Why do WP veterans write such huge posts?

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EzraS
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05 Mar 2014, 4:14 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
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Yeah but the OP is who I was talking about.


I think there's a miscommunication here. I meant that I was referring to the OP of this particular thread, that is, you. When people write long messages, they aren't thinking of you in particular. The person who replied to my earlier post thought I meant "generalised you", so I was just explaining what I actually meant.


I understood everything you were saying. Just wanted make it clear that I was talking about OP's asking for help and advice, rather than someone's lengthy response to that. Because I can skip over someone elses long response and still help the OP.

However, when I am the OP and someone gives me a 10 mile response, that is a problem too.
Because I do not want to be rude and ignore them, but have such a hard time reading stuff that
long and is so time consuming,



yournamehere
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05 Mar 2014, 9:34 am

EzraS wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I imagine that they aren't writing the post specifically for your benefit.


If there not writing the post for the reader then who ARE they writing it for?

Who else IS there?


I meant "for EzraS's benefit in particular".
Generally when people don't specify who they are talking to, they are addressing the OP of a thread.


Yeah but the OP is who I was talking about.

It is like the OP title is, "Please give me your opinion on this [fairly simple thing]"

Then they make a gigantic post that is kind like their "life history" even though they have been a WP member for a long time.
.

Let me give an example on a real issue I brought up in the teen forum Friends and Family section, only I used about 90% less words and still told what needed to be told.

Title: Me and my cousin, what is your opinion about this?

Okay, I was born August 20th 2000 and my cousin was born April 12th 2000 so that makes us about four months apart. We are cousins because my mom and his mom are sisters. Since my mo and his mom (my cousin that is) are stay at home moms, and they are like best friends, my cousin and I were lumped together all the time since we were little babies. Always given baths together and laid down next to each other for naps. I guess because our age is close to being the same, my cousin has always been able to reach me better than just about anyone else. It is alike he has always understood my autism on an instinctual level. He always seemed to know exactly what I needed and wanted and was like my translator. He would always be saying "Shea needs this" or "Shea needs to" or "Shea is unhappy because". I should explain that even though my first name is Ezra, my middle name is Shea and my family has always called me Shea instead of Ezra most of the time. I like both names, Ezra and Shea, My best friend also calls me Shea, but most everyone else calls me Ezra.

My best friend is my next door neighbor and moved in when we were both nine. He saw me and my cousin Liam playing outside and came over to say "hi" and told us his name was Ryan. My cousin Liam explained to Ryan that I did not talk and acted different because I have this thing called autism that makes me different from other kids, but that I am really cool (his words not mine). So Ryan spent time with me and my cousin Liam that day outside for a while and then came into our house and my cousin Liam introduced Ryan to my mom and dad who are my cousin Liam's aunt and uncle. Ryan played video games with us for a while and them went home. Then Ryan came over the next day when Liam was at his house which is about five miles from my house, and we watched some TV together. Sometime during this my mom talked to Ryan a little more about me being autistic and in what ways it made me different and that I don't like to be touched and stuff like that. But that I do like to be talked to and it might not look like I am paying much attention, but I am actually listening very closely. Then she told Liam, who is the boy who moved in next door to me when we were nine, that is when this was happening when we were both nine which was back in 2009, way to tell how I was happy or interested or annoyed and stuff like that because my expressions were very subtle ans not like other people.

So Ryan kept coming over on a regular basis and we became best friends and still are best friends. And like my cousin Liam, my friend Ryan helps me out with things I need help with because of my autism and because I have dysparxia which means I have fine motor skills problems so i need helping hands with certain things, I fell really blessed having both my cousin Liam and my best friend Ryan in my life and that they have always been so interested in being my friend and helping me. They are taking about maybe getting me an assistance dog as well to help me, mainly because I have really bad navigational skills and get lost really easily and because of awareness problems there is the danger of me getting hit by car, so the dog would help me with that the same as my cousin Liam has always helped me out with that by always holding my hand or wrist or keeping his hand on my shoulder or hanging onto my shirt tail.

