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2wheels4ever
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07 Mar 2014, 12:31 am

This is a major sticking point in my life lately.Everyone else in the house has no problem spending 16 hours all in the same room together while 1 of them monopolizes the TV remote ( which is not really an issue with me since there are very few insipid and banal shows I can stomach being in the same room to watch) while the others are content to stare at a paused frame on the screen when the channel surfer pauses the DVR to do something on Fakebook. I just don't `understand the attraction. Things would be fine if they all just did that and left me to come in and out of the house throughout the day trying to do something productive without getting into my business about it. The problem lies in that most of us have similar DNA but very different interests. Their complaint du jour at me is that I spend too much time in my room. I'm not sneaking girls in, plotting any crimes or doing drugs, so why should it matter what goes on behind my door? I keep my door shut because I don't like my room smelling of dog urine, besides it's none of anyone else's business again, and also to be respectful about my birds and guitar sounds (which it's also difficult to get into any flow if there's a chance one of them might hear me playing). I just don't get it, can anyone enlighten me on this obsession some people have on this constant 24/7 togetherness? I wish I could get my point across that I need the degree of solitude I do? It's always OK for the TV remote wielder/ Facebook addict to be antisocial and claim certtain visitors wear them out so they have an excuse to hole up in their room.


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Norny
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07 Mar 2014, 2:29 am

I don't know either, though it isn't limited to NTs by any means.

I'm similar to you in that I've always needed to stay in my room, including when we have guests (such as my grandparents). It's really annoying when anyone comes over as my parents are always demanding me to come out, and to use their terms, 'be polite and socialize for once'. I've made it a habit over the years to come out as soon as someone arrives and greet them and hang around for 5 minutes or so, but then I go back into my room. From then on, any point at which I exit my room they all make comments such as 'He's alive!', which makes me incredibly mad as they do it every god damn time. They all watch me as I go get food from the fridge or something, and I feel like I'm going to explode from things like that. If I actually stay out for a bit (usually I'm forced to) it's always the same confronting questions, but I won't go into details.

Everyone claims that I'm just addicted to video games and that's all I want to do.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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07 Mar 2014, 4:03 am

Working as a cashier four out of seven days in a week, I have to deal with a lot of people in a very, very, public space, so when I go home, I absolutely crave my alone time. As a result, I spend most of my time in my room, down in the basement surfing the web, posting on WP and my other forums, and listening to music. The family I'm living with doesn't exactly get it, but at least they are willing to tolerate it. Sometimes one of them will come near my door (really a curtain, the basement here is only half-finished) and knock on the wall to get my attention for something, and while I don't exactly like this, it's better than what my "best friend" does by just barging in unannounced.

People who barge into my room unannounced are just the worst. They don't give you time to clean up or change your clothes or whatever, they're just outside your room one second, in it the next.

My privacy here isn't the greatest it's ever been, but I take what I can get, and I've certainly dealt with worse before.



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07 Mar 2014, 4:13 am

A lot of times people view participation of others in similar activities (or opinions) as validation of their behavior/beliefs.

If you're not participating then you're not validating (which isn't your problem unless they want to make it your problem), and insecure people may think of non-participation as "criticism" of their way.
Nobody likes criticism, not even the amusingly named Constructive Criticism, so somebody is likely to yammer on about it if you don't do things the way they do things (including television viewing habits).

Considering there's over 7 billion of us, prepare to be yammered at.
A lot.


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2wheels4ever
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08 Mar 2014, 12:41 am

Some very insightful comments here that give me a better way of looking at things; throughout the last few days I'd been feeling as though I was in Soviet land.

I can relate to the confrontational line of questioning- I find what helps a bit if someone says "what are you doing?" I tell them "A" and then I'm going to "B:. That seems to shut them up.

I like the concept of them seeing compliance as validation, maybe I can find ways of having them think I approve of their (in)activity without actually having to fully engage in it


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