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MusicalWonders
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19 Feb 2014, 11:37 pm

I generally don't like greetings much. I hate it when I wake up and my Moms says "hi" to me. I don't mind exchanging a few greetings with strangers, though. Sometimes it makes me feel good.


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hyena
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19 Feb 2014, 11:46 pm

When my father wakes me up he says: get up. My mom is like: hi sweetie (with a big smile on her face). I prefer the latter, call me a hypocrite.

MusicalWonders wrote:
I generally don't like greetings much. I hate it when I wake up and my Moms says "hi" to me. I don't mind exchanging a few greetings with strangers, though. Sometimes it makes me feel good.



GregCav
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20 Feb 2014, 12:31 am

My greeting depends heavily on how well I know the person.

It does bother me to say hello to people I don't like. I try to be neutral and simply say "hi", or "good bye". I suspect they know I don't like them.

The other thing that bothers me even more is when a random person down the street that I've never met in my life and probably never will again says "hi" as you walk past.
First of all I was lost in my own thoughts and don't want you taking that away from me for no reason whatsoever. Second, I don't know you and i sure don't care about you one iota. I usually ignore these, even though they've already confused and upset me.

And I really wish random people standing near you wouldn't try to start up a conversation with me. Just shut up and let me enjoy the scenery.



droppy
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20 Feb 2014, 6:58 am

I forget to greet people unless they greet me first. I usually respond when someone greets me first unless I didn't hear them, I'm too overwhelmed or I'm in a bad mood and can't/don't want to talk.
I don't get offended when people don't greet me but people don't get offended either when I don't greet them. Sometimes I even prefer not being greeted (when I don't want to talk or can't do it).
I am ok with greetings. I have been bullied in middle school, and I can tell you that being told "hello, how are you?" even if it's automatic and they don't really listen to what I say is way better than being told "might you be raped on your way home" or being 'greeted' by people laughing at you and teasing you. I have gone through that s*** and I am not against greetings. I actually don't understand why some people hate greetings so much. If they had gone through what I have gone through, they wouldn't hate them that much or see them as a bad thing IMO.



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20 Feb 2014, 12:33 pm

Pobbles wrote:
The urge to greet 'stuff' isn't just a human quirk, NT or otherwise. I seems to be true of all social animals.

Example, my cats greet me when I come home, even if they already have access to food. The same is true when I visit dog-owning friends, I can barely get through the door and say "hello" to the human inhabitants before I'm greeted by a wagging tail and Fido trying to sniff my nuts.

It could be worse, folks. It could be much, much worse.
Imagine not being greeted by a customary "hello!" by your fellow human, and instead, being subjected to a good old arse sniffing, nuzzling, and rubbing.

I know what I'd prefer.


Or they could not make an effort to show someone that they're included, thought of, or remembered at all.

Damn them for being inclusive. Damn them all!



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20 Feb 2014, 6:56 pm

Marky9 wrote:
BirdInFlight wrote:
What does this woman WANT??


I have had some experience in dealing with people who are themselves on a tough self-improvement path. If she had a troubled family background, and reacts strongly in inauthentic response, then I would assume she is still dealing with a lot of emotional baggage.

I might think she has some dissonance going on. Her intellect tells her to want authenticity, but when she gets it she is emotionally unable to handle it. I do not envy her; it must be heck to live inside that kind of mental / emotional confusion.

In short, I might see it as her issue, not mine.


Marky9, thank you for this because it makes sense completely. I hadn't thought of it that way but, you're right, really this is her issue and it's me who is feeling bad, but I shouldn't.

Thanks for the perspective on that!

.



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20 Feb 2014, 11:42 pm

GregCav wrote:
My greeting depends heavily on how well I know the person.

It does bother me to say hello to people I don't like. I try to be neutral and simply say "hi", or "good bye". I suspect they know I don't like them.

The other thing that bothers me even more is when a random person down the street that I've never met in my life and probably never will again says "hi" as you walk past.
First of all I was lost in my own thoughts and don't want you taking that away from me for no reason whatsoever. Second, I don't know you and i sure don't care about you one iota. I usually ignore these, even though they've already confused and upset me.

And I really wish random people standing near you wouldn't try to start up a conversation with me. Just shut up and let me enjoy the scenery.


... and that's why the world is the friendly and pleasant place that it is


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21 Feb 2014, 1:04 am

hyena wrote:
Are you ever bothered with greeting some people?
I sometimes end up greeting people I have never had a serious conversation with in years, just so that they aren't offended. Oh how horrid this is. What use could it possibly be to say "hi" to someone for years when clearly neither side has any interest in getting closer. Yet if you do not do it they are offended. So you end up avoiding them and taking the other path whenever you see them. Sometimes neither side wants to greet the other but they unexpectedly come face to face and it is like they have no choice. This in one of the major reasons I do not like talking to strangers. The conversation may go nowhere, and I will have to greet them indefinitely. I wish we could just do away with the whole concept of greeting and talk to people when we have something useful to say. This is dishonest and useless. Please make it stop.


I concur. I find it very silly to engage in a two minute conversation with a random stranger on a bus about asenine and irrelevant subjects, then be expected to say hello to them like we're best friends every time I see them. My prosopagnosia means that nine times out of ten I won't recognise a stranger I talked to yesterday, so if they want a social greeting from me, they'll have to initiate it. I wish it would just stop too. I don't know why NTs put so much emphasis on "social talking" for talking's sake.


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21 Feb 2014, 1:10 am

Marky9 wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Really hate the "good morning" routine. we see each other everyday, why the need for a special greeting


The office "good morning" routine drives me nuts also. I mean, I just saw these people about 12 hours before, why go through the big good morning thing? What the heck could have meaningfully happened since we last saw each other? Geez. :roll:


I feel similarly about the "how was your day" routine. Most peoples' days are almost exactly the same day in and day out, why the need to check up on it every evening? If I have something important I want to share, rest assured I will, you don't have to ask. I should think people would get tired of me replying, "Relatively uneventful" every time they ask that question.


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