Even though I have a problem with being touched or handled, especially unexpectedly. Even my mom and dad have to be careful about like grabbing me unexpectedly because will freak out, But Liam I guess because we are only four months apart and were kind of raised together since we were babies because our moms are sisters and stay at home moms and basically like best friends. So Liam has always been able to get away with grabbing me me and even tackling me and tickling me and stuff like that. This might sound weird but I have always identified Liam best by his smell. It's like he smells bad or weird or anything like that, but he just has this "Liam smell" I call it. So I can always tell it is him right away if he tackles me or whatever. Liam has always been good at figuring out my autism and knowing what I want and what I need and used to translate that stuff to my mom and really helped my mom and dad in understanding me better and relating to me better. Also it helped with my aunt and uncle and my grandma and my grandpa understand how to work with me better also. There are times when I get anxiety attacks and or start to have a sensory overload meltdown and Liam comes up behind me and that's okay because his "Liam smell" always makes me know it is him and he stands behind me and wraps his arms around me and hugs me that way. It kind of looks like he is giving the Heimlich maneuver, but he holds me higher on my chest than that. So he will just hold me tight like that to kind of keep me under control and it comforts me like one of those "hug vests".

Since we were always put in the same crib and playpen for naps, we ere used to sleeping next to each other and have continued to sleep next to each other as we have gotten older. Usually we sleep back to back but sometimes Liam wraps his arms around me when he can tell I need the comfort of that. I think they call that compression comfort. And we both only sleep in just our underwear both when we are sleeping by ourselves or at home. Now me and my best friend Ryan have also always bunked together during sleepovers and to tell the truth when puberty started we began to have special feelings for each other if you know what I mean and I guess we are basically in a gay relationship tether. But me and my cousin Liam even though we are really close do not have any kind of feelings like that for each other at all. So when my friend Ryan and I are having a sleepover together at his house or my house we always keep the door closed and his folks and my folks never come in without knocking.

But since me and my cousin Liam and I are never fooling around or anything like that if you know what I mean, the door whether at my house or his house is often open at least part way. So like our parents have always seen us bunking together when they are walking by to get to their room or wherever. Well one day my uncle, who is Liam's dad, came in to wake us up and we were sleeping with Liam having his arms around me, and we were just only wearing our underwear. So he wakes us up and we kind of untangle from each other and are sitting up in bed next to each other the same as always, and my uncle is just standing there looking at us. Finally my cousin said "what?" and my uncle said, "we are wondering if you boys are not getting too old for this". Then left the room and me and my cousin sat there with our mouths hanging open in like shock or whatever. Liam was more effected by it because he was reading my uncle's facial expression, body language and tone of voice that I am kind of oblivious to, and he said my uncle was expressing disapproval. And that really upset Liam because in all these years he has always gotten huge approval in being so close to me like no one else can be, except for my friend Ryan, and how he always knows how to comfort me and make me feel better. So this came as a real shock to us both and us bunking together is nothing we ever thought anyone else would think is wrong. But I guess, and he guesses, that since we are teenagers now it is that we are getting to old for it. So we are wondering if we should quit bunking together or if it doesn't really matter and keep doing it. We did bunk together again the next night because I was sleeping over at my aunt and uncle's house for the weekend. But this time we kept the door closed for like the first tome ever. Certainly for the first time ever on purpose, even though we have absolutely nothing to hide from our folks in what we do together in his room or my room. No one has said anything more to us about it. And Liam said no one is looking at us funny or acting funny or anything like that, so that is a good thing. But what my uncle said is still sticking to us and we are not sure what we should do and of course we don't want to bring it up with our folks because we do not want our folks to say anything more about it.

^ That is what I am talking about. Maybe interesting, but unnecessarily long and not really fair it seems to me to those I'm asking advice from.
.



Nice!! ! I turned this into a quote, so you can read it again.

Is there anything you would like to add? :lol:



zer0netgain
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05 Mar 2014, 9:56 am

EzraS wrote:
^ That is what I am talking about. Maybe interesting, but unnecessarily long and not really fair it seems to me to those I'm asking advice from..


And I just scrolled through all of it because I don't have the time to read it all and get to other posts today. :P



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05 Mar 2014, 10:11 am

I think it depends on what the original post is about. A lot more members here are more intelligent than me (don't be fooled by my descent spelling, punctuation, grammer and language in general, it does not take a genius to type out posts like I do), so reading paragraph after paragraph of really complicated information about a really complicated topic using long words is just like reading a foreign language to me.

I do enjoy reading an original post about a social faux pas what the OPer is worried about and needs feedback from their WP friends. I don't even mind if it has a lot of added detail, and starts off with ''it was a lovely spring day...'' It's like reading a small story.


