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RikkiK
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23 Feb 2014, 1:04 pm

I'm seeing an Aspie guy, I've posted on here a few times about him, he's wonderful and one of the first people I feel really connected with blah blah blah. I'm so into him and he's very affectionate and wants me around a lot, and we've even fooled around a little bit (which is a big deal for me, and for him too, as he's so asocial that he doesn't talk with other humans much, much less randomly hookup with women).

I get the sense that we're already at unspoken "dating" status with the way we are together, but I know I should get clarification from him on it, just so it's not a punch in the face if I'm somehow completely wrong. My thought process is that, it doesn't necessarily need to be named, as neither of us are the "dating" type, so asking whether or not we consider ourselves "single" is just sort of silly. Seriously, like I said, he's not the type to go out on the town with (or, you know, even have basic conversations with) hot wild women, and I just generally don't consider myself single since I've been seeing him.

I'm nervous about bringing it up, though. I'll probably wait another week or two, just because he's actually going to be gone for part of the next week and we won't get to see each other much inevitably. Is there any way I can make it less uncomfortable to broach with him? I've manged to ask a bit about his last gf, a friend of ours had mentioned that it ended really painfully for him. He obviously isn't the quickest to just spout his feeling and talk about things like that, so at first he was just like "yeah we dated for years and it ended badly/a lot of his friendships were ruined/dark time for him etc" but later on he let it slip that he had been cheated on. I can tell that whatever went on with all of that is a really sensitive subject for him, and I don't want to badger him about talking about things he doesn't want to. I know we'll talk about these things in due time, but seeing how he doesn't want to bring much of that up makes me worried about how he'll react to being asked if we're "exclusive" or whatever have you. Advice? Please?



Last edited by RikkiK on 23 Feb 2014, 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MadeUnderground
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23 Feb 2014, 2:09 pm

Just ask him what he thinks of the two of you.

Like, "So what do you think this is to you?" and gesture at the two of you or "What exactly are we to you?"

Or if you have a facebook, "What should I put on my relationship status?" Lol, it work for some people.

Or outright, "Are we exclusive?"



RikkiK
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23 Feb 2014, 2:39 pm

MadeUnderground wrote:
Just ask him what he thinks of the two of you.

Like, "So what do you think this is to you?" and gesture at the two of you or "What exactly are we to you?"


Good idea, I suppose I could slip it in more casually when we're together then I've been thinking. Agh I'm just so not used to these things :oops:

He doesn't have a facebook :p



MadeUnderground
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23 Feb 2014, 3:40 pm

RikkiK wrote:
MadeUnderground wrote:
Just ask him what he thinks of the two of you.

Like, "So what do you think this is to you?" and gesture at the two of you or "What exactly are we to you?"


Good idea, I suppose I could slip it in more casually when we're together then I've been thinking. Agh I'm just so not used to these things :oops:

He doesn't have a facebook :p


Doesn't matter if he does or not. If YOU do, you still have a relationship status which may or may not need changing.

I don't have a facebook either. Good for him. 8)



jwfess
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23 Feb 2014, 5:05 pm

I say just enjoy the relationship and see where it goes.

Asking him to definite it at this point may make him uncomfortable and think that you are being clingy or in desperate need of validation.



Erwin
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24 Feb 2014, 1:23 am

RikkiK wrote:
I'm seeing an Aspie guy, I've posted on here a few times about him, he's wonderful and one of the first people I feel really connected with blah blah blah. I'm so into him and he's very affectionate and wants me around a lot, and we've even fooled around a little bit (which is a big deal for me, and for him too, as he's so asocial that he doesn't talk with other humans much, much less randomly hookup with women).

I get the sense that we're already at unspoken "dating" status with the way we are together, but I know I should get clarification from him on it, just so it's not a punch in the face if I'm somehow completely wrong. My thought process is that, it doesn't necessarily need to be named, as neither of us are the "dating" type, so asking whether or not we consider ourselves "single" is just sort of silly. Seriously, like I said, he's not the type to go out on the town with (or, you know, even have basic conversations with) hot wild women, and I just generally don't consider myself single since I've been seeing him.

I'm nervous about bringing it up, though. I'll probably wait another week or two, just because he's actually going to be gone for part of the next week and we won't get to see each other much inevitably. Is there any way I can make it less uncomfortable to broach with him? I've manged to ask a bit about his last gf, a friend of ours had mentioned that it ended really painfully for him. He obviously isn't the quickest to just spout his feeling and talk about things like that, so at first he was just like "yeah we dated for years and it ended badly/a lot of his friendships were ruined/dark time for him etc" but later on he let it slip that he had been cheated on. I can tell that whatever went on with all of that is a really sensitive subject for him, and I don't want to badger him about talking about things he doesn't want to. I know we'll talk about these things in due time, but seeing how he doesn't want to bring much of that up makes me worried about how he'll react to being asked if we're "exclusive" or whatever have you. Advice? Please?

Yeah if you've been fooling around. Unless I got that part wrong.



Cafeaulait
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24 Feb 2014, 6:59 am

What do you mean you have been 'fooling around'???



Sacrieur
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24 Feb 2014, 11:28 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
What do you mean you have been 'fooling around'???


Sex.