Page 2 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

B19
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jan 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,390
Location: New Zealand

20 Feb 2014, 5:45 am

Until recently I was really sad about my isolated life. I had two best friends years ago. We were friends for years until they married. Then I was dumped, part of this (I think) was that I was still on my own and they only wanted to socialise with other couples, and (possibly) because they regarded me as embarrassing. The past few years were extremely lonely and depressing, until someone told me about a Meet Up group for socially anxious people. I had really low expectations of fitting in there, either, and it was really challenging for me to join and get to a meeting. But it has worked out really well, there's quite a few aspies in the group I go to, and the people in it are sincere, open, genuine, thoughtful and inclusive. The conversations are real, not small talk, and the group members really care about each other. Everyone there has come from a background of painful past experience so there is a deep well of understanding and sensitivity. For the first time in my life, I am part of a social group where I fit in and am accepted as an equal with respect and kindness. This is just the group I go to, of course, and I don't know what other groups in other countries would be like. However if you are as desperate for connection as I was, after years of isolation, it may be worth a try.



Stannis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2014
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,631

20 Feb 2014, 6:15 am

I've heard friendship defined as someone who likes your company, who puts your interests on an even keel with their own. I like this definition. The former might waiver, but the latter always needs to be present. Observing supposedly normal people interact with their supposed friends, I sometimes wonder if friendship between NT's is something that is going extinct. I don't see a lot of evidence for it.



Marky9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,626
Location: USA

20 Feb 2014, 7:48 am

JacobV wrote:
Maybe antidepressants aren't the answer.... maybe all we need is a friend.


For me that best solution has been: both.

When I am in an episode of depression, I (almost by definition) am unable to summon the motivation to invest in friendship. Antidepressants help to lift my depressive symptoms enough that I can marshal the desire and energy to seek and sustain friendships.


_________________
"Righteous indignation is best left to those who are better able to handle it." - Bill W.


AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 54,330
Location: Portland, Oregon

20 Feb 2014, 3:36 pm

No friends = depression for me as well.

Being pressured to have friends = depression and anxiety.


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!