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05 Mar 2014, 10:12 am

Actually I enjoyed your long post Ezra, and all the details helped me to fully understand your situation. If you'd cut to the point and simply asked "is it wrong for teenage cousins to sleep together" - well yeah, that probably seems weird to most people. But with the context you provided, it seems completely understandable, and my reaction was that it's sad that a situation that is perfectly happy and functional has to end because of society's arbitrary rules of what is considered 'normal' or 'appropriate'.

I don't think it's selfish to write long posts. It's other people's choice, whether they want to read them or not. (And to turn that logic around, some might see it as selfish to demand that other people keep their posts short for your convenience!) If you don't like long posts, you don't have to read them, and it's okay!



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05 Mar 2014, 12:16 pm

Ashariel wrote:
Actually I enjoyed your long post Ezra, and all the details helped me to fully understand your situation. If you'd cut to the point and simply asked "is it wrong for teenage cousins to sleep together" - well yeah, that probably seems weird to most people. But with the context you provided, it seems completely understandable, and my reaction was that it's sad that a situation that is perfectly happy and functional has to end because of society's arbitrary rules of what is considered 'normal' or 'appropriate'.

I don't think it's selfish to write long posts. It's other people's choice, whether they want to read them or not. (And to turn that logic around, some might see it as selfish to demand that other people keep their posts short for your convenience!) If you don't like long posts, you don't have to read them, and it's okay!


I agree with this. If somebody writes a long post, it's down to the viewer if they want to read it or not. Some might enjoy reading long posts, others are too lazy to read long posts (like me :) ), and others might be slower-readers and just skip some parts of the post.


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05 Mar 2014, 3:27 pm

I don't write long posts as a choice over short ones -- sometimes it's the best I can do and I can't make them any shorter or they don't make sense or don't exist. (Meaning: Sometimes I can find more than one way of saying something and other times I can't; Sometimes I can take apart an idea and figure out which parts of it are important/central to communicating it, other times can't....in the times when I can't, the choice is not "long post vs. short post" but "long post vs. no post".)


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05 Mar 2014, 4:55 pm

EzraS wrote:
Marybird wrote:
I don't like to read long posts either.
By the time I get to the end of the post, I have forgoten the beginning of the post and the title of the thread.


Exactly, it's not just the length, it is trying to sort all of it.
Am temped to just reply to all of them, "Unnecessarily long, can't read :("


I also find it funny that the majority of posts on the topic are very short.
I like it when people say something like "TL;DR" which means "too long, didn't read" and they summarise the post, although I have never seen this happen here.
D:

Also, Jojopa, CREEPY MERLIN CHILD!
Unless it is an expansive topic with many issues I would like to address, I do not post long messages.
I also break them up with the enter key.


EzraS wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I imagine that they aren't writing the post specifically for your benefit.


If there not writing the post for the reader then who ARE they writing it for?

Who else IS there?


I meant "for EzraS's benefit in particular".
Generally when people don't specify who they are talking to, they are addressing the OP of a thread.


Yeah but the OP is who I was talking about.

It is like the OP title is, "Please give me your opinion on this [fairly simple thing]"

Then they make a gigantic post that is kind like their "life history" even though they have been a WP member for a long time.
.

Let me give an example on a real issue I brought up in the teen forum Friends and Family section, only I used about 90% less words and still told what needed to be told.

Title: Me and my cousin, what is your opinion about this?

Okay, I was born August 20th 2000 and my cousin was born April 12th 2000 so that makes us about four months apart. We are cousins because my mom and his mom are sisters. Since my mo and his mom (my cousin that is) are stay at home moms, and they are like best friends, my cousin and I were lumped together all the time since we were little babies. Always given baths together and laid down next to each other for naps. I guess because our age is close to being the same, my cousin has always been able to reach me better than just about anyone else. It is alike he has always understood my autism on an instinctual level. He always seemed to know exactly what I needed and wanted and was like my translator. He would always be saying "Shea needs this" or "Shea needs to" or "Shea is unhappy because". I should explain that even though my first name is Ezra, my middle name is Shea and my family has always called me Shea instead of Ezra most of the time. I like both names, Ezra and Shea, My best friend also calls me Shea, but most everyone else calls me Ezra.

