel so depressed.
I feel like I'm stupid and I'm not so impressed.
I don't want to talk to anyone but I would love to socialize.
Is it me or I just don't want to vocalize.

I talk to myself for some reason.
Maybe I'm schizophrenic.
I have my own world where I feel safe.
Who needs friends when nobody likes your taste?

They say I'm expressionless.
In reality I'm not aware of it.

I think I'm not insane.
I'm just borderline but that's just lame.
I like stuff that's beyond the limits
But i think that's fine, just as long as I'm near it.

I obsess when it comes to being clean.
It's unruly since I look like a total slob.

I told my mum that I have aspergers.
She said, "don't be silly, you look totally fine. Here, eat a burger".
Same goes for my relatives, "You look all to normal".
By they don't realize that they know nothing about me.

It feels weird that nobody believes you.
Because they have no idea about it.
Well I can't do anything about it since my mom wouldn't pay a psychiatrist have me checked.
She says "You're gonna do fine in life, no need to spend money on such nonsense."

What right does she have to tell me that? Can she tell the future? Does she know how I feel?
Does she have any idea on how much this kills me everyday thinking you're a substandard human just because you can't do normal stuff.
That there's no explanation as to why and you just suck as a person in general.
Does she have any idea that I try hard to form sentences correctly and expressing myself?
Can't she see that I have no friend my entire childhood? No. Because she's at abroad the whole time.

Just because she can't see it it doesn't mean I don't have it.
And not just her, everyone I know is the same story.

Everyone thinks that I'm looking for attention. Do they not realize that I try to stay away from people as much as I can?
That I hate to be noticed by people?

That's all for now. Good thing I'm not suicidal yet.



CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
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Location: Hanging out with my fellow Sweet Peas at Stalag 13

14 Feb 2014, 11:57 am

That's a very good poem and I hope you never get suicidal. :)


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