My best friend is my next door neighbor and moved in when we were both nine. He saw me and my cousin Liam playing outside and came over to say "hi" and told us his name was Ryan. My cousin Liam explained to Ryan that I did not talk and acted different because I have this thing called autism that makes me different from other kids, but that I am really cool (his words not mine). So Ryan spent time with me and my cousin Liam that day outside for a while and then came into our house and my cousin Liam introduced Ryan to my mom and dad who are my cousin Liam's aunt and uncle. Ryan played video games with us for a while and them went home. Then Ryan came over the next day when Liam was at his house which is about five miles from my house, and we watched some TV together. Sometime during this my mom talked to Ryan a little more about me being autistic and in what ways it made me different and that I don't like to be touched and stuff like that. But that I do like to be talked to and it might not look like I am paying much attention, but I am actually listening very closely. Then she told Liam, who is the boy who moved in next door to me when we were nine, that is when this was happening when we were both nine which was back in 2009, way to tell how I was happy or interested or annoyed and stuff like that because my expressions were very subtle ans not like other people.

So Ryan kept coming over on a regular basis and we became best friends and still are best friends. And like my cousin Liam, my friend Ryan helps me out with things I need help with because of my autism and because I have dysparxia which means I have fine motor skills problems so i need helping hands with certain things, I fell really blessed having both my cousin Liam and my best friend Ryan in my life and that they have always been so interested in being my friend and helping me. They are taking about maybe getting me an assistance dog as well to help me, mainly because I have really bad navigational skills and get lost really easily and because of awareness problems there is the danger of me getting hit by car, so the dog would help me with that the same as my cousin Liam has always helped me out with that by always holding my hand or wrist or keeping his hand on my shoulder or hanging onto my shirt tail.

Even though I have a problem with being touched or handled, especially unexpectedly. Even my mom and dad have to be careful about like grabbing me unexpectedly because will freak out, But Liam I guess because we are only four months apart and were kind of raised together since we were babies because our moms are sisters and stay at home moms and basically like best friends. So Liam has always been able to get away with grabbing me me and even tackling me and tickling me and stuff like that. This might sound weird but I have always identified Liam best by his smell. It's like he smells bad or weird or anything like that, but he just has this "Liam smell" I call it. So I can always tell it is him right away if he tackles me or whatever. Liam has always been good at figuring out my autism and knowing what I want and what I need and used to translate that stuff to my mom and really helped my mom and dad in understanding me better and relating to me better. Also it helped with my aunt and uncle and my grandma and my grandpa understand how to work with me better also. There are times when I get anxiety attacks and or start to have a sensory overload meltdown and Liam comes up behind me and that's okay because his "Liam smell" always makes me know it is him and he stands behind me and wraps his arms around me and hugs me that way. It kind of looks like he is giving the Heimlich maneuver, but he holds me higher on my chest than that. So he will just hold me tight like that to kind of keep me under control and it comforts me like one of those "hug vests".

Since we were always put in the same crib and playpen for naps, we ere used to sleeping next to each other and have continued to sleep next to each other as we have gotten older. Usually we sleep back to back but sometimes Liam wraps his arms around me when he can tell I need the comfort of that. I think they call that compression comfort. And we both only sleep in just our underwear both when we are sleeping by ourselves or at home. Now me and my best friend Ryan have also always bunked together during sleepovers and to tell the truth when puberty started we began to have special feelings for each other if you know what I mean and I guess we are basically in a gay relationship tether. But me and my cousin Liam even though we are really close do not have any kind of feelings like that for each other at all. So when my friend Ryan and I are having a sleepover together at his house or my house we always keep the door closed and his folks and my folks never come in without knocking.

But since me and my cousin Liam and I are never fooling around or anything like that if you know what I mean, the door whether at my house or his house is often open at least part way. So like our parents have always seen us bunking together when they are walking by to get to their room or wherever. Well one day my uncle, who is Liam's dad, came in to wake us up and we were sleeping with Liam having his arms around me, and we were just only wearing our underwear. So he wakes us up and we kind of untangle from each other and are sitting up in bed next to each other the same as always, and my uncle is just standing there looking at us. Finally my cousin said "what?" and my uncle said, "we are wondering if you boys are not getting too old for this". Then left the room and me and my cousin sat there with our mouths hanging open in like shock or whatever. Liam was more effected by it because he was reading my uncle's facial expression, body language and tone of voice that I am kind of oblivious to, and he said my uncle was expressing disapproval. And that really upset Liam because in all these years he has always gotten huge approval in being so close to me like no one else can be, except for my friend Ryan, and how he always knows how to comfort me and make me feel better. So this came as a real shock to us both and us bunking together is nothing we ever thought anyone else would think is wrong. But I guess, and he guesses, that since we are teenagers now it is that we are getting to old for it. So we are wondering if we should quit bunking together or if it doesn't really matter and keep doing it. We did bunk together again the next night because I was sleeping over at my aunt and uncle's house for the weekend. But this time we kept the door closed for like the first tome ever. Certainly for the first time ever on purpose, even though we have absolutely nothing to hide from our folks in what we do together in his room or my room. No one has said anything more to us about it. And Liam said no one is looking at us funny or acting funny or anything like that, so that is a good thing. But what my uncle said is still sticking to us and we are not sure what we should do and of course we don't want to bring it up with our folks because we do not want our folks to say anything more about it.

^ That is what I am talking about. Maybe interesting, but unnecessarily long and not really fair it seems to me to those I'm asking advice from.
.


I liked this story :D.
Although I don't normally like short stories this one was real and interesting and I could empathise with it.

This is probably a long post.
Sorry :P.
Since I enjoyed the story so much I may have to go check out the Friends and Family forum.
I have been staying here for all of my time because I didn't think the rest was relevant.
Thanks for *possibly* reading!


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EzraS
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06 Mar 2014, 4:44 am

yournamehere wrote:

Nice!! ! I turned this into a quote, so you can read it again.

Is there anything you would like to add? :lol:


Dear god no. Not even I, the author, want to read all that. But I did write it out as an accurate and legible account.
I did purposely go into unnecessary (but accurate) detail, and was purposely repetitive in some areas,
as I see long posts being, but it was still the straight poop. Am sure someone probably savored every
word of it. If I did it as a school essay, it probably would have done okay :P

LifUlfur wrote:

I also find it funny that the majority of posts on the topic are very short.
I like it when people say something like "TL;DR" which means "too long, didn't read"
D:


Yeah was thinking you probably know the lingo. I've done a few tl;dr in the teen forums.

Quote:
Also, Jojopa, CREEPY MERLIN CHILD!


yeah yeah


LifUlfur wrote:
I liked this story :D.
Although I don't normally like short stories this one was real and interesting and I could empathise with it.


thanx


LifUlfur wrote:
Since I enjoyed the story so much I may have to go check out the Friends and Family forum.


oh god



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06 Mar 2014, 5:09 am

Word of warning Ezra, don't try reading any James Joyce.


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06 Mar 2014, 8:17 am

Wow that's interesting because for me it's exactly the opposite. When I am reading a topic I am interested in I want to know every little detail and actually it drives me mad when people don't explain things well and I have to be asking questions.
For instance, a person wants some advice and writes: "my boyfriend dumped me I don't know what to do help" ookay how am I supposed to help, you didn't explain anthing ! how long have you been dating? how did it begin? what is his personality like? what happened for him to dump you? etc etc
When it's a topic that I don't think is interesting I just skip the long replies, simple.
On the other hand I think I am concise when I am writing. If the post is long that's because it's very dense in information.



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06 Mar 2014, 8:18 am

Wow that's interesting because for me it's exactly the opposite. When I am reading a topic I am interested in I want to know every little detail and actually it drives me mad when people don't explain things well and I have to be asking questions.
For instance, a person wants some advice and writes: "my boyfriend dumped me I don't know what to do help" ookay how am I supposed to help, you didn't explain anthing ! how long have you been dating? how did it begin? what is his personality like? what happened for him to dump you? etc etc
When it's a topic that I don't think is interesting I just skip the long replies, simple.
On the other hand I think I am concise when I am writing. If the post is long that's because it's very dense in information.



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06 Mar 2014, 6:29 pm

I do not reply in long posts.
Back in school if there was an interesting assignment I would write up to 20 DIN-A 4 pages about that topic of interest in a day, but all I received was all what I had written crossed through with a red pen and written at the side: redundant information, not important information, too may details, missed point (which point in whose definition?).
Means I could not discriminate the "important" from the "non-important", by whoever definition.
As one gets punished for doing wrong, I started writing less and less.
Still I have a problem reading too long posts as well.


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06 Mar 2014, 7:20 pm

linatet wrote:
Wow that's interesting because for me it's exactly the opposite. When I am reading a topic I am interested in I want to know every little detail and actually it drives me mad when people don't explain things well and I have to be asking questions.


Me too! So often I wish people wrote more, not less.



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06 Mar 2014, 7:55 pm

In my reading, it's the newbies who do this.
Honestly folks, we DON'T need to know everything you think about.


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